My great-grandmother was widowed at the age of 36. In the era when the rural economy is depressed and the rural customs are bad, raise a few children. Kneel down to the leader of the brigade, and the 500 yuan divided by the land reform was exchanged for two thatched houses to shelter the family from the wind and rain.
Great-grandmother's cousin went to Taiwan Province Province with the Kuomintang. Send her gold earrings when she returns to the mainland. When I was in college, my great-grandmother gave it to me to make a ring.
My great-grandmother is seventy years older than me.
When I was born, my great grandmother's eldest son (my great grandfather) passed away. Later, my great-grandmother often cried when she remembered it.
I heard from my mother that my great-grandmother was very protective of me. When my feet hurt when I was a child, my great-grandmother scolded her and said that the shoes she bought for me were small.
I vaguely remember that my great-grandmother took me to Aunt Yunxi's house. When I was a child, I liked to eat canned rice with eggs cooked slowly, and my great-grandmother cooked it for me.
Trying to remember, my great-grandmother took my little hand and walked on the path leading to Lucheng Street. Twenty years ago, the weeds on the left were taller than mine. I was walking slowly, a little scared and a little curious.
1996, when I was four or five years old, our family moved to a new home. My great-grandmother refused to move and insisted on living alone in the old house. I don't know if it was that year. In front of the old house, I knelt down and asked my great-grandmother to move to the new house.
When I was in primary school, my great-grandmother often came to my new home and cooked for me. Sometimes after school, my parents and grandparents are not at home, so I look for an old house. My great-grandmother burned firewood and cooked for me with that big iron pot.
In my memory, my great-grandmother also slept with me.
Junior high school goes to school in Yunxi and goes home by the month. From elementary school to high school, I went to my old house to visit my great-grandmother, and she would take out all the eggs in the porcelain jar for me.
At that time, my great-grandmother washed her own clothes, took water from the faucet at the door, carried it into the house to cook, and went out to collect junk and sell it. On the left side of the window sill, there is washing powder in the soap box, and the key is hidden in the window sill when you go out. I feel that she is always full of energy.
/kloc-when I was 0/8 years old, I wanted to stay away from my hometown and quoted a song, "If a person is determined to go to the countryside, he will never return until he becomes famous; Bones don't need to be buried, life is everywhere. "When I arrived in Beijing.
Go to college, work for more than 8 years, and go home two or three times a year. Until I work, I will receive a red envelope from my great-grandmother every New Year.
19 12 years, my great-grandmother and granddaughter (my aunt Yunxi) passed away. Now that I think about it, I didn't go home at that time.
19 16, my great-grandmother's youngest son (my seventh grandfather) passed away. Great-grandmother wept bitterly. In her nineties, she kept vigil on the night of her death and refused to sleep. After the burial of Seventh Master, my great-grandmother went to the cemetery alone with crutches many times.
19 17 years 10 month, I got engaged. Great-grandmother held Beibei's hand and smiled.
18 18 In May, my sister-in-law got married. Great-grandmother solved another trouble. As always, she is worried that she will die soon.
I got married on 18 18 10. I didn't have a wedding in my hometown. The whole wedding was related to my great-grandmother. It's just that Beibei and I knelt on the chair to offer tea and receive red envelopes. Now I find that there is no photo with my great-grandmother.
On the 11th National Day, my great-grandmother urged me to go to my uncle's house for dinner. She said it was the last chance. I just found out that my great-grandmother is haggard and weak in legs and feet, and she will never be so energetic again.
I couldn't stop crying, but I went back to work in Beijing.
After returning to Beijing, my mother hinted on the phone that my great-grandmother might not survive next year. I cried several times in my sleep. Begin to implement the plan of going home several times a year.
The ticket to go home is still two weeks later, and my great-grandmother has already left!
My great-grandmother missed me very much before she died and asked her sister-in-law to put the red envelope I gave her after I got married in the shroud. Broke my heart!
