Recently, American Business Insider published an article in Time magazine, summarizing the similarities of 1 1 * * of parents of successful children through a large number of survey data provided by many famous schools such as Harvard and Stanford:
Parents let their children do housework.
"If the children don't wash the dishes, it means someone is washing the dishes for them." Julie, the freshman director of Stanford University? Julie Lythcott-Haims said in the TED talk that she went on to say: "As a result, they not only shirked their business, but also failed to learn these two points: there are many things to do, and each of us must contribute to the whole."
She believes that children who do housework from an early age will become employees who cooperate smoothly with colleagues. These children know what it feels like to be pestered and unwilling to do it, so they are more compassionate and independent. Julie's research is based on the famous Harvard financial aid research, which is a follow-up study starting from 195 1.
"By letting children do housework-taking out the garbage and washing their own clothes, they realize that they have to do the trivial things in life, which are also part of life." Julie said in an interview.
2) Teach children social skills.
Researchers from Pennsylvania State University and Duke University followed more than 700 kindergarten children across the United States until they were 25 years old, and found that their communication skills in kindergarten were significantly related to their success after 25 years.
A 20-year-long study shows that children who are good at cooperating with other children, can help and understand others, and can solve interpersonal problems by themselves are more likely to get a university degree and a full-time job at the age of 25.
Children with limited communication skills are more likely to be arrested, drunk and apply for public welfare housing.
"This study shows that to prepare children for a healthy future, helping them develop communication and emotional communication skills is one of the most important things we can do." The initiator of this study-Robert? Wood? Christine, Project Director of Johnson Foundation? Christine Schubert said.
3) children's mathematics.
In the analysis of 35,000 preschool children from the United States, Canada and Britain, the researchers found that the earlier they develop their math skills, the greater the advantages they can bring to their children. GregDuncan, a researcher at Northwestern University, pointed out that early mathematical ability is very important, including basic mathematical concepts such as the concept and order of numbers. Mastering these early mathematical abilities will not only enable children to get good grades in their later mathematical studies, but also improve and develop their reading ability.
4) They have high expectations for their children.
According to the national survey data of 6600 children born in 200 1 year, Professor Neil? Neil Halfon and his colleagues found that parents' expectations of their children have a great influence on their future achievements.
"Parents who expect their children to go to college will help their children achieve this goal even if their income is limited." The survey found that 57% of the children with poor school performance want to go to college; 96% of children who behave well are expected to go to college.
This phenomenon is called Pygmalion Effect effect or "expectation effect", that is, a person's expectation of others can promote his self-realization; Children, in particular, will perform better when they are expected to have higher expectations.
5) Don't always be around children.
Bridget Ted, the author of an article in Washington post? Shulte cited a study that the length of time a mother spends with her children aged 3 to 1 1 has nothing to do with her children's behavior, happiness and achievements. Even, the practice of "strong parents" or "airborne parents" may be counterproductive. Mothers aged 3 to 1 1 are "strongly caring for their children" or "always around their children", which is counterproductive.
"Stressed mothers, especially those who have difficulty getting along with their children because of work pressure, may actually have a bad influence on their children."
Nomaguchi, one of the authors of the study and a sociologist at the University of Berlin Gegelin, told the Post that this is because emotions are contagious like a cold. Just as the happiness or sadness of relatives and friends can infect us, if parents are tired or depressed, their emotional state may be transferred to their children.
6) Their relationship is healthy.
Children who live with quarrelsome parents, whether the family is complete or broken, often do not develop as well as children whose parents get along well. The University of Illinois once conducted a "research review", Robert? Professor Robert Hughes Jr mentioned that some studies have found that children in harmonious single-parent families develop better than those who grow up in families where their parents are at odds from time to time.
Hughes also said that the conflict between parents before divorce has a negative impact on children, while the relationship between parents after divorce has a strong impact on children's psychological adaptation. The study found that after divorce, if the father without custody has frequent contact with the child and does not conflict with the child's mother, the child's performance will be very good.
However, another study found that young people in their twenties who experienced their parents' divorce in childhood will still feel pain ten years later. Young people whose parents often quarrel are more likely to feel lost and regret.
7) Cultivate children's growth thinking.
Children's future performance can also be predicted from their views on how success comes about.
Carol, a psychologist at Stanford University? Carol Dwek found that children (and adults) usually have two different ways to understand success. Like Maria? Popova described:
"thinking set", that is, assuming that our personality, intelligence and innovation ability are static, thinks that success is whether these factors add up to a certain established standard; Therefore, in order to keep smart and skilled self-awareness, people will pursue success and avoid failure at all costs.
"Growth mentality", that is, failure is not considered as evidence of not being smart enough, but as an incentive to promote growth and strengthen viability.
These two ways of thinking have a great influence on children. If a child is told that he did well in the exam because he is smart, it belongs to "thinking set"; If parents recognize their children's efforts, what children learn is the "growth mentality".
8) Mom works as well as Dad.
According to a survey conducted by Harvard Business School, it is of great significance for mothers to go out to work for their children's growth. For working mothers, their daughters spend more time in school and are more likely to be engaged in supervision, and their income is 23% higher than that of their peers at home; When their sons grow up, they will also tend to do more housework and take care of their children. Compared with their mothers at home, they will spend 7.5 hours more taking care of their children and 25 minutes more doing housework. This is because parents, as role models, will send out signals, which will tell their children what kind of behavior is appropriate.
9) High education level
University of Michigan psychologist Sandra? A study conducted by Sandra Tang on 20 14 found that mothers who had attended high school or university were more inclined to let their children receive the same education. Yes, 1998? A study of more than 65,438+04,000 American children who entered kindergarten in 2007 found that children of underage mothers (under 65,438+08) were less likely to finish high school or be admitted to universities.
Part of the reason lies in parents' wishes. A research report published in 2009 showed the long-term follow-up results of 856 people in the urban-rural fringe of New York State. Author-Eric, a psychologist at Berlin State University? Eric Dubow Du found: "When a child is 8 years old, the education level of his parents is obviously related to his later education level and career success 40 years later.
10) has a high social and economic status.
There is evidence that the higher parents' income, the better their children's SAT scores, because in addition to expensive education investment, socio-economic status itself will also affect children's education level and future performance. Unfortunately, one fifth of American children grow up in poverty, which seriously limits their potential.
1 1) is good at developing relationships with children.
According to PsyBlog, people who can respond to the signals released by children in a timely and reasonable way. A study involving 243 people from poor backgrounds found that children who were cared for by their parents in the first three years of their lives not only had better academic performance in childhood, but also had healthier interpersonal relationships and better academic performance in their thirties.