First, boys are allowed to cry.
In the eyes of traditional parents in China, men are the pillars of the family, and boys will support a family in the future, so boys are required to be brave and strong from an early age. Isn't there a saying that men bleed without tears? That's how we were taught when we were young. Of course, I'm a girl, I don't ask for it, but my brother is often scolded like this by my father. My younger brother seldom cried, so he was scolded by his father, and he soon admitted his mistake. When he grew up, he became a little timid. Nowadays, many early education books, including psychology, all say that boys are children except gender. When children are hurt, wronged or afraid, crying is a way of venting, a kind of emotional release. Don't let the child cry, in fact, let him suppress his emotions and prevent him from releasing them. I think it makes sense. Boys are also children. Why not let the boy cry? I really appreciate that sentence: true courage is to walk forward with fear, not to deny your own fear (the last half sentence was added by myself)
Second, let the children make their own decisions.
When I buy toys for my children, when I buy clothes, and even when I attend training classes, I will ask his advice.
Once I was playing outside, a little boy came to me and told me that he wanted to play with his brother's toys. I will point to Xiong Haizi and tell him that this toy belongs to my little brother and you need to discuss it with him. If he agrees, he will give it to you.
That boy asked me: What if my little brother doesn't agree? I said: Then discuss it with him several times.
After a while, Xiong Haizi ran over and asked me, mom. That little brother wants to borrow my toy to play with,
I replied, oh, what did you say to him?
Xiong Haizi asked: Can I not lend it to him? I said with a smile, it's up to you to handle your toys. You can borrow it or not, but mom has a suggestion. Do you want to refer to it?
Xiong Haizi nodded. I told him that if he traded toys for his little brother, he and his little brother could each play with two kinds of toys. If he doesn't lend them, he and his little brother can only play with their own toys. After that, I didn't say whether to let him borrow it or not. He ran to find the child himself.
This incident is an example because when Xiong Haizi was more than four years old, his grandmother once took him out to play. A little boy took a fancy to his Altman and wanted to play. His parents asked his grandmother to borrow it, but Xiong Haizi refused. Then grandma thought it wouldn't embarrass other adults, so she gave them toys to play with for a while. As a result, Xiong Haizi cried for a long time Grandma said that children are stingy and don't borrow anything.
Grandma's practice is obviously the practice of the previous generation. I think when the child has a sense of belonging at this time, these things should be left to him to make his own decisions.
Third, respect children's interests and guide them.
Why I mention this may have something to do with my own experience. Influenced by my father, I liked reading when I was a child, but my father refused to read those books because he thought they were not helpful to the exam. Coupled with economic reasons, my parents' ability is limited, so I don't have any hobbies or likes except reading, but I like reading because there is really nothing else to do. So I always hope that children can have a long-term interest or hobby.
Xiong Haizi likes Altman very much, so I bought him Altman's handicrafts, cards, books and so on. Although I don't think Altman's modeling is aesthetic, I won't say that I don't want him to play because I don't like him. Xiong Haizi likes building blocks, so I bought all kinds of building blocks to play with him. So, I am impatient because I have been making it by hand, and I can spend the whole morning with him to be a Transformers. Children are crazy about Transformers, and I will look for related movies, comics or books.
My understanding is that since children like to do it, it must be this thing or something that can bring him fun. Why stop him?
For a time, I was obsessed with all kinds of engineering vehicles, excavators, bulldozers, cement mixers and so on. To tell you the truth, I was very depressed at that time. Is this a precursor to going to Lan Xiang Technical School? I'm not looking down on Lan Xiang Technical School, nor am I looking down on the master who drives these engineering vehicles. It's really that everyone else is drying the piano, art and so on, but my baby is like this. It is false to say that there is no psychological gap. Every time I see this kind of car on the road, I scream in surprise. I endured the loss in my heart, told him the purpose of these cars and bought sticker books. . This enthusiasm lasted for half a year and was replaced by various building blocks.
Fourth, pay attention to children's mental health.
Many people say that when we were young, our parents seemed to care only about whether we had enough to eat and wear warm clothes and how our academic performance was, and nothing else. Haven't we grown up healthily? How can I put it? The times are changing and the social environment is changing. A child's mental health is far more important than his body.
The above points are some of my feelings. As a mother, I am an ordinary person, so I never thought about how much my children will achieve in the future. I just hope he can live happily in a short life, that's all.