If you want your child to be a person with high emotional intelligence, you must first learn to speak. This is not a simple word pronunciation, but saying the right words at the right time. It can be said that speaking has become a hard skill, but often many parents can't even talk to their children. Even if you have the heart to talk to them, you will eventually become a full-time chat. Sadly, this is exactly what most families in China do? Common diseases? .
When I was a child, my father was always busy with work and had little time to accompany us, let alone chat together. I clearly remember that one day, my father had a rare rest, sat next to me and asked me how I was doing.
How have you been studying recently? ?
Not bad?
What about life? ?
Not bad?
So what's the problem recently? ?
Don't! ?
After a short silence, my father got up silently and went back to my room, leaving me with a blank face. In the evening, I talked to my mother about it quietly. My mother hates iron and tells me that my father thinks he is too unfamiliar with me and wants to enhance his feelings with me. Who knew he died chatting with me?
In fact, dad is just the epitome of most families. Many parents say they don't want to chat with their children, but they don't know how to chat with them. But what they don't know is that if they want their children to be better, they must talk to them more. Don't believe it? As early as 1995, American scholars did this experiment:
The research team conducted a two-year observation experiment in 42 families, and finally came to the conclusion that children with large vocabulary have better academic performance. Therefore, a large number of parents enroll their children in various initiation classes and early education classes, just to let them find themselves better, just to prevent them from losing at the starting line.
Until a few years ago, MIT research found differences. They found that the key to children's brain development is not vocabulary, but the way parents communicate with their children. In other words, reading is not the key! Researchers say that parent-child conversation can not only promote the relationship between parents and children, but also help improve children's social skills. Therefore, parents must chat with their children more often and correctly.
Parents should interact effectively with their children. To tell the truth, chatting like dad is better than nothing, because I was in a panic for a long time before my mother came home. I thought I had done something wrong. What is behind my father's superficial chat? Testing? Me. Therefore, the key to effective chat is to establish a good family atmosphere, and then parents should learn to chat with their children skillfully.
Try to get the child to talk with rhetorical questions. When children ask questions, parents should not answer them directly, but provide clues for thinking. Through correct guidance and inspiration, children's thinking can be dispersed and they can discover more. Just like playing badminton, parents don't end the game early with a spike, but have clever ways to play several rounds.
Besides, the emotional ability of * * * is very important for talking. It can identify people's emotions, put themselves in their shoes, make a warm and rational response, and correctly express: I know your current emotions, why do I have such emotions, and what can I do to eliminate them. Three simple sentences are the key to dealing with interpersonal relationships.
The best education is not for parents to tell their children to do it, but to listen to each other and talk to each other in life. Family members support and respect each other. The affection between parents and children is not to make themselves the most important person for children, but to make children more humane and better people.