Everyone can speak, but not everyone knows how to say it well.
Speaking is not only a skill, but also an art. Too many people regard speaking without thinking as frankness, which is actually a manifestation of muscle deficiency and low emotional intelligence. And those who pay for your honesty will always be people who care about you.
Some people offend others as soon as they open their mouths, which makes everyone lose face and break up in discord. "Misfortune comes from the mouth", as the old saying goes, is true.
The importance of speaking is self-evident. How can I say yes?
In life, many people don't pay much attention to the way they speak, and turn into the seeds of hatred in the name of love. Not being able to speak will not only make things difficult, but also cause language damage and deepen misunderstanding.
My friend Xiao Yao is a full-time mother. She attaches great importance to children's education. She has given early education to many children since she was a child and signed up for various interest classes. However, the communication between her and her children is very problematic.
One day, 4-year-old Dodo ran around the floor barefoot. The little devil said to her angrily, "Look at you, you are the dirtiest child in the world. Put on your slippers quickly. "
The child pouted and reluctantly put on his slippers.
In fact, the little demon only needs to say, "Baby, put on your slippers quickly, or you will catch cold and have diarrhea, and the injection will hurt." I think she will listen, too.
Once at the dinner table, Duoduo didn't eat well.
"You this child is so picky about food, thin like a refugee, know how hard it is for parents to earn money to support you? Can't be picky about food, I must finish my meal. " The child swallowed hard at dinner.
In fact, the little demon only needs to say, "Baby, what do you like to eat? Mom will cook it for you tomorrow. But after dinner today, mom will reward you with an ice cream. " The children will have a good time.
Last year 1 1 month, Xiao Yao's family went out for a trip.
Seeing that everything is fresh, wandering around and leaving the big army, the little demon said impatiently, "Why are you like a wild child?" We are going to the next place. Hurry up. "
As a result, the child walked unhappily at the end of the line.
In fact, Xiao Yao can also say, "The next scenic spot is more interesting. Come on, baby, come on. " Daughter must stride forward and look forward to the next scenic spot.
……
Through this story, you will find that correct communication is too important for us.
Why are we talking? Just to do things better. Then it would be better if everyone expressed it in a comfortable and pleasant way.
Speaking well means respecting each other's feelings, not just your own emotions.
Speaking with emotion can bring warmth to people and hurt each other. However, verbal injury is often more serious than external injury, and trauma is easy to detect, but verbal violence is invisible.
As parents, we are children's first teachers, and their words and deeds have a subtle influence on children. As Professor Susan Forward said in the book Poisoned Parents:
So, when a child's behavior is unacceptable to you, you can say, "What you did really makes me sad."
We only express our feelings and don't blame. In this way, the effect will definitely be much better.
After entering the society, I found that many people have no ability to empathize. Whether it is between relatives, friends or lovers, it is very important to learn to think from each other's standpoint and care about each other.
One day, the husband came home from work and saw his daughter playing with toys on the sofa and his wife washing dishes. So he habitually sat down on the sofa and took out his mobile phone to play.
Look at you. What can you do when you get home every day besides playing games? The wife said grumpily.
What happened while I was playing? My husband didn't look up either.
Finally back, don't want to play with children.
Tired from work, can't you go home for a change?
Tired at work, more tired than taking care of children? At least you still have time to play with your mobile phone.
Is it easy for me to pretend to be a grandson in the company every day? Not just for this family.
Come on, you can't make much money in that job, you only get a little salary a month!
What about you? Isn't it just taking the children to do housework? Who are you to talk about me?
What do you mean by babysitting? ! Bring it if you dare!
……
I saw my daughter's frightened expression, watched her parents quarrel, and cried with a wow.
Do you feel the same way when you see this, and is your partner the same?
The communication effect of this couple is not generally poor. Instead of solving any problems, they create new contradictions, which is typical of being unable to speak.
They all lack the ability to put themselves in others' shoes. Both sides just speak from their own standpoint, which seems reasonable, but there is no doubt that the other side is very uncomfortable, which is not the result we want.
Many times, if you change your way of speaking, the result is different.
In this family, the hardship of the husband as the economic pillar is self-evident. However, for a wife who takes care of the housework, the difficulty of taking care of the children is also obvious.
Husband and wife are partners in life, and there is division of labor and cooperation between them. We don't emphasize how hard life is, but we just hope that everyone can understand and tolerate each other, and it's okay to eat more bitterness.
A good marriage relationship means that I understand your hard work and you understand mine.
Both husband and wife pay for this family. If we look at the problem from each other's standpoint, many problems will naturally be solved and the relationship between husband and wife will be more harmonious.
Speak well, express more worries and less accusations. Don't get angry easily, talk about things calmly when you encounter problems, and don't mix emotions. It is not easy to do this.
You will find that the closer we are, the easier it is to lose our sense of proportion and say rude things to each other.
In life, we often quarrel over a trivial matter and get red in the face.
In fact, calmly think about why there are quarrels, and most of them are eager to convince each other and prove how correct they are. Regardless of others' feelings, interrupt others easily, or habitually refute each other.
But you should know that communication begins with obedience, and only by listening can you get to know each other better. Many times, listening is more important than speaking.
There is a famous American host named linklater. One day when he was hosting a program, he interviewed a little boy and asked, "What is your dream?"
The child said excitedly, "I want to be a pilot!" " "
Linklater deliberately teased him and asked, "What if the plane runs out of fuel halfway in the Pacific Ocean?"
"I will tell my passengers to fasten their seat belts, and then I will hang up my parachute and jump out ..."
Before he finished, the audience and Link burst into laughter, thinking that this is a selfish child. Unexpectedly, two lines of tears welled up in the child's eyes, which made linklater ashamed and felt that his guess was stupid.
So he asked the boy, "Why are you doing this?"
The child's answer is beyond everyone's imagination: "I'll get the fuel and come back to save everyone!" " "
At this point, everyone was silent.
Many times, people often have a bad habit, that is, they are eager to express their opinions before others have finished. We do this because we think we know what other people think.
In fact, whether the result is right or wrong, it is a very uncultured performance.
Online sentence: When God created man, why did he only have one mouth and two ears? Is to warn humans to listen more and talk less.
You will find that people usually say some nonsense.
None of us are too busy to wait for others to talk, so what you lack is not time, but literacy.
As the saying goes: "Listening is bright, but being eccentric is dark." Communication often begins with learning to listen.
How can we listen effectively?
If you want to win the respect of others, the fastest and best way is to learn to listen to each other.
Listening is a kind of ability and accomplishment. Learning to listen is the greatest respect for others.
Plato, an ancient Greek philosopher, said that wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools talk because they want to talk.
In life, many people are not incapable of their own abilities, but incapable of speaking. Speaking well is not only an ability, but also an attitude towards life.
It can be seen that people who can talk can make people laugh in one sentence, and people who can't talk can scare people.
It is not empty talk that a thousand cups can't get a bosom friend, and more than half a sentence is a lover.
A talkative person is a person with high emotional intelligence. He is never moody, and always makes people around him feel like a spring breeze and feel his greatest kindness.
He who speaks well is a man of great wisdom. He won't be furious because of your careless words or inappropriate expressions. He can tolerate your shortcomings and understand your difficulties.
He is talkative and won't leave his worst temper to his closest relatives. Because he knows that relatives don't hurt each other, but care about each other.
Talking is a person's greatest education.