There are three main reasons why children are not confident. The first reason is that children are timid and insecure, which is related to their growing environment.
Children who lack parents before the age of three are more likely to be timid and insecure. My friend's child is less than 1 year old, and it is placed in my hometown. At first, they would go home every weekend. Later, she was sent to other places and seldom went home to see the children. Until I went to the kindergarten to pick up the children, the children were very timid and spoke in a very low voice.
Others robbed her toys in the community, and they never said anything, and they never said anything when they were bullied by their classmates at school. Both husband and wife have strong personalities, but the child's personality makes them very upset!
The second reason is that children's timidity and self-confidence are mostly related to family education methods.
I took my daughter downstairs to play this morning and bought her a steamed stuffed bun. As a result, I didn't get it well twice and fell directly to the ground. I was also inexplicably angry in my heart and immediately began to scold her. Although I know it is wrong to educate children in this way, many parents, like me, sometimes can't control their temper.
If parents always scold or reprimand their children for their mistakes in the process of educating them, then children will become cautious in order to avoid making mistakes.
Hong Tao actress Xiao Ceng, born in 1969, said in the program that her daughter knocked over the milk bottle and she shouted: What's wrong with you! The child stood in the same place, stupefied, obviously frightened. She immediately realized that her attitude was wrong.
Third, naturally timid and introverted children are more likely to lose self-confidence.
It is said that a person's character has been formed in the womb. Some children are introverted and some children are extroverted. Relatively speaking, introverted children are more likely to feel inferior and insecure, because introverted children are more sensitive and more susceptible to other people's emotions.
Children's self-confidence is inseparable from their parents' education. As parents, we should encourage our children more.
Give the child affirmation in time. For introverted children, they need more encouragement. We can start from life, for example, children can start collecting toys and help their parents. Appropriate encouragement can make children affirm their abilities.
In family education, give children more respect, not more reprimands.
No parents want to reprimand their children, but many parents can't help but turn on the reprimand mode. In the process of educating children, it is best to respect them.
Children with inner stability are more confident, and the sense of security in childhood cannot be separated from a regular life.
Take children to play with their peers.
Children often imitate each other, and the communication between children and their peers is smoother.
Encourage children to participate in some public activities at school.
Before her daughter went to kindergarten, she was introverted and timid. After going to kindergarten, her personality became very cheerful. In addition to having more peers in kindergarten, some public activities in the school will also actively encourage her to participate. Once she wins the honor, she will work harder next time.
If parents try the above methods, the effect is still not obvious. Don't worry, children are like flowers, and each flower blooms at a different time. We just need to silently guide and wait!
Some parents think it's no big deal that children are timid. When they grow up, they will naturally get better, so they don't interfere with education. Such parents lack sensitivity. In fact, if a child's timid personality is not educated and cultivated, it will evolve into an avoidant personality. This kind of personality, because of fear of dealing with the outside world, confines itself to the narrow circle of self, and people develop in the process of interaction with the environment.
Let him try new things. When children are older, they like to eat with spoons or walk unsteadily. Many things they want to do by themselves! At this time, many parents will say, alas, I ate too dirty, and I fell down when I couldn't walk steadily, and I was not allowed to walk more! In fact, in this process, the child can go through a process of never reaching the meeting. When he arrives, he will feel a sense of accomplishment! Self-confidence will also improve! Don't we often feel more confident because of our sense of accomplishment at work? Empathy, so do children! Many times, we must let go and let our children try to do what they can't do!
When a child makes a mistake: How many times have I told you/I have already told you. Children don't want to make mistakes, but because they are young, their physical and psychological abilities are not as good as those of adults, so there are always some things that are not good enough, just not good enough, not wrong! In fact, what they need after making a "mistake" is the comfort of their parents, not the blame. If it is comfort, they can quickly adjust their emotions and focus on solving problems. If it is blame, their minds are spent on fear and blame.
Every child is unique, and they all have their own bright spots. There is absolutely no need for us to put the cultivation of children above other people's standards. We see the advantages of other people's children, but ignore their talents. This is unfair. It will also cast a shadow over children's psychology, so that they can't see their own strengths and find confidence.
Everyone has his own weaknesses. Self-confidence is the foundation of optimism. If you show your weaknesses from the beginning, you can't show your confidence. Bed-wetting, stuttering, Lickitung and so on are actually children's weaknesses, because they are still young. The more they pay attention, the more serious they will be. Parents should strive to protect their children's self-esteem, learn to ignore their children's weaknesses and strengthen their own strengths. Please believe that these "small problems" will really disappear soon.
