"You are a lotus leaf, I am a red-violet, and the raindrops in my heart are coming. Except you, who is the shade under my unobstructed sky? " Behind the parents' gaze, the backs of generations of Tsinghua students are like a lotus, swaying in Tsinghua, Shui Mu.

Children's growth can never be separated from parents' inculcation and warm family background. Behind every excellent child, there are wise elders and relatives, just like behind every ocean voyage, there is a firm and bright lighthouse.

"Tsinghua Enrollment" is launching the column "Talking about the experience of relatives and friends" one after another. We expect parents to tell us about their children's growing experiences and share their educational experiences with relatives and friends in Tsinghua. Parents who are willing to contribute, please send the manuscript to thuzsbtg@ 163.com, and indicate the school year, major and high school graduation school of their children in the letter. Please refer to the previous column "Experience of Friends and Family" for the form and content of the manuscript.

What we are sharing today is the mother of Cheng Zhuoxiao, a freshman of Tsinghua University in 2020. Let's take a look ~

Cheng zhuoxiao

Tsinghua University zero class freshmen

As the child entered Tsinghua's dream campus, she began a new life course. When friends around you meet and chat, they will more or less talk about their children's growth experiences. In retrospect, I actually have no special experience, that is, I am willing to spend my time and attention on my children. From the beginning of pregnancy to the time when my children enter the university campus, I will be willing to spend time and energy on my children and accompany them to lay a good foundation.

In childhood

In the childhood that accompanied many people, there were both stocking and necessary constraints, and personality was emphasized.

We pay more attention to prenatal education, and we will regularly listen to music, tell stories and chat to our baby during pregnancy. I keep enough exercise every day, and manage my emotions well to keep myself in a good mood. Prenatal education is very effective, the child is in good health and looks beyond our husband and wife; Especially when we are tone deaf, we find that children have a good sense of music.

When we were young, we raised children in principle. As long as the child doesn't make a mistake in principle, she won't restrain her behavior. In the meantime, I will try my best to ensure her outdoor activities. If I come back from work, I will take her out for a walk and go to the surrounding parks or suburbs on weekends. I attach importance to cultivating children's healthy bodies. I will take my children to friends' parties to increase her experience. Before going to bed, the child can watch an cartoon or I can tell her a story or recite and explain Tang poetry and Song poetry to her. Later, when she was older, she would read books for half an hour or play video games for about a quarter of an hour. At this relaxing moment before going to bed, the child has been enjoying graduating from primary school, which has given her a lot of happiness. I also found that as long as the child is given proper rules, the child's self-control is still very strong, and she can stop playing games for at least fifteen minutes, which makes me admire. However, it was later found that premature exposure to electronic products was very harmful to children's vision, and at least after the age of six, the impact of children's exposure to electronic products on their vision would be much smaller.

We will also talk about the cultivation of children's conduct, but more often, we will integrate into the trivial matters of life like this, not only considering meeting children's needs, but also formulating a small rule to regulate them, so that children can truly feel and habitually follow good behavior rules.

When a child has bad behavior, we will first think about what we have done badly, and then even if the child has done something wrong, we will tend to guide the child positively and try to help the child encourage him to develop in a good direction. We seldom scold our children. I remember that I might be in a bad mood for a while and talk to my children fiercely. Once I blurted it out when I was angry. If you make me angry again, I won't care about you. As a result, the child hugged me very grievance and begged me to be strict with her, but gentle and strict. Looking at the eager eyes of the child, I realized that I was wrong, and then I deliberately managed my emotions. Especially when I am angry, I remind myself to pay attention to my attitude towards my children and brake in time to stop the spread of my bad emotions. In fact, all children are strong and kind. We should treat her gently, support her and really be a good guide. Moreover, the process of accompanying children to grow up is also a kind of growth and promotion for ourselves. We will care about what we say and do to our children, and we will inadvertently impose more constraints on ourselves, which is considered to be growing up with our children.

preschool education

In the pre-school education stage, we should learn well and pay attention to the cultivation of study habits. Bedtime stories start children's literary enlightenment, and puzzles trigger children's mathematical thinking.

The child is about four years old, and we are going to arrange learning content for the child. The child's father said that if the child wants to study hard in the future, his ass should be stable. We have prepared a special desk and chair for the children. First, let the children practice sitting for 20 minutes. Let her go to the desk regularly to do things she is interested in, such as drawing, writing, doing puzzles, etc., as long as she can sit still at the desk. I usually stay quietly by, reading books and helping children answer questions. Later, the time was slowly extended to about 40 minutes, and even the child's sitting skills were practiced.

At the same time, I began to report various preschool interest classes to my children. In addition to the initial audition class, the following classes are decided by the child himself, and she is also required to do the classes herself, so she must go all out to learn well. For example, English teachers mainly take children to sing and dance and perform English content. When I get home, I will let my children recite and remember these contents. Mental arithmetic, I will practice with my children when I get home, and my children are very interested. Later, I found that this exercise is a child's instantaneous picture sense and memory, which is not a good habit for calculation, especially for complex calculation of physics and mathematics subjects. The teacher has always emphasized written calculation to reduce the probability of calculation errors.

