What should I do if I am too anxious after becoming a mother? I have been in a state of anxiety since I became a mother. What should many mothers do if they are too anxious after becoming mothers? Let me look at the relevant information. What should I do if they are too anxious after becoming mothers?

What should I do if I am too anxious after becoming a mother? 1 Symptom 1: Wake up at night and be habitually vigilant.

I haven't slept since I had a baby.

Wake up automatically every night, and the biological clock is accurate to the alarm clock. If you are hungry, you should feed him, see if he has covered and kicked the quilt, and feel if he is sweating or uncomfortable. ...

Is the person who is said to be "asleep, even if I am taken away by others, I won't know"? I don't even remember what it was like when I wasn't a mother!

Now even if the baby hums gently in his sleep, I will wake up immediately, reach out and touch him and pat him!

Symptom 2: I am particularly "smelly" thinking about how my baby will wear it tomorrow.

It's not my clothes piled up in the closet at home. Most of the "Jiangshan" I used to occupy has now been completely occupied by baby clothes!

I can't help it! What a handsome little suit! Sports clothes are good, too, and sweaters are super temperament. Which color should I choose? Do you want to wear a hat? God, there are so many hats. Which one should I wear?

How should the baby wear it tomorrow? How can it be so difficult to choose! It looks good no matter how you wear it! What do you think! I just want to hug and kiss. What should I do? ! Wow, even the little face that is asleep at the moment is so beautiful! Give me a kiss before you think!

Symptom 3: The baby becomes a mother's carnival after falling asleep.

The baby finally fell asleep! The baby finally fell asleep! The baby finally fell asleep! Almost to tears, the whole family to celebrate. I believe that every sleeping mother has such a voice in her heart!

The baby is asleep, and the mother is very excited!

Do what you like? Reading? Looking through your phone? Talk about the play for a while? God, happiness is hard to come by, so cherish it!

This is even more exciting! Even if I lie in bed, I can't sleep over and over again. I think about the baby's big and small things in turn, and then look at his sleeping face. Inadvertently, it was dawn!

Which mother hasn't experienced tossing and turning from night to day? Watching the skylight change different colors with the hourglass of time, that indescribable feeling can only be better understood after experience!

Symptom 4: Don't get sick, even minor illnesses will be urgent.

When you become a mother, the last thing you want to see is that your baby is sick. Even more stressful than being sick!

Don't dare to sleep all night, take your temperature once every half hour; The baby coughs, and the mother wants three shocks! Run to the hospital at every turn, for fear that you can't take care of the wronged baby!

Do you have the spirit to carefully observe the baby's every move? How was the food? I have to take the trouble to bury my head in the diaper to see if it stinks normally. Is the urine output large? More importantly, we must restrain our inner fears, and there are always all kinds of inexplicable worries!

Even a gentleman with a good temper can't help but say that when my baby was ill, I was in a state of first-class combat readiness, with zero IQ in my mind and no direction at all.

He didn't know that there was no way to be a mother in his heart. I know everything except my nervousness and fear!

Symptom 5: How can my mind be full of other people's children? "

After having a baby, mothers will involuntarily pay attention to all aspects of the baby, and the baby is also a bridge between mothers!

But when there is communication, there is comparison: other people's babies can walk, why can't my baby crawl? Other people's babies can talk, why is my baby still babbling? ...

I will also compare Bauer with Dabao: Dabao can recite poems at this time, why can't Bauer speak complete sentences? Dabao can climb at this age, but Bauer still likes to move. ...

As long as the baby is slow, the mother is anxious not to want it. It is full of "other people's children", so don't worry about how to help her baby grow up better!

Symptom 6: Bauer, in particular, is more likely to take excessive preventive measures.

I remember reading a joke that a father's birthday gift to a one-year-old baby was a countdown card, which said how many days left before the college entrance examination (I forgot the exact number)!

