At the end of the course, the teacher asked: Who usually takes your son? How much did you bring? Mother bowed her head shyly and said, I don't have much, and he won't listen to me. In fact, I also observed them in this process, not intentionally, but in a classroom. I found that:
No matter how his mother instructed him, the little boy refused to cooperate. **
* * When my mother said the leading word, the language was single, mainly "don't". **
* * Mothers like to interfere with their children's behavior. From beginning to end, she has been intervening, but she seems powerless. **
The little boy is possessive and does not like to share. His mother will force him to share toys or secretly give them to others. When he finds them, he will cry to get them back.
I want to talk about my own thoughts on these situations. Here, we are unreasonable and don't put data. I only said my usual experience, so please be careful.
1. No matter what the mother says, the child won't cooperate with the instructions. One minute I obeyed, and the next minute I continued my behavior. For example, in the process of the teacher's demonstration, the little boy will keep moving, physically and manually, and put the orderly toys around. In short, he won't stop for a minute. /kloc-This happens in 0/00% of families. Children are free at home, and so are classes. Normal behavior is unreasonable to parents, so it must be standardized. The mother in the story did stop it, but it had little effect. I thought at that time that the mother and son might not communicate enough at home, so there was a tacit understanding. The little boy might be controlled a lot at home, so he was curious about everything outside. As a result, when the teacher asked, it really happened.
Effectively avoid
For children's so-called hyperactivity behavior, in fact, parents do not need to intervene in early childhood classes, and teachers will respond to specific situations. Rules should be established, but not in class. You can say it after class. Accusing or interfering with children in person will only be counterproductive, which is a manifestation of parents' anxiety and incompetence. And how can you ask a boy over two years old to sit there in a proper way? It's impossible. Of course, if mother and son communicate well at home, these behaviors will only happen less, but they will not happen.
Reading, doing things, chatting and walking are all effective ways of communication, but the premise is to have a gentle smiling face. Sometimes when I am busy, I don't even know that my face is missing a smile. If I speak a little more carefully, my daughter will say, Mom smiled! Then I found that I smiled and many things were solved. You see, no matter how cold the street shooting is, Bessie and Julie smile gently at the children, because your smile is the most positive response to the children's love for you. Remember, smile more!
2. When mom says the leading word, the language is single, mainly "don't". Mother's opening remarks contain a lot of blocking words, which convey the real intention: don't do it, it's wrong to do it. Mom didn't support you and didn't trust you, so I stopped you. But in fact, we adults all have rebellious psychology, let alone children at this stage. When they don't know more expressions and ways to fight back, they will only do one thing, and that is to continue what they have just been prevented from doing.
I remember reading a book, which advocates positive education and positive guidance, that is, less negative words. I didn't copy all the contents of that book, because in real life, we will inevitably talk about negative words. But I will also pay attention to it myself and try to guide it to develop in a positive direction.
For example, once, my daughter went to the small bathtub in the bathroom to play with water. Under normal circumstances, what would you do? I'm afraid you have to say: don't draw water, you'll get your clothes wet and the ground dirty. Right?
But how did I do it? I will ask: Does the baby like water? Baby wants to play? I said it's ok to have fun. Your little request will be met by your mother. But we have to put on small raincoats so that our stomachs won't get cold, right? At this time, my daughter was already very happy, because her request was answered and she could play. I continued: the baby can also invite your ducklings to play with dolphins, and you can tell your mother after the game. Then put on a waterproof apron for her daughter, connect the water and do your own thing. When she had enough fun, she came to me. I said, is the baby happy? My daughter is always happy to answer. I asked again: Do you want to play next time? The baby naturally replied happily: Yes! I said, that baby, shall we take your toy home together? Come and give them a bath and give our floor a bath. Let them go home clean and delicious? Then, the little guy happily finished everything with me, because she actually played the process again and then went to do what she should do.
Effectively avoid
It is a common problem for children to like to play with water, and I can't stop it. My approach is: if she wants to play, you can't stop her once. Even if you do, you can't play secretly in the future. It is better to let her have enough fun on the premise of ensuring safety, so that everything can be discussed in the future. I take the same approach to similar things, that is, try to guide them positively. As parents, we all have the psychology of eating whatever we want and buying whatever we want, not to mention children. . Satisfied, she is happy, you are happy and win-win; Dissatisfied, he is unhappy, you are unhappy, and both lose. This is just a small matter. Why?
