Mothers can be seen everywhere with wrinkled brows and helpless shrugs. They complained helplessly: "Such a disobedient child is getting angry with him …" Why not try to be an angry mother? Why do you want to jump up and down with anger and lose your manners? Don't forget, enjoying being a mother is the only reason we have children! Giving birth to a child is definitely not a task of life, but a kind of enjoyment. It is hard to imagine that someone will find happiness in the role of being a father or a mother if he just regards having a baby as a task that he has to complete in his life, or if he is not prepared to accompany the child to grow up slowly from the bottom of his heart. Mothers want to accompany their children to grow up, enjoy unlimited fun, and be an angry mom and dad. Let's start practicing now! First of all, mothers should understand that in fact, in order to be an angry mother, it is easy for mothers to enjoy their reasons for not being angry! The first part: the principle that mother is not angry. Mothers often get angry because they often can't control their impatience and anxiety easily. The causes of children's problems are mostly psychological. In the process of accompanying children to grow up, if mothers can gain insight into their children's psychology, communicate with their children happily, change themselves a little every day and accept their children a little, I believe mothers will become happier and happier! Mother's principle of not being angry: accept the rain of children. Mother said: Now, Xiaoyu will loudly announce to her mother: "No!" " "Don't!" "no!" Mother took Yu Yu to the playground. When it was time for dinner, Yu Yu refused to follow her mother home. I coaxed him, but he ignored me and said, "Don't go home! Must fight! " Finally, I was in a hurry and dragged him away. He just lay on the ground, crying and screaming. I felt humiliated, angry and desperate: "How old are you? I can't handle you! " "Almost all parents want their children to obey them happily. It is difficult for many parents to accept their children's challenge to their authority, and it is also difficult to resist the impulse to discipline and subdue their children with high pressure. In fact, this is all about not accepting children's performance. In the process of understanding the world, children will do many actions that make adults incredible. What we need to do is to see the world through children's eyes, realize that their actions have reasonable logic, and accept them with our wisdom and love, instead of forcing them to accept our views. Accepting a child will look at the child's problems from the child's point of view. Fully accepting a child means that the mother will try to look at the problem from the perspective of the child, and will not think that the child will be good or bad just because the child is different from others. Duoduo looks introverted. I took him to contact other children in the community every day since I was a child, but he never dared to play with other children. When children walk around, they will walk away in fear or cry for a hug. Others dare not get his toys back, and he dare not pick them up when they return them. Usually walking by yourself will avoid areas with many children. I once attended an early education class and cried every time I attended class, so I had to "drop out". From 8 months to 1 year old, I like to play with things like circles, toss and turn, throw and pick up, over and over again. There was a time when I was crazy about bottle caps. I slept with bottle caps. I feel uneasy without a bottle cap. I especially like balloons now, but I just throw and pick them up. Duoduo's mother thinks, is Duoduo insecure? Actually, many children are more shy and timid. Compared with extroverted children, such children are quieter, prefer to be alone, unwilling to participate in group activities, more alert to others, more likely to feel threatened, more likely to show fear, and so on. However, these do not mean that they are inferior to others. Mom should understand that every child is an angel. Since God has given you such a child, a child who looks weaker than other children, you should let nature take its course. He is unique. He needs your acceptance and protection, instead of focusing on his "problems" and always trying to correct him. So you also need to relax, accept, love, raise your child well, and satisfy him according to his unique needs and unique growth trajectory. Mothers who accept their children will not easily deny them. Parents will certainly be unhappy if their children get into trouble carelessly. We often hear such a reproach: "You broke the cup again! How many times have I told you, the cup can't be placed in such a biased place, why can't you listen? This is stupid! "It is necessary for parents to teach their children to break cups, but what parents should teach them is not to tell them: You are really stupid-and not just stupid! At this time, what parents need to say is that the cup should be put inside to avoid being broken. Different reasons will lead to different results. When children grow up, mistakes are inevitable. Parents have the responsibility to point out their children's mistakes in time and encourage and urge them to correct them, but always remember that excessive blame is meaningless, especially the denial of the children themselves. The title of "fool" and "idiot" will