Do you have the same baby at home? In fact, I have laughed at everyone before, and it doesn't matter who holds the baby. How to become so "melodramatic" overnight. Even some babies can't be held by grandma except mom. If the baby is "shy" overnight, then. Congratulations on successfully unlocking the social function, which represents the progress of the baby's cognitive development.
In the psychology of children's development, the phenomenon of "recognizing strangers" is inseparable from the great progress of social cognition and social learning. A situation usually occurs between 6 months and 1 year and a half. With the development of baby's cognition, he gradually realizes the importance of his mother to himself and can realize the difference between familiarity and strangeness. Will cry because strangers come near.
▲ I began to establish attachment with my mother in 6 months.
Since the baby was about 6 months old, he began to realize that his mother can take care of him and protect him, which is unique. That is, "intimacy" and "exclusiveness" in developmental psychology. The baby at this stage still regards himself and his mother as a whole. Someone else can take care of it for a while. But gradually, the baby began to be more and more "clingy" and entered the next stage.
▲ I realized that I was an independent individual after 8 months.
The 8-month-old baby gradually realized that he was independent and not a part of his mother. On the one hand, this independence makes the baby happy, on the other hand, the baby finds that the mother can't respond to herself immediately and can't synchronize her emotions with herself. These changes made him panic and fall into anxiety. The biggest fear of babies in this period when they see strangers is to take themselves away from their mothers or their mothers. Therefore, if a baby sees a mother holding another child, it will often collapse.
▲ 10 can distinguish familiar people from strangers.
Babies avoid risks and seek protection by "recognizing strangers". The baby's sociality has developed by leaps and bounds. He began to establish emotional ties with relatives other than his mother, and he was able to distinguish between people who often took care of themselves, friends of his mother and father, and strangers. Research shows that the behavior of "recognizing strangers" at this stage is actually the result of better survival and evolution.
The behavior that annoys mothers is often not the child's "acceptance of life" but "fear of life". Some children can tell a nurturer from a stranger, but they are not afraid. Colleague/Kloc-When a 0/0-month-old boy was brought to the office for the first time, he didn't cry as we thought, but suddenly stopped biting toys and observed the people in the room one by one. I didn't know until I asked my colleagues that her children often go out, so they are used to meeting strangers. Mothers can start from these points, let their babies know strangers, and don't be afraid of them.
1, understand the child's performance.
Many parents feel humiliated because their children cry when they meet strangers. They think their children are "timid", "shy" and "introverted". It is not appropriate to label a baby like this. The baby's living environment and sensitivity are different, and when facing strangers, there will be different performances. Even adults, in the face of strangers, will have uncomfortable and abnormal performance. If you want to help your baby get through the stage of being afraid of life, you must first accept and understand your baby's fear of life. Because Bao's father Ma Bao's anxiety and anger when the baby is unfamiliar will also be passed on to the baby, making him even more uneasy.
2. Don't force children to contact strangers.
When a child is afraid of life, the worst thing is that parents "exercise him" and deliberately let friends who are not familiar with the baby hold the baby. This will only deepen the baby's anxiety and make him feel that strangers will occasionally separate me from my mother.
3. gain trust step by step.
Facing the stranger, the child cried. The first thing parents should do is to appease. We can pick him up and continue to talk and chat with our friends. Babies at this stage are much more sensitive than we thought. They will carefully observe the mother's tone and expression, and judge the relationship between this person and her mother through the growing social cognitive ability. Finally, slowly, the child will calm down.
From this process, the baby can also learn that strangers are not all terrible.
4. Spend more time with each other and strengthen attachment.
Children's fear of life mostly stems from their ultimate worry: separation from their mother. The only way to improve this anxiety is to spend more time with each other and get along well.
I noticed an interesting phenomenon: most of the babies who took Bauer to the early education center were picked up by the teacher when they met for the first time, and they didn't cry. Most of them were accompanied by their mothers. And those babies brought by grandmothers need a long time to adapt in a strange environment.
This has much to do with the strength of attachment. For infants in early childhood, mother's company is irreplaceable.
5. From open space to closed space
Many babies can adapt to train stations and waiting halls crowded with strangers, but it is difficult to adapt to early education classrooms with only two teachers. There is a simple reason. A large number of strangers are vague in the eyes of the baby, not specific, so it is difficult to separate him from his mother. The teachers in the classroom are concrete and may take themselves away. Therefore, if you want your baby to go out for a walk and become "extroverted", it is suggested that you start with going out to play, take your baby to visit relatives and friends, and then go to an early education class full of strangers.
The baby who should have been born at 6 to 18 months was not. It seems that everyone is the same. Mom won't go to see her after she has been away for a long time, so there is no separation anxiety. Don't think this is a good thing, it is the courage of children. Bob Baba Ma Bao should watch carefully. Some children can realize strangers, such as curiosity, and stop what they are doing. But if there is no response at all, the child may be mentally retarded and autistic.
Have a friend's child, very introverted. When we are one or two years old, we will say hello when we come to visit or "see" us. But later, she seems to be more and more introverted. When we go to her house, she will quickly shut herself in her room. Even if you eat, keep your head down and finish eating quickly. I suggest that friends must reflect on their own education methods, whether they often deny their children, and whether they are too strict and not concerned enough. If you don't intervene, the baby is likely to form an avoidant personality.
Pillow parenting information:
Just like "babies stuff everything into their mouths" and "babies always throw things", "recognizing strangers" is the inevitable result of children's ability improvement. Many parents will preset an ideal state in their hearts when dealing with various manifestations of their baby's growth. The baby is different from the ideal, that is, the baby has a problem and immediately asks "what to do". In fact, what mom and dad need to do is just calm down and accept and observe the baby, understand the growth law of the child, and then cheer for their every growth.