Through bedtime stories every night and analyzing and explaining ancient Chinese reading to children from time to time, literary literacy subtly moistens children's hearts. When I was four years old, I told my children that if they could read, they would read stories much faster than their mothers, and they could read more good stories. Children really want to know how to read story books, so I bought some good-looking books with large fonts and pinyin for them. Every day, I will read it word by word with my child, and the words she knows will be read out loud by herself, then marked, and then we record the date and the numbers she has read at the top of the page. When reading these books in the second round, children can read more words by themselves. We will write down the new dates and words, and remember the little red star for the children according to the new words on each page, and summarize it every day and turn it into a smiling face. Ten red stars for a smiling face, a smiling face for a dime, and settlement every day. After playing this game for more than a month, the children's literacy has greatly increased. From then on, they began to read by themselves, and fell in love with their reading at once, and the reading speed was very fast.

After a while, we will go to the book city, spend a day in the bookstore, and then buy a bunch of books, including literary masterpieces and various books that children like. To cultivate children's skills, I usually send her a goal to attract her first, and then support her in a way suitable for her, encouraging her to practice constantly and improve her ability in this respect.

During primary school, children's homework will be done at school as much as possible, and I also tell them to be as fast and accurate as possible, just like exams. Usually, I have developed a good habit of answering questions, so it is naturally not easy to make mistakes in exams. Then at home in the evening, the children spend their study time doing their own learning tasks: reciting and writing ancient poems, reading books, Olympic math problem sets, reciting and writing English texts.

Primary school stage

After entering primary school, I will buy the reading list recommended by the school in time, and my children will be happy to finish reading these books. I will also buy some popular readers, such as Jin Yong's full set of cologne by San Mao Qiong Yao Xi Juan; Children will also choose their favorite books to enjoy. The child's massive reading period is about four to ten years old, which lays a solid foundation for her good literary skills in the future.

Parents should mainly accompany and teach their children before they graduate from primary school. Pre-school behavior norms, the cultivation of various hobbies, the strengthening and counseling of children's after-school study, the selection of teaching materials, and the supervision and cultivation of children's good study habits all require parents to spend a lot of time and thought to explore and implement.

You also need to take your children into the world and travel around the world. From Wangfujing in Beijing to Times Square in new york, from the Forbidden City to European castles, from Jiuzhaigou to Huangshi, from poverty-stricken mountainous areas with pits as toilets to desolate Indian reservation on the roadside where used cars are abandoned, we will lead children to know thousands of people, enhance their life and social experience and nourish their feelings of home and country. Massive reading and traveling in the east, west, north and south, a large number of humanistic information and personal experiences are instilled into children's young minds, nourishing the gradually formed conduct and behavior habits, and naturally a gentle little life grows up like this. As the saying goes, I believed it at the age of three and seven. Parents' guidance and cultivation of their children from an early age has a great influence on their children's later life.

Junior high school stage

After entering middle school and getting to know a group of Niu Wa and Teachers College, I basically don't have to worry about studying. The school has a good teaching atmosphere, teachers have excellent teaching plans and guidance, and students have strong competitive thrust. Children are naturally in a state of high-intensity study and going all out to follow the big troops at work. My main task is to provide children with quality logistics and occasional psychological decompression.

During junior high school, my children and I were more relaxed. After class, my children signed up for many elective courses on campus. Campus life is tense, fast and colorful, and my children live a full and happy life. Children often finish team projects with their classmates. Sometimes it's late. She also had a heated discussion with her classmates on WeChat group about how to make it better, laughing and laughing again and again-I am really happy to see my children studying and working so happily and diligently.

During the national college entrance examination

After entering high school, the pressure of the college entrance examination comes on, and the children's learning rhythm is much more tense. In addition to the compulsory after-school minor courses, the children's learning content is all around the college entrance examination. During the period of senior one and senior two, children will not only learn the in-class courses well, but also actively participate in competitions in various subjects to improve their ability to solve problems.

I was lucky enough to enter the summer camp in Tsinghua when I was a sophomore. After I had a close contact with Tsinghua campus in my mind, my children's motivation to come back to study became even crazier. They don't sleep at twelve o'clock every night-my task is to urge them to sleep as soon as possible. Chinese and English have always been children's strengths, and their grades in senior two have dropped inexplicably, especially Chinese, and children can't find out where their problems are. I encourage my children to learn her literature, and her Chinese is not bad. Many children with good Chinese have inexplicably encountered a bottleneck period and there is no effective solution. In this case, let's follow the teacher's guidance in a down-to-earth manner. Even if you can't get a high score in China sprint, it's good to get a normal score at ordinary times.

After entering the third year of high school, the child began to have some anxiety. Every month after the exam, they tell me why I didn't do well in this subject and how I lost points there. Although I will try my best to comfort my children, I will say, "If you don't make mistakes every time, you will become a scholar." "It is normal to make some mistakes in the exam. Make a good record of correcting mistakes and try to understand these wrong knowledge points. Just don't roll around here next time. " But gradually, I am also a little nervous. Sometimes I feel nervous and uncomfortable with my children. I joked that I had "College Entrance Examination Syndrome". I will remind myself to relax, try to provide enough psychological comfort and encouragement to my children and give them a solid psychological dependence. By the third year of high school, children's learning pressure is already great enough. At this time, our parents have a calm mind and decompress their children at any time, so that children can play their test-taking level normally every time. This is the most useful.

