On the surface, whether to have a second child is a family choice, but in fact, it is not only related to the healthy growth of children, but also to the harmony and stability of society to a certain extent, with far-reaching influence and significance. Therefore, the author has sorted out some reference points from several common angles, hoping that parents will seriously consider, fully study and weigh the pros and cons before making a choice to protect the flowers of the motherland.
First, who decides life and death? Every family must first make it clear that only husband and wife have the right to decide everything about fertility and children's education, and no one else has the right to control or force it.
Life is between husband and wife and children.
The man marries his daughter-in-law, not his in-laws; The hostess married her husband, not her parents-in-law.
The most important thing is that having one more child will double the time, energy and expenses. Who will help share these? Even if it is agreed to share, people will change, and finally they can only bear it themselves.
Therefore, there is no need to dwell on the opinions of the elderly, relatives and others around. To do this, it will be clear when considering the problem.
Second, how necessary is it for children to have a companion? It is often said that two children have a companion with each other, and the children are not alone. Many families use this as a reason to have a second child and mobilize.
In fact, from the perspective of children's growth and development, what children need most when they are young is the sense of security brought by their parents' companionship and care. This can't be replaced by anyone, but it is the most easily overlooked. It is not very important to have brothers and sisters as companions.
Moreover, adults take their children out to play, and when children go to kindergarten, they will naturally have playmates who have a good relationship with them.
Too many families, after giving birth to a second child, have to sacrifice their time with their children to find a way out of their lives, which is not worth the candle.
Can the two children take care of each other in the future? Others will say that many children can take care of each other in the future.
It's too early to say this when children are young.
Being close as a child doesn't mean being close forever. After the children get married, they are old and young. Faced with heavy pressure, their own lives are struggling to maintain. How can they take care of each other? They are all self-reliant, and even if they want to take care of each other, they still have insufficient spare capacity.
Maybe one of them will have a better financial condition, but people will change, and it is unknown whether they will immediately think about helping their brothers and sisters when they have money.
And when I was young, at home, under the supervision of parents, the feelings between children were relatively pure. When I grow up, when I earn money to support my family, no one can predict what I will become in the face of various interests.
I was born in an ordinary family in the city. Over the years, I have encountered all kinds of difficulties at home, even to the point where I have to worry about food and clothing. My parents have several brothers and sisters, and their living conditions are good. Not only is no one actively helping us, but I am also worried that I will get involved with them.
The safest thing is to cultivate children's abilities in all aspects from an early age, so that children can receive a good education and have stronger earning ability and living ability in the future. Because, the only thing people rely on is themselves.
Fourth, can many children support their parents together in the future? Some families feel that having one more child can support their parents and reduce each other's burden.
It is true that the only child has a lot of pressure to support both parents. In theory, one more child will reduce their stress by half. However, this only shows that the theory is established, but the actual situation is completely different.
No matter how many children there are at home, there are too many subjective and objective factors, which are very complicated.
For example, what is the affection between children? Can you still maintain your previous relationship after marriage? Will they honor their parents? Everyone's living conditions ..... and so on, are full of too many unknowns, so it's a bit premature to consider these when children are very young.
In reality, too many families, although they have several children, are very busy and often thankless, and other brothers and sisters don't care, don't ask, don't care.
Therefore, the key is that parents should educate their children from an early age and let them always be grateful to their parents.
5. Do you want a child? What problems must be considered clearly? First, whether time and economic conditions can be met is the most important, so we must think twice before you act. I believe everyone knows that the mode of raising children is different now, because times have changed.
Basic food and clothing, illness treatment and going to school on time can no longer support children's growth. From the most basic survival to the fate of life, it depends on family education; It is necessary to cultivate children's comprehensive abilities such as independence, thinking, foresight, action and responsibility from an early age, so that children can have better survival ability in the future.
It can be seen that only two people have enough time and energy to support their children.
At the same time, one more child will increase the corresponding economic expenditure, and it is necessary to comprehensively evaluate whether there are conditions.
Second, whether Dabao really accepts the arrival of his younger brother/sister is related to the harmony of the family and the growing environment of the children. Through situational guidance, case sharing and careful communication, Dabao can see the bright side and really look forward to the early arrival of his younger brother/sister, adding joy to himself.
Third, we must ensure that a bowl of water is flat, which is related to the healthy growth of children. In a family with two or more children, the differential treatment between parents is the first killer of family harmony and the healthy growth of children. A bowl of water must be balanced unconditionally, otherwise neglected children will be seriously hurt.
Two years ago, a shocking case happened: 14-year-old sister killed her brother with a kitchen knife and threw her body into the river, but during the trial, she looked calm. In the investigation, the police found that the two brothers and sisters were treated differently at home since childhood, and they were strict with their sisters and spoiled their younger brothers, leaving a psychological shadow.
Late that night, my brother got up and went to the toilet, and saw my sister secretly hiding under the covers to play with her mobile phone. My sister is afraid that her brother will complain to my parents, because I can imagine what kind of punishment and disposal my parents will get if they know that they stole the mobile phone. My sister was afraid and anxious, so the tragedy happened!
In short, whether or not to have a second child depends entirely on your own choice, not for others. Adding a person to the family involves all aspects of the problem, so we must consider everything before we act, as long as we do what we can.