Although not so exaggerated, since I was born, I have been looking forward to looking up, sitting, climbing, walking, speaking fluently and pronouncing clearly every day. Do you want to go to early education? Do you want to make an appointment for kindergarten in advance? Do you want to look ahead? Learn math? Do you want to register in advance for interest classes? Wait, wait, wait ...

When I was in kindergarten, I was young, young, early and early. How dare you catch your breath? Never let your baby lose at the starting line!

Symptom 7: I have seen more and more parenting knowledge, and I have different opinions, but everyone seems to have a point.

After becoming a mother, I pay more attention to the study of various parenting theories and the analysis of expert opinions than when I was admitted to college. How to cultivate the baby's visual development, auditory nerve and brain growth, and how to help him? Does the baby wear diapers? How many disadvantages does it have to urinate for the baby? How to successfully pass the baby's first rebellious period? How to be a smart mother who doesn't fight, scold, shout or scream? ……

After reading the theory thoroughly, I found that in fact, many situations of my baby are not like this! What should we do?

BLACKPINK, a "veteran" around me, appeared: it seems quite right for girlfriends to tell the truth; Parents' experiences are profound, memories are vivid, and it sounds reasonable; There are also various opinions of true experts and pseudo-experts, which sounds very rewarding. ...

What about swelling? The more "parenting knowledge" accumulates, the more confused it becomes, and I don't know how to take care of my baby!

Among the seven symptoms of anxiety after becoming a mother, how many have you won as a mother?

Of course, if the mother has just given birth to a baby and is in all kinds of anxiety, don't worry too much. This is the hormone in the body "getting angry"! As long as you do a good job of self-regulation and emotional management, you can restore your good mood in minutes!

In short, it is not easy to be a mother. Do it and cherish it! Relax your mind, and you will be able to appreciate all kinds of beauty that life brings you! Happy holidays to mothers!

What should I do if I am too anxious after becoming a mother? 2 A mother's anxiety: "The child is rebellious and disobedient."

Before most mothers ask questions, they should make a foreshadowing: my child is fine most of the time, but there is a small problem ... but mother A's appearance style is that my son has many problems.

This is what she said: my child is always angry, disobedient and uncooperative ... so the mother has no choice but to hit him; Being a father is more direct. Let's just say that this child will be "scrapped and rebuilt."

At this point, she looked helpless: although she also knew that she should be equal, respectful and good at listening to her children, her husband was violent and he could not calm down and communicate with his son. When he is in a hurry, he will use the phone to solve the problem.

The mothers at the scene were anxious: how can you teach your children like this? Obviously, it is not the child who should be scrapped, but your husband!

Although she is aware that there is something wrong with this practice, in her mind, corporal punishment is just a bit "not very good", and children should be beaten if they don't obey.

In the face of her problems, I can only suggest that no child is born obedient and the problems are "typed". If parents can't face up to their own problems, it is impossible to educate their children.

B, C mother's anxiety: "What if the child is not good enough?"

If mothers also have KPI, these two mothers are absolutely "excellent".

B mother has high standards and strict requirements for herself in fitness, work and parenting; C mother began to learn various theories when she was pregnant, and was determined to read all the parenting books before the child was half a year old.

However, both practical mother B and theoretical mother C are anxious.

Mother B said: My son is very sensible and capable in kindergarten. Why does he do all kinds of work as soon as he comes home, or is he like a child?

Mother C is so anxious that her son doesn't know what to do with a meal: "You see that he always eats so little", "Nutrition can't keep up with his resistance" and "Why is it so worrying" ...

Suddenly, everyone felt a little wronged for their children: they were still babies!

Actually, the children are fine. The problem is that they pay too much attention to children!

There is an idiom called "one leaf is blind". Children's problems are like leaves in front of them. If you just stare at them, even the smallest shortcomings will be infinitely magnified. Take this leaf away, and you will find that this flawed leaf is so insignificant compared with the lush young trees.

I suggest that mother B calm down and give her children more time and patience. For mother C, I told her to slow down and start the yoga she gave up for her children.