Praise and reward are affirmation and praise for children's thoughts and behaviors. Through affirmation and praise, children's enterprising spirit and sense of honor can be strengthened, which is conducive to cultivating children's self-confidence. Praise and rewards should be realistic and timely, with spiritual rewards as the main and material rewards as the supplement.
Criticism and punishment are the negation of children's bad thoughts and behaviors. Parents certainly have the right to criticize and educate their children, but criticism is to make children feel ashamed and miserable, and then generate the motivation to correct their mistakes, rather than sarcasm, ridicule or abuse. These parents should remember that criticism and punishment should also be measured.
Parents should consciously create a good living environment for their children and let them be infected and edified. Family is the main living place for children. Therefore, for the healthy growth of children, parents should handle the relationship between members, adhere to the correct code of conduct, and create a United and harmonious family atmosphere.
If children are not gregarious, a little shy, have no friends, always hit others, or are always bullied by other children, parents will definitely worry. How important it is to socialize now. If children can't socialize, will they be unsociable in the future? Will it be unable to adapt to various environments and will it be easy to suffer losses? These concerns are of course very reasonable.
First, let's talk about confidence. How is self-confidence cultivated? From the birth of the baby, the newborn baby can't realize that he is an independent individual. They mainly know who he is, parents, relatives, teachers and so on. Through the interactive experience with relatives. Close people can reflect the characteristics and advantages of children in their interaction, so that children can feel it themselves.
The second point is to give children some proper play space when playing and follow their footsteps. On the contrary, it is a way for children to know themselves, others and the world. For example, I found my toy behind the sofa and successfully pressed a button, so I heard music. Or children accurately throw the ball into the basket. Then these games are to let children learn how to solve problems in play, and at the same time, they can experience the joy of success and cultivate self-confidence. Children are the main body of the game. As long as they don't hurt themselves, others and the environment within a safe range, then we can try our best to let our children be the guides of games. We can follow the pace of children, accompany and cooperate, which is also conducive to children's self-confidence and leadership.
The third point is to help children learn more problem-solving methods. Helping children solve problems doesn't mean doing it for them. When a child is in trouble and a little depressed, we can help him through the following steps. First, tell him that his mother knows how depressed you are. Then we can ask, baby, why do you think this is happening? After asking, if the baby doesn't answer, we can provide some opinions on this question. Is it because the carpet is too soft that the progress has dropped? Then let's ask the baby again, the baby, have you thought of any solution? If the baby hasn't decided yet, we can also give some advice. For example, how about we move the program to a harder floor? If children are guided well when they encounter setbacks, it is an excellent opportunity for them to cultivate self-confidence and learn to deal with emotions. Children will feel that their mother is always reliable and he will always encourage me. And I am the one who has the ability to find a solution by myself.
Fourth, let the children bear some responsibilities. Feeling useful and needed will make children feel more important and help them build their self-confidence.
Parents should do two things if they want their children not to be timid and self-confident: one is not to overprotect their children, and the other is not to scold them at will.
The formation of children's personality has a certain relationship with heredity, but the acquired family education plays an important role.
Nowadays, parents pay more and more attention to their children's family education and training, and pay more and more attention to some scientific methods.
How to make children not timid and insecure? Let me talk about my views in detail.
First, don't overprotect children, let them see the world, don't be timid, don't let them live under the wings of their parents all the time, and let them participate in some school activities from an early age, such as class management and school cultural and sports activities. Dare to arrange class affairs in front of the whole class, perform programs and give speeches in public at school, all of which can make children not timid in public.
Parents can also often take their children out for a walk, so that children can see the world more and broaden their horizons. For example, in crowded places, take children to communicate with adults and dare to speak in front of strangers.
Let children dare to speak in front of people. First of all, parents should guide their children to be polite and have a tutor. Such a child will be liked by everyone. Being liked by everyone, in turn, is an encouragement to children.
Second, don't scold children at will, give them confidence and respect, communicate on an equal footing, and don't scold children at will. Facts have proved that the more children are scolded, the less confident they are.
When a child makes a mistake, parents should try their best to restrain bad emotions, be patient, have an equal dialogue with the child, help the child truly understand the reasons for the mistake, and agree not to make the same mistake again in the future.
Scolding children is almost the killer weapon for parents to educate their children, but the degree of scolding is different. But it is this seemingly habitual behavior that kills children's self-confidence just a little.
