The first book is a general introduction to psychology, the second is an introduction to emotions in psychology, and the third introduces some strategies to deal with psychological problems, which is equivalent to applied psychology. I strongly recommend three books to you. Of course, I hope that if you want to read it, please stick to it. These three books, I think, will play a very good role in dealing with most psychological problems.
Three books are also easy to find online, and interested book lovers can buy them and have a look.
Today I share three ways to deal with anxiety.
0 1
The first method is called cognitive reconstruction.
Cognitive reconstruction is a term in psychology. It is a strategy to deal with fear, replacing negative and self-defeating thinking with positive and self-affirming thinking, thus changing the perception of fear from threat to non-threat.
This is the most important way for me to cope with anxiety.
Because of my introverted personality, I spent about four years working in different parts of the country, trying to cope with the anxiety of dealing with people by contacting different people.
I thought I had a serious social disorder. How serious is it? Even if there are relatives and friends at home and people haven't come in, I will run to the second floor to avoid them like a mouse. Sometimes when I meet an acquaintance, I will go far away, or even turn around and leave.
Fortunately, my academic performance is not bad, and I have some good friends, but there is little communication between them. If it's a classmate or a party, I usually find an excuse to refuse. I really couldn't refuse, and I just stayed there quietly when I arrived at the scene. Basically don't talk.
I shouldn't fall in love before work. Only unrequited love, it seems that I have never confessed to each other.
Personally, I don't smoke or drink, so I can't get along with others when I come out to work. I like reading books and keeping diaries, so I don't like going out to deal with others. The only interest in dealing with people is playing football, but it's a pity that they only communicate on the court and don't communicate after the game.
In those years, I traveled all over Shanghai, Guangdong, Jiangsu, Zhejiang, Hubei, Anhui and Fujian, reading books related to psychology and social interaction while doing sales work.
At that time, I would buy about 50 books a year, and I think the three books introduced above are the most useful to me. I learned some methods to deal with anxiety that suit me.
One of the most influential and helpful methods for me should be cognitive reconstruction.
Cognitive reconstruction is simply the change of thinking. From negative thinking to positive thinking, from self-defeating thinking to self-affirming thinking. At that time, I kept reminding myself that it was good for me to communicate with others more. Everyone is full of kindness to himself, and he can certainly handle all kinds of interpersonal relationships. ...
Go out to run business, do sales and do things that you hate and are not good at during the day. I sometimes watch advertisements in the mall with a microphone all day to attract customers to buy my products. But more often, I just walk outside, afraid to talk business with retailers, and I don't know what I want.
Read books at night and use this transformation of thinking to encourage yourself to stick to it. This state lasted for about a year.
During this time, I can do some simple interpersonal communication, such as communicating with strange customers. But some subtle communication, such as communication with smart retailers and your boss, will still have obstacles.
I later changed my training job, taking classes during the day and giving psychological counseling to new employees. I still read at night. This kind of work lasted for about three years, and I met a good leader in Shanghai, who was very kind to me and communicated smoothly. I also achieved the management position of training manager.
Later, he was transferred back to Guangzhou, and he also fell in love and got married smoothly, and formed his own family.
That's it. Slowly, I overcame this social anxiety.
Of course, there are many setbacks and failures in this process, but the result is good. I have well controlled my anxiety.
But I don't think this anxiety has been completely eliminated, and I think I may continue to fight.
02
The second method is physical exercise.
When I was in junior high school, I was already playing football. I play almost every day. Until the end of college, I won the championship of Guangzhou University Football League, and then I played less.
I think this kind of physical exercise has played an important role in coping with anxiety when I am studying at school. I am in good health. I didn't go to the hospital or take medicine. I should be in a good mental state, so I won't think about it.
For physical exercise now, I choose jogging. For two months, I finished jogging almost every day except for the bad thunderstorm weather.
In fact, the last thing people want to do after a day's work is physical exercise. Because the effect of exercise will not happen overnight.
In fact, the peak of exercise motivation appears after jogging for 3-7 days, and then the chance of exercise drops rapidly.
I didn't like running at first, but I read Haruki Murakami's book "What am I talking about when I'm talking about running". I found the connection between running and writing, so I persisted.
I think I insist on jogging and I insist on day shift almost in sync. The day shift started on May 8th, and now it has been 4 1 day, and I will continue to do it.
My introverted personality doomed me to be a very anxious person. Now I have found a new way to fight anxiety, that is jogging.
Jogging makes my body as healthy and energetic as when I used to play football. My mental state affects my communication with others, and my physical and mental health makes me more confident to communicate with others.
A good emotional state makes me look more accessible, happy and popular.
Jogging will also calm your heart and have more time to think about your problems in interpersonal communication.
In the three books introduced above, physical exercise is a very effective relaxation skill and a good way to deal with anxiety.
03
The third way to deal with anxiety is to keep a diary.
I have been keeping a diary in QQ space for several years. Because others can see it, it is more concise. It's basically a vague sentence. Later, when I used WeChat, I felt that I had no privacy, so I stopped writing.
I think keeping a diary at that time was helpful for social anxiety. At that time, many friends communicated with each other by leaving messages under my diary. It's just a pity that I didn't continue to write later, and many friends lost contact.
In recent months, I have written on simple books and met many book lovers with the same hobbies. This is something that makes me very happy. Everyone is comfortable talking and discussing with each other. Without any anxiety.
The first is that time is under control. In fact, everyone knows that it is more difficult to persist for one day. So in order to do this, all my spare time is spent reading books and collecting writing materials. It is actually very comfortable to spend all the extra time doing what you like best.
And I have done my daily work, and the quality of the article is slowly improving. This state gives you a sense of satisfaction that life can control. The anxiety in life is gradually reduced.
Secondly, the completion of the day shift gave me a sense of accomplishment and encouraged me to continue writing. A sense of accomplishment is a very good psychological comfort.
Finally, writing helped me find my greatest interest and let myself play freely in my best field. I think this time should be my happiest and most satisfying time.
Today, I made a reading sharing with a reading enthusiast, and I think it is also an exchange. Although it is inevitable to be nervous, it is more of a happy mood.
Of course, the three books introduced earlier, especially the third one, introduced many excellent strategies to deal with social anxiety. Let's have a look together sometime.
This article is reproduced with the authorization of the author. Author: Sheng
According to the principle of "relying on the old city, developing along the Chuanjiang River and harnessing the whole basin", Yan 'an New District has