Patience and peace, being yourself, will set a good example for children-what is more meaningful to children than a mother full of positive energy?

D mother's anxiety: "am I a good mother?"

What makes mother D doubt herself is that the child is too "Buddha".

No matter who comes home, they can have fun together. When I say goodbye, I am also calm and calm.

Even when they go out to work, the children are happy to wave goodbye to their mother.

She was very upset about this: I heard that other people's mothers went out and the children were crying and holding their thighs. Why are their children and everyone so heartless? Don't I have my children with me?

In fact, many people understood at that time: this is obviously a good phenomenon and makes children feel safe enough ~

I told her: The more secure the child is, the better the parent-child attachment is, and the more free he should be. The more stable the parent-child relationship, the more calm the child should be. He shouldn't mean that I love my mother very much. I can't live without her all the time. This is wrong.

So, actually, you're fine.

Whether it's a little rough mother, BC mother who takes care of her children with a magnifying glass, or D mother who everyone thinks her children are well taken care of, they are very anxious about the identity of "mother".

Do you see yourself more or less in these four mothers?

In fact, I always have this or that worry:

Have I done enough for my children? Is it good enough for him?

I am too tired to get up at work, and I feel sorry that I can't prepare breakfast for my children. The child sneezed twice and blamed himself for being careless during the day and forgetting to bring him more clothes when he went out.

External standards, self-evaluation, children's reaction ... any little thing can make a mother wring her hand.

How can we get rid of this anxiety? In my opinion, the fundamental reason is to realize that mothers are far more important to their children than clothing, food, shelter and transportation and providing good material conditions.

For example, the day before, when I was so tired that I collapsed, when the sticky rice cake was about to explode, I tried to restrain myself from calming down: I was worried about what my child would eat and wear, what school my child would go to in the future, and gave him a better living environment. Is this what children want? Is this what a good mother can do?

So I switched myself to the child's perspective and found that his clingy person was actually saying: Mom, please put down your endless work and housework and listen to me, come to see me and accompany me.

Then I patiently played with him for 30 minutes, and I got a clever and sensible child all day.

This incident touched me a lot: everyone thinks that a good mother should take good care of her children's food and drink and tidy up her home. But for children, besides physical needs, there are many higher-level needs to be met: he is also eager to be listened to, to be communicated equally, to make his own decisions, and to be understood.

When we stop worrying about eating and drinking Lazarus and providing supplies, we will find that children need a gentler mother to see him, a calmer mother to accept him and a more active mother to lead him.

In other words, we have to reach a settlement with ourselves in order to harvest better children.

Therefore, the advice given to the four mothers is actually the advice given by the cake mother to herself.

-Face up to yourself, find yourself and affirm yourself.

Therefore, this speech sharing parenting experience with you is really touching and emotional in the end. Because I see everyone is so desperate to be a good mother that they forget themselves-that's why mothers are always so easy to fall into anxiety and self-doubt.

And what I want to tell you loudly is: don't forget at any time, take care of yourself first.

When you read this article carefully, learn parenting knowledge and make yourself better, you are already the best mother!

What should I do if I am too anxious after becoming a mother? How to change mom's anxious personality?

First of all, the so-called "TIC disorder"

A mother asked me for advice many times because she suspected her 6-year-old child had TIC disorder. I recommended my blog post to her: Repressing children is the bane of TIC disorder. However, these consultations were simple conversations. Although I saw that my mother was in such a hurry, I also seriously replied. But after all, communication is not deep, and my mother's confusion has not been completely solved. So I suggested formal consultation and in-depth communication, which really helped, and my mother agreed.

In fact, the child has only one symptom of clearing his throat. One symptom of TIC disorder is clearing the throat, but the symptom of clearing the throat cannot be diagnosed as TIC disorder. I told her a few times ago that even TIC disorder is nothing, just a habitual vent of anxiety and tension. I have some "symptoms" myself, which seem a bit strange at best. Because some articles on the Internet made Tourette's disease terrible, she was very anxious at first. After listening to my analysis, she relaxed a lot The child cleared his throat, and she didn't care much. But he said, "As a mother, I am still afraid that if I go to school in September, her symptoms will get worse. The child's environment has changed, and he can't adapt. He is under great pressure and his symptoms are getting worse. What is the symptom of blinking and nodding, that is, I don't put pressure on my children. The other children saw it and laughed at her. What should I do? "These words make me feel that my mother seems a little anxious.