Children's self-confidence comes from their correct evaluation, not from their parents' blind praise to gain vanity. What parents convey to their children must be true, right and wrong. We should tell them realistically, so that they can gain correct cognition and self-confidence in this discrimination between right and wrong.
Third, at the end, children's timidity and self-confidence are the shackles on the road to growth in the future. Even if a child's IQ is higher and his study is better, it will affect his future development. Therefore, parents should consciously guide their children from an early age, respect them and make them fearless and confident.
Hello, I'm Mu Mian, a senior nurse, and I'm glad to answer your question.
Parents want their children to behave naturally, but children may not always meet their parents' expectations. In the process of children's growth, personality and psychology may undergo major changes. I was cheerful when I was a child, but I may become very introverted when I grow up. When I was a child, I was shy and afraid to meet people. When I grow up, I may become outgoing and sunny.
Children's personality changes can not be separated from the growth environment and the influence of parents. In order to make children better adapt to society when they grow up, parents want their children to have a "good personality". We must find the root of the problem and prescribe the right medicine to get twice the result with half the effort.
1, lack of social interaction
Nowadays, social work is under great pressure, and the affairs of raising children are complicated, making it more and more difficult to raise children. Some dual-income families have to leave their children in the care of the elderly. It is said that "every generation of parents", the children's grandparents or grandparents must be very caring for their children, more careful than raising children. The old man is old and has limited energy. In order to prevent the child from getting hurt, he may not take the child out at all. The old couple only play with their children at home. Some mothers quit their jobs in order to raise their children, but the housework is also very heavy, so it is difficult to spare time to take their children to outdoor activities. In the long run, children's living environment is single, they are only familiar with the people they accompany every day, and gradually lose the ability to communicate with strangers.
Since children lack social intercourse, parents should create social occasions for their children. For example, I often take my child outdoors and let him play with children of the same age. If possible, taking children to early education classes can not only develop their intelligence and cultivate their interests in advance, but also show themselves in front of everyone and establish friends with others with the help of teachers.
2. Natural introversion
Some children are naturally shy and introverted, which is a personality trait carried in their genes. These babies may be shy from childhood and just want to be close to their parents and other familiar people, especially those who meet for the first time. In infancy, they may just cry, and parents think that children are like this and will not care. When children grow up, they are still quiet. Parents think this kind of personality is not good and want their children to change. But you can't force your child to change his personality. Simply saying that the child is timid and blaming the child will only make the child bear pressure, feel frustrated and even lead to inferiority.
In the face of such children, parents should always remember that introversion is not a derogatory term, and there is no good or bad personality. Even if you keep an introverted personality, your child will not become unhealthy. The most important thing is not to encourage children, not to force them to make changes, but to guide them slowly, let them contact others and let them grow up in the most comfortable way. For example, take the children out, let them order their own food and buy what they like. Parents can wait by and patiently solve their children's difficulties and problems.
3. Parents' reasons
As the saying goes, "difficulties are like a spring. You are weak, it is strong. " In fact, the relationship between parents and children is also like spring. The ultimate personality of a child must be the most conducive to his survival and development in the family. In a family, if parents are too strong, children may be forced by this pressure and become timid; If parents are indecisive and weak in character, children are forced to shoulder heavy responsibilities and become strong in character. Parents criticize and scold their children because they are introverted, and children become more timid, which will form a vicious circle.
Because of their own reasons, it has a negative impact on children, making them more and more timid when things happen. In this case, parents should not learn how to guide their children, but should first reflect on their own behavior. Parents should avoid scolding this educational method, fully respect children's personality and choices, create a free environment for growth, replace criticism with encouragement, and make children become positive.
I am a distant mother, to answer the question.
My child has graduated from high school, and I still have mixed feelings when I see this question. I can't help but share my child's painful experience and lessons, hoping to inspire parents with this problem.
My children have been a little timid and not very confident since kindergarten. Although I feel something, I haven't paid enough attention to it. It was not until I went to junior high school that I realized that I should pay attention to it. When I was in high school, I really regretted not paying attention to it when I was in kindergarten. Because until high school, children are more or less inactive in life, study, communication and many other aspects, avoiding problems and shirking responsibilities, which really seriously affects their development. Children's timidity, lack of confidence and weakness need to be corrected from kindergarten. The bigger it is, the worse it is for children's growth, and the harder it is to correct it! So how can parents cultivate their children's self-confidence, cowardice and cowardice? Combined with my child's experience, I think parents should start from the following aspects:
1. Adhere to parent-child reading, the sooner the better. Parents should read and listen to preschool children, and all kinds of picture books are the first choice for reading. In the process of reading with children, parents should put down their utilitarian heart. If they don't ask their children to remember anything or know how many words, they just read them to make them interested. When children find listening to stories and reading picture books as interesting as playing with toys, parents succeed. Because reading can greatly enrich children's horizons and is a channel for children to understand and perceive the world simply, quickly and efficiently. When you are well informed, your children will naturally be confident and not timid.