The next semester of senior three is quite special. Because of the epidemic, children basically attend classes online at home. Children feel that the efficiency of self-study is not good enough and ask for extra-curricular tutoring in several subjects every week. In order to be more efficient, ask children to be one-on-one. My attitude in applying for extra-curricular remedial classes is to look at children's needs, and I will meet their requirements. We trust our children's ability to control their own learning, so we don't make decisions for her children's learning. We can give her advice, but it's all child-led, and we fully meet their needs.

During the important college entrance examination

After three days of college entrance examination, I thought the child's mental state would be very stable. After so many years of practice and repeated mock exams, I should be used to the tense atmosphere in this examination room. The result was beyond my expectation. After taking the first Chinese exam, the child felt very bad and kept saying that the composition was not well written. I should have asked more questions from the beginning. After listening to the children constantly reflecting on themselves, I immediately tried to adjust my mentality-although I was anxious and uncomfortable, I still insisted on comforting my children. I told my children to believe in their own abilities, be rational, remember their usual exam experience, and don't waste feelings on it after the exam. I will go all out to review the subjects to be tested later, and I can get good grades as long as I play my usual ability. As soon as the final score came out, the child actually got the highest score in her high school, and all other subjects were normal.

These days of college entrance examination are really a very special and important time period. Children will inevitably be nervous, be swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and don't know what special circumstances will occur. Parents should step on the spot many times in advance, be familiar with the road conditions and the surrounding environment of the examination room, and must arrive around the examination room in advance, so that children can rest at ease or review before the exam; Children should go to the examination room in advance to adapt to the new environment. During the exam, parents should arrange their children's diet and rest, make psychological adjustments, comfort and encourage their children, and family members should not take the initiative to bring up the topic of the exam if the children don't say anything.

We should do more homework, but at the same time, it seems no different from usual. Don't do anything special to add unnecessary psychological burden to children. This is the most useful thing to ensure that children can play their normal test-taking level.

Grow up together to be a better self.

Looking back on the little things that children have grown up over the years, I feel that children really don't just belong to a family. The growth of a child has a lot to do with her surroundings, her classmates, campus, people around her, and even the atmosphere of the society and country. The child is the beneficiary of many resources, and we are fortunate to be her parents. We just try our best to study hard, expose our children to all kinds of high-quality resources, and make them grow richer and stronger.

Pay attention to the cultivation of study habits and lead children to read widely and travel around the world during primary school. During primary school, children have good physical strength and strong thirst for knowledge; Compared with junior high school and senior high school, the study pressure is the least, so "reading thousands of books and taking Wan Li Road" should be mainly completed in this period.

Although there is no pressure of the college entrance examination in junior high school, it is very important to learn all subjects well and practice solid basic skills without shortcomings.

High school is basically to cope with the college entrance examination, and to study and train completely for the exam. The pace of study is tense and the intensity of study is great. There are study tasks every month. Besides studying hard, you should be healthy and have good psychological quality.

Parents and children should accompany each other and fulfill each other, and the growth of children is also our growth. No matter whether your child is a "great doll" or an "ordinary doll" in the eyes of others, you should support and encourage him all the way, pay attention to him when he is stumbling, provide him with useful help in time, and try your best to help him enter the platform he hopes.

We grew up together and gained sweat and laughter along the way; Not only do you go all out, but also accompany your children to watch the flowers bloom and fall with a normal heart, and be a happy pioneer together!

Good old days

"Talking about the experiences of relatives and friends" series:

Listen to parents' educational experience

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | Chassis, engine and secret of the extraordinary development of college entrance examination

Experience of relatives and friends | Be a happy person.

Experience of relatives and friends | Every child is a seed that needs to be watered and nurtured with love.

Talk about the experience of relatives and friends | Be a good guide for children's life.

Experience of relatives and friends | Respect children and help them become the best themselves.

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | It is better to teach a child for more than ten years.

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | Growing up with children, success comes naturally.

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | When the east wind blows, a hundred flowers blossom.

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | Integrating into family education and sensing the temperature of the times

Experience of friends and relatives | Listen to children's voices and accompany them to grow up.

Experience of relatives and friends | Children's "Awakening" and "Firmness", Parents' Passion and Growth

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | Accompany children to become a better self

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | riding the wind and waves with children

Experience of relatives and friends | Become gentle and firm parents and achieve self-confident and conscientious children.

Talking about the experiences of relatives and friends

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | The story of growing up: hardworking children+well-taught teachers+conscientious parents.

Experience of friends and relatives | Hard youth will not live up to your dreams.

Experience of relatives and friends | Only by working hard silently can we wait patiently for flowers to bloom.

Talking about the experience of relatives and friends | If you have a dream in your heart, it is important to persist.

Experience of relatives and friends | Accompany children to grow up confidently

Wentu | Hao Cheng's mother