be like a sword, which will be stuck in the child's heart. Mom is not angry. Principle 2: Don't let worry and love turn into anger. Meng Xiao's mother said: The ball wanted to hit Meng Xiao's pig and reached for it. Meng Xiao turned and patted the ball: "No! Don't move! " Ball ball burst into tears. I criticized Meng Xiao angrily: "How did you become so selfish? "Still hitting people?" I took the pig in Meng Xiao's hand and wanted to give it to the ball. Unexpectedly, Meng Xiao fought with me mercilessly and burst into tears: "Oh, it's from Meng Xiao, so I won't give the ball!" Unable to catch me, Meng Xiaoshen hit me with a few punches: "smelly mother!" " "I was even more angry, thinking: The bigger Meng Xiao is, how can it be more stingy? But how has it become more and more embarrassing for me recently? Will she become more and more overbearing? This is impossible in the future, so I severely criticized Meng Xiao. In fact, for a toddler of two or three years old, "selfishness" is a normal phenomenon, even the only way to "share". First of all, toddlers are building up their self-awareness and moving towards independence. At this stage, children are establishing the concept of "ownership": me, my things, my things. In the eyes of such a big child, everything is "mine". I didn't realize that others also had this "mine" view, and I didn't understand why I should share it with others. Secondly, they haven't mastered the concepts of "borrowing" and "returning", and they don't know that the borrowed items can be returned to Zhao intact, but they unilaterally think that once they leave their hands, they will be lost. But the mother's love and worry about Meng Xiao turned into anger and blame, which left a shadow on Meng Xiaoyou's young mind. People who need to actively express and carefully observe their mother's love and worry can easily find that their parents' "anger" is actually just a "mask" and "coat" most of the time. Why do you say that? Let's look at an example to understand: Xiao Bai went to the river with his classmates after school today. Maybe the river is so interesting that several children didn't go home until dark. My mother, who had been waiting at the door for three hours, saw Xiaobai from a distance and rushed at her like crazy, sharply reprimanding: "Do you know that you are back? Don't come in today! Anyway, I won't come back if I have a home! " Is this really what Xiaobai's mother wants to say? No, actually, when she saw her son coming back, she was happy at first, but her previous worries and anxieties accumulated a lot of "qi" in her heart, which is why she broke out in the form of "qi" at that moment! And the child must be very angry when he hears his mother scold him like this, because it is difficult for him to understand that the reason why his mother scolds himself is because he cares about himself? What would happen if Xiaobai's mother changed her expression and told her children how she really felt? "Small white, it is wrong for you to come home so late. My mother loves you, so I am very, very worried about you. I've been standing here waiting for you for three hours, and I'm afraid something will happen to you. I'm relieved to see you come back safely. But I hope you won't do it again, understand? " If the mother does not let worry and love turn into "anger", but objectively describes her psychological feelings to the child, the child can at least understand two meanings from her mother's words: First, it is wrong for me to come back late, and her mother is very worried about me; Second, my mother really loves me (otherwise she wouldn't have stood at the door waiting for me for three hours). In the same way, parents can not only reduce the chances of being angry with themselves and their children, but also convince their children of their mistakes. Love, let the child know that "this child makes me so sad." I love him so much and do him good, but he is so angry with me! " "Do you often hear parents complain like this? Many mothers think that they have given their children the most selfless love, but the children are ungrateful. Why can't a mother's "love" reach her daughter's heart? I think this is because mothers don't respect their children enough-they don't respect their age and their rights. In the final analysis, the mother's anger and complaint is that she didn't treat her children equally, didn't care about and pay attention to her feelings, and just imposed a so-called "love" on her children with her own strength and for granted, but in fact, the children didn't get her love at all. Because it is difficult for children to understand their mother's logic: the reason why mother won't let you play and forces you to do things you don't want to do is because she loves you. Love your child and let her know! Send the message of love in all possible ways! Praise him sincerely, pat him gently, look him in the eyes when you speak, listen to his thoughts, give him correct guidance, respect him on any occasion, measure his position and pressure like a child, and help him peel off the rice stuck in his mouth with gentle hands instead of saying "you are so careless in eating"-this is the love that can make children feel. This magazine specially plans and collects classic cases for you, teaching you to face children with different personalities in different situations and occasions, so as to face them calmly and not be angry and arrogant!