Interpreting Children's Personality —— Parents' Positive Psychology

Peng Kaiping? Yan Zhu Wei

Chapter 4: Self-efficacy-helping children to establish a life attitude that I can do.

First, what is self-efficacy?

1. Definition.

Self-efficacy refers to an individual's expectation and judgment on whether he has the ability to complete a task in a specific situation.

Everyone will have a subjective evaluation of their ability to accomplish something, which is mainly reflected in two aspects. One is the expectation of the result, that is, believe in yourself and think that you can do it; The other is efficiency expectation, that is, I think I can do it not because of good environment or good luck, but because of my ability, so I have to give full play to my ability and make full preparations for the result.

2. The role of self-efficacy.

1) Self-efficacy can stimulate our positive emotions.

2) Self-efficacy will affect our choice of environment.

3) Self-efficacy will determine our psychological characteristics.

Second, five factors that determine children's self-efficacy.

1. The child's previous success or failure experience.

Children's sense of self-efficacy is based on past experience. Parents encourage their children to take action and strive for success, which is the most effective way for children to gain self-efficacy.

However, the influence of successful experience on children's self-efficacy is mainly hindered by their habitual attribution style, that is, how children explain their success. For example, due to the influence of family or school public opinion atmosphere, children attribute the improvement of test scores to external reasons, such as attending cram schools and having parents' guidance and training. This way of attribution puts too much emphasis on the help of external resources to children. In this way, even if the children get good grades, they won't feel that their abilities have improved. And this will not only increase children's sense of efficacy, but also reduce children's sense of efficacy.

On the other hand, even if a child doesn't perform well in an exam, if the public opinion atmosphere he gets is positive, then he will attribute the failure of the exam to his own failure, rather than denying his ability. In this way, even if the child fails the exam, his sense of efficacy will not be reduced, and he may even make new breakthroughs in adversity and difficulties.

2. The influence of alternative experiences or role models.

A large part of people's sense of self-efficacy comes from the observation of others' experiences, that is, the role of role models or the influence of peers.

The comparison between people is also the mutual infection and stimulation of self-efficacy to some extent. For example, if your friend completes a very difficult task, then you will have a sense of self-confidence. If he can do it, of course I can do it. This comparison is not out of the mentality of "I want to hit you", but "I can", which will greatly stimulate self-efficacy.

Compare yourself with excellent people. Find out what you need to improve through comparison and set it as the direction of your efforts. Then this comparison will become a positive motivation and a clear message.

We can also expand the connotation of comparison. We can not only compare ourselves with others, but also compare ourselves with ourselves in the past, thus inspiring children to constantly break through their confidence and let them find that they have been making progress. This personal progress will also give children a successful experience and enhance their sense of self-efficacy.

3. Other people's comments.

If children can get the care, appreciation and attention of parents, teachers, classmates and other people around them when they grow up, and often hear words of affirmation, praise and encouragement, children will gain a sense of self-efficacy more easily.

4. Appropriate emotional arousal.

High-level emotional arousal will reduce children's performance, and then affect their subjective efficacy. When children are not particularly easily disturbed by arousal, their subjective efficacy will be higher.

We often have this experience. When we feel nervous, fearful and anxious, we will be swayed by considerations of gain and loss and even lose confidence. When we are happy or feel good, we will have a higher degree of self-confidence and think that we can overcome difficulties and achieve our goals.

5. Familiar environmental conditions.

Humans are eager to find a sense of security from the familiar and close environment. Once we enter an unfamiliar environment or an environment that can cause anxiety and fear, our level of self-efficacy will decrease.

In the process of children's growth, we should create more positive atmosphere for children, let them feel "I can do it" and "I can do it" from an early age, and constantly strengthen their sense of self-efficacy.

Third, my harvest.

1. Parents should affirm, praise and encourage their children and help them build up the confidence of "I can do it" and "I can do it".

Let children have a successful experience from simple things. Make them think I can do it. I have the ability.

No matter whether something is done or not, we should look for the part that children work hard in the process of doing things and give affirmation and praise.

Criticizing children is only about their behavior, not their talent and ability.

2. Make good use of comparison to improve children's sense of self-efficacy.

1) There is no difference between strength and weakness, but "I can do it" to stimulate children's sense of self-efficacy.

2) Compare yourself with outstanding people, and take the gap between them as a reference for your efforts and as your future goal. Give yourself goals and motivation to act.

3) By comparing your present self with your past self, you can find your progress, gain a successful experience and enhance your sense of self-efficacy.

3. Give children a sense of security and don't create stress and anxiety for them.