2. Be patient, tolerant and gentle in the face of children. Especially when children are naughty or make mistakes, we must remember: don't yell or blame loudly, don't beat and scold angrily. Give your child enough tolerance and understanding, and gently and patiently tell him what you want him to do and why you don't want him to do it. In this way, parents lead by example, and in a subtle way, children learn how to communicate with others and how to express their views or ideas. In this way, in communication, children will naturally not be timid, nor will they be unconfident.
3. Insist that children learn a musical instrument or sport. By learning musical instruments or sports, exercise children's perseverance and endurance to setbacks, and cultivate their perseverance. This can not only cultivate children's self-confidence and atmospheric mind, but also become a way for children to release pressure and relax themselves in their later growth, which will really benefit children for life!
I am a distant mother, and the above is what I think in combination with my own experience and feelings. Welcome to read and forward, please criticize and correct me if there is anything wrong! My child used to be extremely insecure, but now he is much better. Share my experience.
When children go to kindergarten, I find that children are afraid to express themselves. I talked to my child, and she said she didn't know how to say it, for fear of making a mistake.
First of all, I found her kindergarten teacher and talked with her teacher about the child's situation, asking the teacher to encourage the child to express himself in school.
I also encourage my children at any time and place, and often show her videos of children of the same age or even younger than her performing alone on stage to stimulate her desire to express.
When playing outside, encourage her to approach children of the same age actively.
After repeated efforts, on New Year's Day last year, I went out and met a shopping mall to engage in activities and invited children to perform on stage. My child took the initiative to go on stage, without shyness or nervousness, and always performed well. A few days ago, as a class representative, she spoke in front of all the teachers and students in the school. She told me when she got home that she was not nervous at all.
Children's lack of self-confidence really worries parents. Encourage children more and give them more opportunities to exercise. For some children, this may be a long process. Parents must be patient and remember not to yell at their children because of this problem, otherwise it will cause more trouble to their children.
Children's timidity and lack of self-confidence are often related to parents' criticism and education. Some parents want their children to work harder and be better, so they keep blaming their children. After a long time, their self-confidence has been hit, and they always feel that they are not as good as others, and hiding behind them has become timid.
So what should we do?
First, don't be a strong parent, be a weak grass.
When children go to kindergarten, they often bring me some hand-made origami made in kindergarten. Of course, the children's works will be rough, but I will look at them carefully, gesticulate in my hand and ask him how they are folded. Children will be very happy to tell me, but also laugh at me, my mother knows nothing, so stupid! At this point, I will "play the essence", continue to play silly and sweet, and ask children a lot of questions. The child immediately felt that he was a superman and could do anything. He told me what to do seriously.
Not only that, I am weak in what children can do, and children will take the initiative to do it. By doing things, children find that they can be so capable, with strength in their hearts and a confident smile on their faces.
Second, children should be encouraged when they are afraid of difficulties.
When the children were in primary school, the teacher assigned a handwritten newspaper elective homework. Children go home with exercise books, don't know how to start, just want to give up, and emphasize to me that this is optional homework, so you can not hand it in. But I wanted him to try, so I told him, "Give it a try. I have a mother to help you. " With my encouragement, the children began to do it. When encountering problems, I will help him collect information online and guide him to think. With my company and encouragement, the child completed the handwritten newspaper and was rated as an excellent homework by the teacher. When the child came home with a proud face, I struck while the iron was hot and told him to try more when he encountered problems in the future and not to give up easily. So today's children are not afraid of anything.
Third, as long as children make a little progress, they must be sure.
A friend of mine is superstitious about stick education and practices it on his children. As a result, his son, who is in the fifth grade of primary school, often has a black and blue ass. I asked my friend, "Did your academic performance go up?" Answer: "Zero eggs, failed, 50 points ..." Did you do well in other aspects? The friend frowned.
A philosopher once said, "The most ardent requirement in human nature is the desire to be affirmed." Appreciation, praise and encouragement are expressions of affirmation to people and are necessary to help children build self-confidence.
