Everything is the best arrangement, some things always happen inadvertently!
For example, the seven-day parent training camp, because I am also very concerned about the topic of family education and children's growth, so I met the course of sunshine and smile. Thank you for meeting me!
[Struggle] Day 1: How to say that children are willing to listen, how to listen to children who are willing to speak.
[Rose] Today's sentiment sharing:
An effective method of parent-child communication must be to fully affirm the child's individual dignity, truly stand in the child's position, understand the child's feelings and regard the child as an independent, responsible and capable person.
Children should not be the enemies of their parents, nor should they be subordinate to their parents. Parents should have listened to their feelings and faced and solved problems together. Only by understanding and recognizing this from the heart can we end the conflict with children, communicate effectively and happily with children, and obtain close parent-child relationship.
First: how to listen to the child before you are willing to speak; How to say that children are willing to listen?
Important skills to accept children's feelings and help them face their own feelings. Only by standing in the children's position and understanding them can we have feelings, let them express their depression and troubles, relieve their emotions and help them deal with problems.
Parents should pay attention to "three encouragements and one substitution".
1, the first encouragement is to encourage children to cooperate. Tell your feelings and demands!
The second kind of encouragement is to encourage children to stand on their own feet.
Let children do their own things, let children face problems, choose problems, and the consequences of problems.
3, the third kind of encouragement, learn to appreciate children.
Tip 1: Replace comments with descriptive compliments.
The second skill to appreciate children is to release them from their roles.
The so-called release from the role is to let children get rid of negative labels.
"self-prediction comes true"
4. "One substitution" means replacing punishment with natural consequences.
Parents must listen carefully, accept and respect their children's feelings, and truly stand in their children's position. Research has more motivation to listen to books, and a group of people is always more powerful than one person. Listen a little every day, so that you can make progress every day, be a better yourself and a better mother. Every child is unique, not all methods are suitable for all children. Listen more and learn more, and you can always find the right one!
[Struggle] The next day: P.E.T Parental effectiveness training: making parent-child communication so efficient and simple.
[Rose] Today's sentiment sharing:
First of all, we talked about how to use the "third law" to solve contradictions and make parents and children achieve "win-win". The third law is that parents disapprove of using authority. On the contrary, children should be involved in conflict planning through six steps in order to find a method acceptable to both sides.
The first step is for parents and children to clearly express their needs.
Parents must tell their children exactly how they feel.
The second step is to try to find all available solutions.
The third step is to evaluate alternatives.
The fourth step is to determine the most suitable solution.
The fifth step is to explain in detail how the solution should be implemented.
The sixth step is to track and evaluate the effect of the solution.
Secondly, we talked about how to make children open their hearts to their parents and speak their minds. As we said, parents should use "listening skills" to guide and encourage their children to talk about the problems that bother them and find their own solutions.
Thirdly, we talked about how parents should talk to their children and let them understand their parents' feelings. When children's behavior affects parents' needs, parents can take certain skills to make their children change. Among them, the most effective way is to use the information starting with the word "I" to let children understand their parents' feelings, be willing to take responsibility and make their own efforts.
[Struggle] Day 3: "Learn from preschool experts and develop children's potential"
[Rose] Today's sentiment sharing:
"The focus of early education and enlightenment is awakening, not indoctrination."
What parents should do most is to give their children a beam of light to help them "wake up" the sleeping treasure. Once these "babies" are "awakened", the children's enthusiasm for learning will also be stimulated, and the children themselves will be well developed.
Games are a way for children to learn and a channel for children to link with the world. Therefore, for parents, playing with children can also help us enter their hearts. So how should we play? It can be seen from two aspects, one is toys, and the other is playing games.
Toys are just a carrier. In the process of children playing with toys, as parents, we can consciously guide and accompany them, which can not only enjoy wonderful parent-child time, but also lay a good foundation for children's future skill training.
Two "slowness", that is, "let the children develop slowly, and all education does not seek immediate results" and "when the children are frustrated, slowly intervene and give them more opportunities to experience".
Cohen sang in "Ode", "Everything has cracks, that's where the light comes in", so that children can transform and grow up in repeated setbacks, so that children can truly live their best selves.
F4 communication mode of parent-child communication can make the communication between parents and children smoother.
The first f is Fact, which means fact.
The second f is feeling, which means emotion.
The third f is Finding, which means finding.
The last f is the future, which means the future.
[Struggle] Day 4: "Give children aged 0- 12 a good personality"
[Rose] Today's sentiment sharing:
It is said that personality determines fate. Isn't the old saying that "3 years old looks old, 7 years old looks old"? Personality is like a birthmark on a child. Once it grows up, it will follow the child for life. Soft language, firm attitude, love and companionship are very important! Pay attention to three key stages of children aged 0- 12;
The first key stage, from birth to 2 years old, is mainly to lay a solid foundation for character cultivation, that is, to take root. The deeper the roots, the better the foundation for growth. What children need most is the watering of love.
Parents should change two habits to prevent bad personality. Monotonous praise and fierce criticism.
The second key stage is 3-6 years old, which is the embryonic stage. At this time, the child's character has begun to appear. In other words, the tree has begun to split and grow a trunk. The role of parents is to help the tree not grow too long, that is, to guide the child's character;
To understand what children are thinking, parents need to understand three key monologues of their children.
The third critical stage is 7- 12 years old. This is the forming period. Children will grow tiny branches and leaves, and parents should also work hard at the subtleties to see where the child's personality is long and where the child's shortcomings are, and help the child improve in a targeted manner.
To shape a good character, parents should focus on two things. Children should learn to be independent and establish contact with others.
I hope our parents can listen to their children's inner monologues, face up to the problems between themselves and their children and reflect on how to get along with them. At different stages of life, what parents should change and do to help their children become better themselves.
[Struggle] Day 5: "Positive Discipline"
[Rose] Today's sentiment sharing:
Soft language, firm attitude!
The purpose behind children's bad behavior:
One is to seek excessive attention,
The second is to fight for power and profit.
The third is revenge,
The fourth is to give up on yourself.
Make good use of encouragement, active pause and heuristic questions to teach children to grow up!
Kochi's parents will let their children choose their own path! Parents who don't study are the biggest irresponsibility to their children!