Words, pomelos, mothers and pictures all come from the internet.

On the way to raising children, I fell through many pits and lost and confused countless times. Finally, one day I suddenly realized that my child is the most special existence in the world. I don't want him to succeed, I just want him to be safe, healthy and happy. No matter what "he doesn't meet my expectations", I will still love him without hesitation.

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0 1

First love is unconditional love.

If you interview a mother, ask her, "Are you tired of being a mother?"

The answer is definitely 99% yes.

The rest 1% must be the shopkeeper of cutting.

Then you ask a mother, "Is your baby good?"

The answer is definitely 99% no.

The rest 1% must have met an angel baby.

In this world, angel babies are just insignificant.

More are heartbroken mothers, and there are all kinds of dystocia babies.

"My baby slept for three months."

"My little radish and green vegetables, I will eat everything and give it to you."

"My baby eats well, swish, and leaves after a few sweeps."

"My baby loves to drink water and drank a bottle of water at once."

"My baby drinks milk powder. I ran over with joy and drank it in five minutes. "

"My baby is very good."

"My baby is not noisy at all."

"My baby is not sticky."

"My baby doesn't have to sleep. He lies down and sleeps every second."

I haven't reached the stage of raising children, and I have been anxious and depressed.

We don't put up with other people's parents; We have never seen anyone else's husband; We still can't have other people's children. ...

When I meet such a sad baby, do I love it or feel bad about it?

I often hear people talk about the topic of "son preference". It is said that the father of grapefruit was very happy when he first saw the little grapefruit, and was outlined by his mother as a typical representative of "son preference". In fact, I talked to dad grapefruit about this topic before giving birth to the baby. I said, "Why do many men automatically fantasize that their wives are pregnant with boys and always say' my son'?" Father grapefruit replied, "This is not the same as' son preference'." He explained, "liking boys and girls is an expectation for children, just like hoping that children will look good, and both eyelids are wishes. But looking back, it was my own child. I love both boys and girls, no matter how ugly they are. "

Indeed, I have met many men in my life. Although many of them hope to have boys before their wives have children, they love them more after they have daughters. Only a few men will resent or even abandon their daughters after giving birth, which is probably a strict sense of' son preference'. "

It is an instinct to love your children. The love we gave our children at the beginning must have nothing to do with anything else, but love itself, which is unconditional love.

I love you not because you are cute, but because I love you and I think you are cute.

This is the initial heart of love.

02

Mature love is always acceptable.

After the first test of life, the child met his parents.

From raising to educating, the road is long, and children and parents are deeply predestined. Although the ultimate direction is the separation of drifting away, the road to accompany children occupies a large part of each other's lives.

In this process, we will definitely experience disappointment with each other.

You will be disappointed in your children, and likewise, your children will be disappointed in you.

After experiencing disappointment with each other, the love that still persists is the mature love.

Because of your love for children, you have a lot of expectations. You want him to be good, he is sensible, he is smart, he can be literary and martial, he is outstanding, and he will become a phoenix. ...

You expect more and more from your children, but they may not all be what you want.

When you want your child to be quiet, he is making trouble, and you are angry and say, "You are not good, and mom and dad don't like you."

When you want him to eat well and sleep well, he doesn't cooperate at all, so you get angry and say, "You are really a bad boy. Mom and Dad don't like you."

When you want him to take a few interest classes and learn a foreign language well, he says he doesn't want to learn, so you are unhappy. He says, "You are such an enterprising child, and mom and dad are very disappointed in you."

When you want your child to be in the top ten, top five and top three in the whole grade, and your child can only get the twentieth, seventh or even second place in the exam, your sad and disappointed expression is written on your face.

When you tell your children that mom and dad want you ..., always add a sentence at the end, otherwise, mom and dad will ...

If the child doesn't meet your expectations, do you not love him?

I think your heart may say no, but your words and deeds must tell the children, yes.

A cruel fact is that most parents' love for their children will gradually have various additional conditions over time.