When I was young, I only had my own delusions. The peace of mind behind it is that parents are still young, grandparents are still healthy, and great-grandmother can live longer.
My dream woke up.
Too many regrets can't be made up; Too much kindness will never be rewarded; The plan to resume worship in the new year can no longer be realized; Go home from now on and never see my great-grandmother again!
The winter nights are long and the river is deserted. The gongs and drums are loud and the night songs are endless. Heaven and man are separated forever, and the liver and intestines are broken! Alas, I am still satisfied!
Great-grandson Marten cries and sacrifices!
65438+February 4th, the first seven days
The custom of the first seven seems to come from Buddhism. During the Northern and Southern Dynasties, July 7th recommendation became popular in the secular world. Buddhism says that among the six divisions in the karma wheel, after death, there is a stage of yin body, which lasts for seven days.
"Empathy, Wanting to Live Ten Pure Land Classics": "Those who die of Yin, such as children, should be blessed. May death make life infinite, and if you inherit this merit, you will die. "
"The Original Wishing Sutra of Tibetan Bodhisattva": "It is the end of life and there is no life. In these seven or seven days, I hope that all my flesh and blood relatives will be saved by interests, but in the future, I will repay them with my career. " . He also said: "If we can create a lot of goodness within 77 days after the death of the body, we can make all living beings get rid of evil interests forever, get a life and win wonderful happiness. Now that we are married, the benefits are boundless."
The Sanskrit says, "On the day when parents, brothers, monks and nuns die, on the third, seventh and even seventh day, we should also recite the Mahayana Sutra, and fast for the benefit of the living."
I'd like to start learning from Buddhism and keeping precepts, and pray for my great-grandmother.
65438+February10erqi
The recommendation of July 7th is calculated from the date of death of the deceased, so the first seven are miscalculated.
Time flies, it's already the second week after my great-grandmother died. I also moved from sadness to normal life.
Sometimes I think of my great-grandmother. At first, all kinds of fantasies were frightening; When I first started to learn the Diamond Sutra, I prayed sincerely, believed in induction, and felt peaceful inside.
I suddenly found that my great-grandmother lived to be nearly 100 years old, but it is rare in rural areas. Even longer than Mr. Qian Mu and Mr. nan huaijin. My great-grandmother didn't read much, and I also know that the realm of life is created by practicing kung fu. I believe in her virtue.
Although my great-grandmother has been old in the past two years, her strength in legs and feet and her appetite are declining, she still walks very fast. I heard from my mother that my great-grandmother was only in bed for a week, and she was still conscious the day she died. The average rural old lady often stays in bed for months or even years, and has long been delirious.
Dad burst into tears on the night when his great-grandmother was buried, saying that if his great-grandmother stayed in bed and disturbed him for a while, he would feel much more at ease. However, my great-grandmother hardly bothered future generations. Even in bed, she lets visitors do their own thing. She misses Uncle Bear and me in the distance. Please don't tell us something. She is always considerate of others.
My neighbor's grandmother helped cook at the funeral. She said she thanked my great-grandmother. She and her great-grandmother have been neighbors for decades. If she is not at home, her great-grandmother often helps collect clothes.
Great-grandmother likes to have breakfast in Fang Jia, Lucheng Street. Aunt Fang said that her great-grandmother sat outside the store even in winter and couldn't walk up the steps, for fear of trouble to help. She always pays for breakfast as soon as possible for fear that others will pay for her. She said that she was dying, and she owed a favor and couldn't pay it back. On the first anniversary of Seventh Grandpa's death, my great-grandmother bought two bags of noodles to go to the grave, one for herself and one for her son.
Before her great-grandmother died, she gave two boxes of eight-treasure porridge to Aunt Xiang across the street. She almost lost her temper and said that she was tired of eating, and finally let the other party accept it.
I seldom cook once on weekends, and it suddenly occurred to me that I have never cooked once for my great-grandmother. It should be that I have never cooked for the whole family once. I grew up under the care of my whole family. There is no chance to repay my great-grandmother.
