It's really thankless, and there's no way out, or you'll be persuaded or even threatened by all kinds of persuasion, and you won't be given a pension without a baby.
I have a relative who has been widowed since he was 40 years old. A woman finally raised three children, worked hard all her life and fell ill. She just wanted to be alone, but her son left her nine-month-old child.
She had no choice but to take care of her grandson alone until 16 years old, but was unexpectedly rejected by her son and daughter-in-law.
Now that her son's second child is born, her health is even worse. She really didn't want to take it, and she was disgusted and scared. But her daughter-in-law asked her to take the baby to the city where they work, otherwise she would not be given a pension.
Without any economic income in her later years, she had to go to Guangdong with tears in her eyes to bring her son a baby.
For us young people, Guangdong is a lively place full of opportunities, but for elderly relatives who can't speak Mandarin well, it is an island far from home. She often cries secretly and lives like a year. .......
Most people don't want to take care of their grandchildren when they are old, and they don't want to be threatened by "no baby and no pension".
To avoid such a life in the future, please do it now:
First, we should cultivate children's independent ability from an early age.
In fact, letting parents take care of their children is also an "old" performance. The child is your own, and the state does not stipulate that grandparents have the responsibility and obligation to take care of their grandchildren.
In order to avoid this "gnawing at the old", we can gradually cultivate children's independent ability from one year old to three years old. Children in this period are curious about everything, always like to imitate adults, and even exclude their parents from helping.
We can just use this time to let our children do what they can independently.
This can not only cultivate children's independent ability, but also exercise their hand-eye coordination ability and promote the development of muscles and brains.
In the process of children's efforts, our parents must not overprotect or take care of them, but we can help them in the following three ways.
1, create a good environment for children
In order to let children do more things without endangering his safety, we can buy some items suitable for children, such as children's desks, children's scissors, children's knives and forks, etc.
Parents must be patient.
When a child starts to do something, it must be very clumsy. Even if it is not done well, our parents need to spend more time cleaning it up, but we must not stop the child from trying for his own convenience.
We can teach children to do it slowly and teach them how to do it. Even if the child doesn't do well at first, we shouldn't rush to correct or blame him.
The growth of children is not a day or two. We must have enough patience and determination to let go. One day, you will be surprised to find that children will do more and more things.
3, be sure not to be demanding results.
Children who have just learned to do things will definitely have unsatisfactory results. Don't look at the results, pay more attention to their efforts and progress in this process, affirm and encourage them in time, and give them the motivation to move on.
Moreover, encouraging children to do their own things when they are young is not what we really want. We mainly cultivate children's enthusiasm and interest in doing things. Only by maintaining this enthusiasm and interest will he actively complete what he should do at every age in the future, and an independent and responsible child will be cultivated.
When he is an adult, he will naturally know that taking care of children is his own business, he will have the enthusiasm and interest in taking care of children, and he will also know that taking care of children is his responsibility as a parent.
Some people say that parents who never teach their children independence are the most ignorant and cruel. They are like eagles. They don't teach their young eagles to fly, but they push them off the cliff as adults.
Educator Mr. Chen Heqin once said: "Children should be allowed to do whatever they can do by themselves. 」
Second, cultivate your own good attitude.
A good attitude can make you optimistic and open-minded; A good attitude makes you fearless; A good attitude can make you live a truly happy life regardless of fame and fortune.
Therefore, having a positive attitude can not only help us keep healthy and gain wealth, but also make us have a happy soul.
Third, we must take good care of our children.
The power of example is very strong, and children had better bring it by themselves.
Although there are many difficulties in doing this, as long as you actively solve the problem, the solution will always be more than the difficulties.
Yin Jianli, the author of A Good Mother Is Better than a Good Teacher, once took her one-year-old daughter to work alone.
She said: "It is dereliction of duty not to take care of your children. 」
Although this process is very hard, you can feel the surprise of your child's progress every day, and your child will be particularly close to you. Early education is relatively better than the elderly, and parenting methods are more scientific. There are no bad habits formed by generations.
The most important thing is to set a strong example for children. I can overcome the difficulties and raise you by myself. After having children, you can do the same.
Fourth, prepare for your old age in advance.
Where there is an economy, there is a right to speak. Although many old people don't want to take care of their children, they have no financial resources in their later years. If you don't take care of the children, the children will have to hire a nanny, or one of them will have to take care of the children full-time for several years, and the income will be reduced. As a family, they can't bear it.
If you have financial conditions in your later years, you can avoid being threatened by your daughter-in-law.
If the economic conditions are good, you can also be generous, ask your daughter-in-law for a new month, ask a nanny to take care of the baby or pay the daughter-in-law to take care of the baby herself.
Therefore, when you are young, you must make financial preparations in advance. If you don't have much money, you don't need to give a lot of aid when your child gets married. If you give it, the child will take it back to raise you, and you may not be so happy.
Everyone has the ability and desire to survive. As long as you cultivate your independence from an early age, children are generally embarrassed to ask for your hard-earned pension money.
Maybe if you don't take good care of your children's grandchildren, they will have some negative comments or ideas about you, but as long as we have a good attitude, all this is not a problem. Why can't you live a leisurely and comfortable life after working hard all your life?
To say the least, if we don't want to take care of our children's grandchildren, the first one is bad for our grandchildren, and such an environment and mentality are not conducive to his growth. The second one is not good for your health. Long-term depression may lead to illness, which will not only help children, but also drag them down.
Therefore, I think that the greatest favor parents give their children in their later years is actually an optimistic and healthy life, and passing on full positive energy to their children and grandchildren. ?