These additional conditions will also become the superposition of love that parents think. In the name of love, we will always say "listen to mom and dad" and "I am doing it for your own good".

Control is not the best language to convey love, but influence.

I am a normal parent in parenting, although I have been anxious.

It should be said that every child has his own difficulties. Small grapefruit is also difficult to raise in all aspects. It's hard to feed, picky eaters, and don't like drinking water ... many seemingly ordinary things are difficult for him. The theory in the parenting book and my persuasion are not on him at all! Tube! Use! I tried everything, but he didn't! Match! Shut it down! I finally understand what is meant by "pulling a shit and pulling a urine", which is not physically dirty and tired, but also mentally pulling and consuming energy.

Growing up quietly is really a dream.

Children can always worry you, no matter what kind of baby they are.

One day I suddenly thought, is it because I study psychology that my children have to be particularly difficult to deal with, so that I can be honed? My brand-new cognition has brought a turning point to my parenting.

I began to tell myself, "Your children are really special. His sensitivity, timidity, picky eaters and feeding difficulties are all his special features. These special things have their own meanings (as for what the meaning is, it may be beyond your understanding). Maybe these are all stages, which will change gradually with growth. As people say, "problems that cannot be changed are left for growth to solve." "

When I gave up changing him and became a "snail walking mother", I became no longer anxious. Become a "big-hearted" mother. Later, I found that he was not so bad.

He seems to be growing and changing quietly.

After weaning, I feel that I have ushered in my own "small age", and the appetite of small grapefruit is wide open; It is easy to fall asleep; I can entertain myself for a long time and stop being so clingy; The communication with him has become smoother ... I think this change should not be sudden, but the result of my "waiting for flowers to bloom".

Don't forget that your active attitude is always acceptable.

In order to follow in his footsteps, walk into his heart and contribute to his future, come on.

03

Only "ingenuity" can shape "fine products"

Accepting children is a world outlook and a methodology. In fact, it is a word: ingenuity, because only "ingenuity" can shape "boutique".

Ingenuity is the spirit of doing one thing to the extreme. Ingenuity is a persistent concentration and patience, making full use of the "materials" in your hands to present the most beautiful works, which is a state of unity of body and mind.

The so-called ingenuity in parenting, I think it is a kind of patience, a kind of waiting for time. At the same time, it is a kind of integration, a kind of integration with works. As a parent, I am the one who knows the talent of children best. If I always pay attention to children, I will constantly discover their potential and growth direction. What parents can do may be to wait for their children with this ingenuity and give him the best guidance without embellishing his authenticity and beauty.

Don't compare, don't blindly follow.

At one time, many articles on parenting in the official WeChat account made me very anxious. Reading enlightenment, English enlightenment, mathematics enlightenment, early education, high-quality companionship and winning at the starting line, every word is stinging my nerves.

I have also thought about it countless times. What efforts should I make for the future of my children?

Is stocking an irresponsible attitude?

Later, I seriously thought about my parenting strategy from beginning to end. "What do you want your children to be?" From this, it is deduced that "what do you think is the most important thing for your child?"

Then I realized that my ideal of parenting is to hope that he is safe, healthy and happy, so the direction of parenting is to pay more attention to the cultivation of his good habits and physical and mental health. Then diet, work and rest, temperance, obeying rules and emotional management are all my concerns.

Because good habits are the basis of good character, and the concern for his mental health is to hope that he will have more ability to live a happy life in the future.

Because most of us will eventually live an ordinary life, learn to face our own ordinary, and persist in making extraordinary achievements in the ordinary, which is more important.

I don't want him to be a successful person in the future. I just hope he can keep working hard and find his most suitable position. I don't want him to chase anyone, but I will encourage him to keep racing with himself.

I hope he can inspire his greatest potential and become a better self.

At the same time, I also accept that one day he may be as ordinary as his parents.

I will also teach him how to practice life in the ordinary, and teach him that ordinary is not equal to mediocrity.

I will tell him that learning is very important, but first, I must teach him the joy of learning.

I wish him happiness, happiness and, most importantly, himself.

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