Do parents treat children's secrets well? In early education, parents are always very cautious about the cultivation of their children. Parents should work together with their children to overcome difficulties. The solution of the problem is conducive to the development of children's ability, more time to spend with children, and parents' secrets to share with you. Early education.

Parents, will you be kind to children's secrets? Early education 1 0~3 years old: no secrets.

Before the age of 3, children have been living in a world dependent on their parents and other caregivers, always mixing themselves with other people's thoughts and experiences. They haven't established themselves yet, so they have no secrets.

3~4 years old: secret budding.

Around the age of 3, children began to clearly realize their separation from the objective world and gradually learned to call themselves "I". He can realize that some things he knows and some things he doesn't know. "This is only mine", so the secret appeared. This is a brand-new world and his inner world. Of course, children at this time are unconscious about whether to keep secrets or open them.

4~5 years old: feel the secret.

At this time, the child began to vaguely feel the meaning of the secret, but still did not understand its true connotation and essence. Therefore, it can only be said that children have discovered their inner world, that's all. If you ask a 5-year-old what a secret is, he may answer, "I have told others many secrets." So he still can't keep a secret.

School age: confused about secrets.

Most 6-year-olds are worried about telling secrets. Especially when children realize that their wishes conflict with the requirements of adults, they learn to "obey the sun and oppose the yin", which leads to the idea or practice of "hiding the light" On the one hand, he hopes to pursue independence and gain a sense of independence by keeping secrets; On the other hand, he will feel guilty for keeping a secret.

Adolescence: Keep a secret.

After entering adolescence, with the rapid improvement of independent consciousness, the space of children's mind seems to be suddenly opened, the content of secrets has changed and the scope has gradually expanded. They want to have more contact with society and life, so they need to have their own space to hide their personal secrets. For example, many children start to keep diaries, in which they tell their "secrets". At the same time, they have realized that they should keep secrets for others, which shows that he has gradually developed a sense of responsibility.

Do parents treat children's secrets well? Early education 2 shows that parents don't respect their children's privacy.

Make fun of children's defects

MengMeng has a large dark red birthmark on her hip, shaped like a heart. Parents think this is very interesting, so they love to "show" MengMeng's heart of hearts in front of others since childhood. At the age of three, MengMeng began to show impatience with such "exhibitions" and often resisted. Mom and dad feel that the child is just a little "embarrassed" and doesn't care; However, with the passage of time, MengMeng's behavior has become more and more abnormal, and has developed to hide at the sight of guests and refuse to be hugged and touched by adults.

Analysis: mom and dad might as well put themselves in their shoes: are you willing to "show" others' hips often? At this point, children's psychology is no different from that of adults. For children's physical defects, including congenital defects, characteristics and acquired scars, parents should avoid mentioning them in front of their children, and they should not be used as talks or jokes.

Break into the little world of children

However, there is a toy cupboard. However, from the age of 4, family members are not allowed to touch this cabinet, which makes adults laugh and cry: this is her "home" and others are "breaking into houses". Grandma is worried that her granddaughter will put unsafe items in it, so she often opens the cupboard when she is not at home. In fact, it is just an ordinary toy.

Analysis: Since children have such a toy cabinet, it is necessary to change from "hardware" to "software", leaving a small independent space completely belonging to them. If parents think it is necessary to know their children's "small space" for safety reasons, they should explain to them in advance, visit them as guests and guide them to use the space as consultants.

Punish children with past mistakes

Dongdong likes painting, and his earliest work is the "mural painting" that he began to create on his home wall when he was two years old. The original white wall was crayoned into a "big face". When there are guests at home, my father always says to the guests in front of Xiaodong, "Look, this naughty bag is all dirty. How well this wall is decorated! " Every time everyone laughs, sensitive Dongdong blushes. Over time, Dongdong lost interest in painting.

Analysis: Children don't want others to know their mistakes, which is also their privacy. It is enough for children to realize their mistakes and correct them as they get older. Parents should not repeatedly expose their children's "crimes", which will not only hurt their self-esteem, but also make children with poor discrimination misunderstand their behavior and stifle their legitimate interests. It is better to hang children's paintings on the wall, enjoy his progress with children and share the joy of creation. After all, graffiti all over the wall witnessed the growth of children.

Children also have little secrets that they don't want people to know.

These examples are worth pondering. In life, quite a few people take it for granted that children should not have privacy and should not have secrets in front of their families. In fact, children also have the basic right to privacy. For children, the secrets he doesn't want others to know are personal privacy, such as the quarrel or divorce between mom and dad, his hidden physical defects, winning the last prize in a competition, making a fool of himself in an activity, being punished for disobedience and other "frustrated" past. If you often mention this to others, children will think it is exposing their shortcomings.

In fact, the baby about two and a half years old has begun to feel ashamed. A three-year-old baby will have some little secrets that he doesn't want others to know. Babies after the age of four will have more and more things that they don't want others to know. These are normal psychological needs during the baby's growth.

How should parents face their children's little secrets?

In real life, many parents are not deeply aware that their children also have secrets. One of the main reasons for the tension of parent-child relationship in most families is that children need more and more independence and are eager to have their own privacy space. However, parents just want to know everything about their children and always want their children to grow up under their own control and shape their children according to their own ideals.

This approach is completely wrong. On the one hand, parents should respect their children's privacy, be cautious in their words and deeds in front of their children, and don't talk nonsense, which inadvertently infringes on their privacy and has a negative impact on their mental health; Create his own space for children, for example, sleep in separate beds with children, set up a single room for older children, and allow children to keep personal secrets. On the other hand, we should also cultivate children's privacy awareness from an early age, so that they can know what others can know and what they and their parents can know. Make privacy concrete to prevent children from unconsciously revealing their privacy to others, thus bringing unnecessary trouble to themselves and their families.

Respecting and protecting children's privacy, fundamentally speaking, means respecting and protecting children's self-esteem. Only in this way can parents get closer and closer to their children.