Second, where does the child's anxiety come from?

Because the most important psychological basis of TIC disorder is tension and anxiety. So, my mother and I discussed some possible sources. Mom says I am tolerant of children. We have been discussing it since the child was very young, whether we understand it or not. In this way, there may be no problem of suppressing children. Mom also mentioned that harmonious family relations also reduce the sources of tension and anxiety. Children are usually less nervous and anxious. Although they are afraid of something, it is normal. In fact, if there is no tension and anxiety, TIC disorder is mild.

Later in the conversation, I found that my mother's personality is easy to be nervous and anxious. She said, "Do you think children have anything to do with my usual anxiety? Is my anxiety subtly affecting her? " . I think my mind is not strong enough, I think a lot about everything, I am always worried about the result that didn't happen, and I am very meticulous and anxious. I can't change some of these things, as if they have become my mode of thinking. "This is actually a fundamental problem.

Mother's own mood is uneven and anxious, which will affect her children in many ways.

1, emotions are directly "infected". For example, my mother said, "My child is sick. Every time my child comes into contact with allergens, I am very nervous and scared. " This kind of tension will naturally be felt by children, and it will be more or less nervous. If this happens more frequently, children will feel nervous about similar situations. In fact, whether parents naturally show tension or relaxation will give their children a direct demonstration.

2. The influence of cognitive habits

Mother "thinks a lot, always worrying about the result that didn't happen", and this habitual thinking mode will be gradually learned by children. This is naturally an anxious mode of thinking. For example, my mother said, "The child mentioned the earthquake in Japan to me more than once before going to bed: Mom, why is there an earthquake?" Mom, can we go out of the house after the earthquake? Mom, what if the earthquake door is broken? Mom, if there is an earthquake, will it be said on TV? "It's a bit like a mother's mode of thinking. Instead, I often say to my daughter: These are nothing, what's the big deal? ! ; Who cares? These have also become my daughter's mantra, so she is more calm.

In fact, these cognitive thinking habits are not inherited. If children are exposed to more in life, they may learn. Third, how to change the anxious personality

My mother pays too much attention to her children now. She said: "Really, the more I look at them, the more I think the children are abnormal. These days, I always seriously think about what sound the child's nose makes. " In fact, this is a natural reaction in an anxious situation, and the emotional law-the more anxious, the easier it is to pay attention to those worried things. Therefore, when you are anxious, you'd better take the form of going out for a walk. And directly divert attention to relieve anxiety. If you are calm, you will pay less attention. But this is only a stopgap measure-although it is also necessary. Therefore, the key to the problem is to change mom's anxious personality. As long as the mother changes, it will have a good influence on the child's mood and thinking mode. If the mother becomes calm, the child will naturally be calm. Less anxiety. To say the least, even convulsions are naturally less and less, so don't worry about getting worse.

So can this personality change? Didn't you say that a leopard cannot change his spots?

Personality is not unchangeable, but it is difficult for many people to change. Why is it difficult to change? Because you don't know how to change. It's like it's too difficult to push open a locked door without a key. Cognitive therapy is the key to changing personality.

Mother said, "I'm afraid of everything about children." Now the child has been clearing his throat. I am really trying to be strong, but I am afraid. "

Actually, being strong is not what you want to do. How to be really strong now-using cognitive therapy to change ... I talked about this problem. I also recommended one of my blog posts to my mother: learn three kinds of thinking, and children will face setbacks calmly. She has read this blog post before, and she said that she likes the idea of "doing what I can and letting nature take its course" advocated by me. She always thinks of this sentence when the child has something to do.