Confucius said, "Sacrifice is like this." If there is a good family, it must be Qing Yu. I hope to make persistent efforts in this life. At this time, continue to study the Diamond Sutra, explore the meaning of Buddhism, and pray.
65438+February 65438+July 37
How time flies. Three weeks have passed, which seems like a long time. I just confirmed this week that my great-grandmother really left. Just get used to it.
Busy life, I didn't expect more near-collapse blows.
I quarreled with Beibei. She complained that after her great-grandmother died, I forced her to abandon everything and come home with me as soon as possible, even though she had a bad cold. Had a big fight. Later, I realized that people's behavior can't be forced to regulate, and only the heart has real feelings.
Grandpa is in hospital because of dizziness. He is over seventy years old and has done endless hard work. I was filled with emotion, and told Beibei the plan to return to Wuhan again. Another big battle. Beibei said that I didn't set a goal and changed. Said I didn't grow up.
He also said that I was faking it and didn't see how I usually treat my family. In fact, I used to just call and go home two or three times a year to do some shopping. Go home. What did I do? This is precisely the most painful. After another quarrel, I realized that we are married, Beibei needs a husband to rely on, and I need to be responsible for this family. Instead of being nice to her when she is in love.
Dad's diabetes seems to be starting to have complications-the registration of the city hospital is Beibei's heart. Parents should be under great pressure. The older generation needs to be taken care of, their health is getting worse and worse, and their economic pressure is great. Last year, I forced my parents to borrow hundreds of thousands to make a down payment and spit out my father's incompetence. This is me.
There is no breakthrough in my work, and I regret it for so many years. I stayed up all night and worked a lot of overtime, but now my ability has not broken through and I can't solve all kinds of problems.
I know my grandfather, grandmother, grandfather and grandmother are all coming to the end of their lives. Maybe not far away. Dad's diabetes really can't get worse.
I looked up and looked around. My colleagues were all working overtime, very tired, taking care of sick family members, raising children, eager to grow up, and all kinds of problems. So I learned a little about life. I used to live in my dreams and my own world under the protection of my family.
I think of my great-grandmother's loneliness in her later years, the scene before her death, and the etiquette when she died. This is the only way for all of us to live physically.
So I read some famous books. Only then did I know that the heart of ancient benevolent people was honed in the life and death of individuals and relatives. I didn't mind reading before, and it doesn't count.
Then, I realized that my great-grandmother had suffered so much in her life! But I gave too much love.
Great-grandson, in this life, I hope to do my best.
65438+February 24th April 7th
Start to change. Finding the deficiency comes from the deficiency of learning, finding the deficiency of practical experience and finding that the previous goal is unrealistic. Start looking for information, contact training courses, and observe sensitively; Start buying a house and communicate with colleagues under the leadership of Beibei; It is not easy to begin to understand everyone, to see that the post-80s past is their future, and to believe that peace is far-reaching.
But there are always too many things to do, such as dad's diabetes, grandpa's dizziness, and the manuscript of the book club. ...
So as to return to the way of ancient sages. Just do the filial piety, loyalty and love of this heart.
The human heart is only in danger, and the heart is only small. If you don't work hard here, you'll just turn around.
With a layer of efforts, there is a layer of realm, which brings a layer of happiness.
My great-grandmother asked me to bring a red envelope before she died, hoping to bring me wealth. This deep love is my great-grandson that I will never forget in my life.
65438+February 31May 7
Liu Cheng's funeral is only on May 7th. Burn ghost bags once every seven days, with a total of seven, and thirty-five on May 7th. On this day, relatives get together again, which is a farewell to great-grandmother.
The same day is the last day of 20 18. I will greet my new life with memories of my great-grandmother.
The study of saints is also the study of mind and nature. Crossing the river by yourself has no intention in the world. Holding on to your ambition is like heartache, and this will happen.