The mother likes to interfere with the child's behavior from beginning to end, but she seems powerless.
For example, the teacher tells stories, and the little boy likes to move around and climb up to see the teacher. Mom will drag him back right away. The child is curious. He was curious about the teacher's speech and expression, so he behaved like that, but his mother obviously didn't find it. She just wants her son to sit down quietly. But for boys and girls, obedience is a terrible thing in my opinion. He is a normal person. He doesn't respond when he sees something curious. Isn't that a fool? Do you really need an honest child that badly? Then I think you should put it back. The mother slowly deprived the child of curiosity and insight without knowing it.
My daughter was there when we were in class together. Instead of moving around, she lay on the ground and stared at the teacher telling stories. I left her alone, because she usually lay at home listening to bedtime stories and enjoyed it, and I didn't interfere with her. This is her freedom. As a result, she listened carefully and was very happy. Is it okay to ask the teacher after class? The teacher thinks there is no problem, because it is to give children a relaxed and free environment.
Effectively avoid * * * *
Give your child a free space, fully respect him and trust him, and you will find that his growth process is amazing. Don't try to control him, ever! **
The little boy is possessive and doesn't like sharing, so his mother will force him to share toys or secretly give them to others. He'll cry when he finds out.
In the fun session, the teacher took out a set of toys hanging monkeys and let the children play by themselves. At this time, the little boy picked up a small plate and put it in front of him to keep other children away. The daughter also wanted to play, so she leaned over to hang a monkey, but the little boy took it away in minutes, so his mother took a monkey to us while he was not paying attention, but the little boy found it and took it back. His mother said she would play for her sister and took another one. The little boy was very anxious and began to cry. My daughter didn't want to give up her monkey, so she clung to it. I was about to speak when the teacher took out a car. My daughter likes cars, so she happily put down the monkey and went to play. There are many cars. I think it's okay for two people to play separately. I want to interrupt here. When I first arrived in the classroom, my daughter went to the window and looked at McDonald's, which used to eat ice cream, with great interest. I walked aside to put my bag away, and suddenly I heard my daughter crying. I'm surprised. I walked over and saw that my daughter's hand was badly bitten by the boy. It turned out that the little boy also wanted to grab the railing, but my daughter didn't get out of the way in time. My heart ached when I looked at the red tooth marks, but the other mother was already apologizing. I have to take care of my daughter for a while, so I left her alone. I held my daughter tightly and stayed with her for a while. To my surprise, my daughter picked up a car, handed it to the little boy, and said, we will exchange, and I will exchange at home. The little boy got on the bus and gave his daughter a little monkey. The two made up. I couldn't help but lift my mouth, and the teacher looked at it and smiled, indicating his approval of this move.
Effectively avoid
In this process, I didn't interfere too much with the interaction between children. Biting was the little boy's fault, but because his mother apologized, the little boy didn't go any further. I wanted to buy time to appease my daughter, so I took a low-key approach. Besides, I'm not surprised that my daughter did this. Because at home, daughters often don't like to share. I usually give her advice and let her choose, but I won't say it again. (Remember: Don't be wordy) The child is also smart, and she will choose the side that is beneficial to her. Even if I don't always agree with you and I choose to respect you, it will mean that I will bear the consequences. So I usually hate a sentence: What do children know? Really, I don't like any child being questioned by such a stupid question. You know, children know much more than we do.
Once I had dessert, the little guy said he wouldn't give it to grandma. I said, baby, do you think this snack is cute, as cute as you? The baby nodded. I strike while the iron is hot, baby. You are so cute. Do you want many people to love you? The baby said hope. I said, this beautiful and lovely snack also hopes that many people love her, so will mom, dad and grandma all love her? Well, speaking of which, I won't go on. The rest is left to the baby to choose. Children are very eager to be loved, and hope that what they like will be loved. So no need to guess, she said, Grandma, come and eat, and treat you to a midnight snack!