Therefore, we can see the progress of children and give them affirmation, and create opportunities for their performance, so as to educate confident children. My boss has been a timid and insecure boy since childhood. I was a timid and self-abased child myself when I was a child. My timidity and inferiority come from my parents' incorrect educational methods. To this end, I resolutely don't allow my children to be like when they were young. Now with my efforts, the boss is no longer timid and more confident.
My parents' reprimand and sarcasm made me timid and inferior, and it took me ten years to get rid of my inferiority complex. Since the first grade, I have learned to do housework. The main reason for my timidity is my parents' reprimand. The reason for the reprimand is that I accidentally broke the bowl, the fried food was salty and cooked too hard ... as long as I did something wrong, I would be reprimanded by my parents. Therefore, I am timid and afraid of others' loud noises and angry expressions.
In order to please my parents since I was a child, I studied hard, did housework seriously, and tried my best to complete the task according to my parents' requirements. However, even if it is done well, it has never been praised by them. In my mother's words, "no parents will praise their children."
It is this concept that makes me feel inferior and feel that I can't do anything. After graduating from college, I stayed away from my parents and gradually dominated my life according to my own wishes. I have also made proud achievements in my work. I gradually walked out of the shadow of inferiority.
Be kind to my children and don't make the same mistake again. As an educator, we should master the correct educational concept. Read more books, think more, pay attention to practice and guide children with positive education. My boss lived with his grandmother since childhood, and she took care of him in every possible way. She is determined not to touch the dirty danger. Children won't collide with each other until they are three years old. Many mothers will say, what a wonderful thing it is! However, grandma's caution also made the child weak. As a boy, I can't stand him growing up to be a cowardly and irresponsible man.
Therefore, since I was three years old, I have been in charge of children's education, from catching bugs, playing with water, playing with sand and playing with dirt ... As long as children want to play, let them play boldly and happily; In reading books, books on science, equipment and criminal investigation have also been specially selected to read with children; When taking children out, in the process of eating, traveling, riding, etc. He often creates opportunities for him to ask the staff for help. Now at the age of ten, he won't flinch from any problems at all.
Therefore, from the first day of junior high school, I only make one request and answer no less than three questions every day. The first thing after school is to ask him to answer some questions. Give him encouragement and appreciation every time he completes three speeches, and the children are also shown by the teachers, and their self-confidence is gradually established. I've been doing this for four years. Now, all the teachers have responded that the children are very serious in class and speak positively. The children began to take the initiative to participate in the class Committee competition and sign up for various competitions.
In short, in order to make children no longer timid and more confident, parents' education methods are very important, respect children's wishes and don't be afraid of children making mistakes; Understand the development level of children and let them try within their abilities; Give children more encouragement and praise, find the right solution to the problem, and promote children to improve step by step.
How can we educate children to become confident? This question is really important. It can be said that self-confidence is an important factor leading to success.
Whether children or adults are confident, they will have many more opportunities than others.
Confident people are positive, optimistic and brave, full of positive energy, can seize many opportunities, are more likely to succeed, and can make people feel trust involuntarily.
I know a child who is average in all aspects, but confident and deeply loved by classmates and teachers. The teacher always makes him monitor. He is more and more confident, loves learning, and his academic performance has been improving. Later, the senior high school entrance examination was admitted to a key high school.
Another child I know is versatile, but she only dares to perform in front of her family, afraid to participate in school activities, for fear of making mistakes and losing face. Because of timidity and inferiority, she missed many opportunities to express herself.
In fact, there are many examples in this respect, and countless examples prove that self-confidence is really too important. How can children become confident?
First, parents should praise their children more. When a child is studying hard, or learning a song, or drawing a picture, etc., even if the child draws badly, sings badly, and his grades are not satisfactory, parents should praise him in time, and the more praise the child has, the better.
Secondly, parents should take their children to see the world. Why don't you go to Wan Li Road to study thousands of books? Taking children out to see the world will broaden their horizons and make them confident. Otherwise, entering the Grand View Garden is just like Granny Liu, who has never seen anything and knows nothing, and it is easy to feel inferior.
Finally, parents should cultivate their children's specialties. Children with Jin Gangzuan are more likely to be self-confident, and most children are timid and inferior because they really don't shine, so it is difficult to be self-confident. Children have bright spots, and naturally they are easy to be confident.
More importantly, parents should also become confident parents. In a subtle way, children are naturally confident. You know, the power of example is infinite.