Isa is a lucky boy in Stars on the Earth. Although we can feel his inner inferiority and frustration for a moment: all the letters are dancing, he can't understand the simple instruction of "turn the textbook to which page and which line". He wants to take the failed test paper home for his mother to sign, but in the end, he inadvertently turns it into a toy for two puppies, playing truant to avoid the teacher's roar and punishment. ...

But he met his teacher, Nick. Nick discovered his talent for painting in Sha Yi, and applied to the headmaster for 2-3 hours a week to help him study literature and mathematics in the way that Sha Yi liked. Nick walked into Sha Yi's little lonely heart.

Teacher Nick held a big painting competition in the boarding school. Teachers and students took part in this activity together. At the same time, teachers, painters and Hindu tutors were invited as special guests to help out the competition. In the end, Isa stood out and won the championship. Issa, who lost confidence in life, once again burst into an innocent and lovely smile, because Teacher Nick lit his lamp of confidence.

Teacher Nick is a great teacher. He is committed to saving those neglected and forgotten children with special talents. In his eyes, there is no distinction between good and bad. He thinks that every child is almost a star on the earth, and they emit different light.

In reality, what should our children do if they don't meet such a Nick teacher? Then let's be Nick's teacher and discover the advantages of children! There should be a momentum like Ye Fan's "I don't marry into a rich family, I am a rich family", because parents want their children to be happy.

2.

It's easy to see the shortcomings of children, but it takes us effort to see the advantages of children. Advantages are not simple hobbies or talents, but can be used to show children's talents.

We don't want our children to grow up without knowing what their interests are and lead a chaotic life. Therefore, in order to make children start thinking about their own advantages, we need to guide children to observe their reactions to behavioral activities and interpersonal communication. The more we can guide children to do this, the better they can do this kind of thing. The more we identify and think about advantages with our children, the more this way of thinking can become a habit.

This kind of training needs our efforts. The younger children are, the easier it is, because their young minds have not been eroded by too many negative thoughts.

3.

How?

First of all, encourage children to sit quietly, take a few deep breaths and try to calm their thoughts. Because if children want to focus on their own advantages, they must be taught to concentrate and calm down. In this way, they can think about their own advantages and focus on their feelings about what they are doing.

Even this simple step requires a few minutes of practice every day.

Then ask specific questions.

"When do you feel particularly interesting and devoted when you do something?"

For example:

Mom: "When do you think washing dishes is the most interesting?"

Child: "When playing with water and foam."

Mom: "What else do you do with water and foam?"

Child: "When washing your hands."

Mom: "Which do you prefer, washing dishes or washing hands?"

Child: "Wash your hands."

This way of asking questions will not let children find their own advantages immediately, but let them think about their specific feelings when doing these small things.

Easy first, then difficult. Ask questions with options, do you like to do this or that, and then ask two "why".

Continue this example:

Mom: "Why do you like washing your hands?"

Child: "I like the feeling of playing with water."

Then we need to repeat and confirm the child's feelings.

Mom: "So, you like the feeling of playing with water."

Child: "Yes."

The more times children participate in the process of introspection under our guidance, the more they can train their own thinking and spend more time thinking about those exploratory and creative ideas, instead of arguing more and recognizing only one angle.

This habit can change a child's life in many positive ways. For example, when choosing what kind of friends to make, he will only control his life with those who are positive to him more rationally.

4.

If we communicate with children like this every day, we can gradually get the clue of "what is most important to them" Listen carefully, then write it down, and you will find their advantages.

Regarding the thinking of advantages, we first observe and then draw some conclusions. However, with in-depth understanding and analysis, you will find that he only likes certain things.

For example, if a child likes reading, you think he has an advantage in reading. However, through observation and analysis, you find that he likes reading science fiction, and it is this that gives you a deeper understanding of his advantages.

Jennifer Fox, the author of Discovering Children's Advantages, said: Every time you peel off the shell of children's preference or love, you are closer to the core of advantages. This is the so-called "advantage following".

The author also mentioned an interesting concept called "Advantage Epiphany". That is to say, through analysis, pursuit and synthesis, we can finally change the view of superiority, and gain a new view or understanding related to children's superiority in this way of thinking, which is called superiority epiphany.

What needs to be emphasized here is that this kind of cognition cannot be directly said, and children should be guided to have an epiphany. The most effective way is to demonstrate to children with their own discoveries, so as to set an example for children to discover their own advantages.

Take my own experience as an example. At first, I thought writing was my advantage, so I began to observe my feelings when writing. Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I feel tired. Later, I found that as long as I could find a new angle, I could devote myself to writing. This simple difference is an "advantage epiphany" for me. Every time I write this word, I always feel an epiphany.

Writing what everyone knows will make me feel boring. In order to try a new angle, I will take many ways to write, such as using different writing styles; Not limited to reading a certain kind of books; Reminiscent of movies or life details that have touched me; Look at the title and typesetting of the big V; By learning new skills to organize the structure of the article, once you enter such a field of psychological activities, you can always feel as beautiful as a flower in your heart.

The same is true of communicating with children. Repeatedly asking children how they feel will encourage them to think and cultivate the habit of reflection. Even if they couldn't tell the answer at that time, they could repeat our questions, just in their own words.

We need their help to discover the advantages of children, but we can't rely on ourselves.

As the poet Ji Bolun wrote in On Children, your children are not your children. They came through you, but not from you. Although they are with you, they don't belong to you. You can give them your love, but not your thoughts. Because they have their own ideas.

Let children embark on a journey of self-exploration. One day, the cultivation of this kind of thinking habit will inject new meaning into all aspects of children's lives.

(This article comes from: Baidu baby knows Cissy parenting thinking)

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