Careful you must have found that sometimes there is only one sentence between someone else's angel baby and his own Xiong Haizi. With a little more patience and wisdom, many things can go away.
Smile, patience, wisdom! Which is more important, rules or love? There must be rules and love! Be a loving mother, and you will get a lovely baby!
Share experience
The following sharing is the real dry goods: how to make your baby eat well and eat well! Baby mom, look here.
1. Swing demonstration
In fact, my child has a big problem in eating: every time I worry that she eats too much. When the little guy was born, he was very able to eat and sleep, which was super easy to take. I laughed when someone else's baby fell into my house. The little guy with such a good appetite didn't disappoint me, and he succeeded in growing into a chubby little meat egg. So I always call her Sister Rourou!
In the stage of eating complementary food, meat sister needs to add rice flour and fruit and vegetable puree. But the little guy was not used to the taste of rice noodles at first, and probably felt that it was not as delicious as breast milk, so he resolutely refused to eat it. What about swelling? Well, if I don't eat, I'll take it away decisively. If I don't eat, I will. So I swallowed it in front of her and kept shaking my head and saying, delicious! (delicious p, the taste is so weak, but I personally think that children should learn to adapt to the taste of different foods. I didn't look at her during the eating, but the little guy looked at me and saw that I was eating well, and I couldn't help it. I ate all the bowls! Hum, fight with me! Eat well. So, how important it is to hang up the demonstration!
We don't need a miracle trick, just one trick to win, that's enough! So I was really drunk when I heard that other people's babies picked all the delicious food and didn't eat it! Mom's guidance is very good, why not eat it? The delicious and nutritious avocado was accepted by the fleshy girl, so she finally created this fat girl for fear that she would be too fat to find a boyfriend.
establish/make rules
On the one hand, the baby has a good appetite, on the other hand, it is necessary to establish eating rules. I have only one principle-sit in my seat and eat. Her seat is a small dining chair. Making a dining chair can not only ensure her safety, but also give her a sense of rules: when she is unable to run around, she should obey the rules. I am an independent adult, so I don't care.
There are always children who don't cooperate and don't like being bound, but this is a matter of principle and cannot be compromised. When I was less than one year old, I also had several emotions, and I didn't want to sit or eat. Ok, no, no problem, then we are hungry. Let's tell stories and play with toys, just don't eat until she wants to be in her place. This happened twice when she was about one year old. After she was hungry, she restrained herself a lot when eating.
Eating independently
I have seen too many children who are still nursing in kindergartens and primary schools, so I made up my mind that this is absolutely impossible. Sister Rourou is a curious child, including tools for eating by herself, various spoons and bowls. She likes to play with them on weekdays, and when she eats, she tries to eat. * * She was interested in a small spoon at first, and when she wanted it, I gave her the initiative. **
Many people are afraid that she will drop food, dirty clothes and dirty the ground. However, when the meal falls, it falls. If the clothes are dirty, you can wash them. If the floor is dirty, you can mop it and miss a good chance to eat by yourself. Then you will be affected! People want to free your hand, you go and catch the child. Do you think you are asking for it?
At first, it was common for rice grains to be everywhere from mouth to clothes to dining chairs, but I didn't mind, because I got the result I wanted: the child began to eat by himself at the age of one, until now he is three years old. I won't stand by when I need help, but most of them don't need me. So, hot mom, I can take her out alone.
These three points are very important to me, suitable for pregnant babies and newborn babies. Children who are too old have already formed and should not be practical.
It is said that every family has its own problems. This book in my family is how to make children stop eating so much and grow so fat. So I have been controlling her diet and dare not give her too much meat, alas! Cruel mother! I committed this crime. As a foodie, I am constantly tempted by delicious food, constantly studying and cooking by myself. Braised pork today, handmade noodles tomorrow, steamed stuffed bun with meat the day after tomorrow, mashed potatoes the day after tomorrow, a glass of juice in the morning, a cup of yogurt at noon and a milkshake at night. I want to control my diet, but I can't help eating. It's outrageous! As a result, children often start ordering food without waiting for me: I want to eat mashed potatoes, mom! I want to drink a milkshake! After that, don't forget one sentence: OK? Okay.-Wait!
All right, then! Let's go on the road of eating and losing weight together!