My son has ADHD. What should I do?
First, you have to figure out what ADHD is.
Tell everyone a fact. After 20 years of psychological counseling, we haven't actually found a child with ADHD. Some children have ADHD, but they are not really ADHD.
Myth 1: ADHD is ADHD.
If your son keeps running around, he can certainly be diagnosed with ADHD. Many parents and friends will say, "Oh, you're right, my child just keeps moving."
"When will it keep moving?"
"Especially when doing homework."
"When did you stop moving?"
Many parents will say, "When watching cartoons, you don't move and don't even eat sorbet." Tell you a diagnostic standard.
Does my son move when watching cartoons? As long as children don't move while doing what they like, they can't be diagnosed with ADHD. If it is really ADHD, he will keep moving uncontrollably. As long as he can't move, it means he can control it.
In fact, parents can judge whether their children have ADHD.
For example, children especially like ice cream and ice cream. As long as there is ice cream, he will sit there and eat it safely, and can't be diagnosed as ADHD. If children can't control themselves when watching cartoons and move around when eating ice cream, it is really ADHD. However, this situation is rare.
According to this standard, ADHD children are often imposed on them in our parents' own consciousness.
For example, we always want children to be like this:
Tao Tao's mother: "Children, recite poems to your mother."
Tao Tao: "OK, Mom, I'll get it." The foot of my bed is shining with such bright light. Is it frosty already? . Looking up, I found that it was moonlight and sank again. I suddenly remembered home, and I kept it in my heart.
Mom: "Good! You recite quickly, recite a few more songs! "
If Tao Tao follows his mother's established way and thinking, his son will say, "Mom, I'll recite another song."
"Ok, you recite another song."
Tao Tao: "The incense burner in the sunshine emits purple smoke. Looking at the waterfall hanging in Qianchuan from afar ... "
Mom: "Ah, I can recite another poem and another!" " "
Tao Tao was impatient and said, "I won't recite it."
Mother was anxious and said, "Why can't you sit still?" ? Just reciting two songs, and that's it? "
In fact, according to the child's memory, Tao Tao can recite a song every day. What concept? It's already quite remarkable. If you have to recite ten songs at once every day, it will be a bit too much for your son to remember one.
However, Tao Tao's mother thought to herself, "My son can't recite a song. The competition is fierce now, and obviously there will be 100 songs. Tao Tao can't recite twenty songs. " So let the son sit for three hours, at least two hours.
Don't talk about children, can parents do it? I don't think anyone can do it. It's probably about the same if you go to the disc. You can fall in love and work, but it's hard for anyone to insist on reciting Tang poems.
Children move more, which is actually imposed on their children by unwise parents. Our son couldn't meet our expectations, so we forced him, so the child became impatient and parents began to label him: "Why are you distracted?" You are ADHD! " Over time, the child will move every time this happens, and the child will get used to it. Parents have also come to the conclusion that the child is "ADHD".
How can I calm my son down?
When Tao Tao was two or three years old, he ran around like a motor. Mom and dad said that the child has ADHD and has been to Beijing and Shanghai. It's no use curing him. Later, I had to ask Mingming's mother for help.
Mingming's mother picked up a whiteboard pen and said to Tao Tao with a smile, "Tao Tao, do you like painting?"
Without further ado, Tao Tao picked up a pen and began to draw. The children drew some unclosed circles.
"What are you drawing?" Mingming's mother asked.
Tao Tao said, "The sun."
Mom and dad immediately interrupted him: "What did you draw here? It's a mess, not at all! "
Tao Tao shouted angrily, "Yes, that's it!" Said the body began to twist.
"It is the sun. Can you draw sharks? " Mingming's mother asked kindly.
"yes." Tao Tao was absorbed in painting again.
Therefore, Tao Tao sat quietly and continued to draw. Five minutes later, I showed the photo to Mingming's mother and said, "This is a shark and a blue cat." Everyone gathered around to watch, apparently praised by her mother. Tao Tao blushed with excitement and explained the characters and stories in the painting. Mom and dad are already a little surprised.
"OK, can you draw anything else?" Encouraged by Mingming's mother, Tao Tao continued to draw. Half an hour passed, and the child hardly moved, and his attention was all on the painting. Tao Tao's parents are so excited that they don't know what to say.
Miracle appeared, Tao Tao continued to create, and the children never ran around again.
Tao Tao's ADHD was immediately cured.
My son doesn't have ADHD at all, but his parents lack correct guidance and spend a lot of money in vain. Tao Tao is not sick at all.
The key is the attitude of parents.
Let's look at the stories of two boys and compare the parents' reactions and behaviors, and then we will know what to do.
Tao Tao and Mingming have classes together in the early education center. Tao Tao kept running around, and Yao kept running around, but after a while, Yao stopped running, while the children in Tao Tao ran around. Look at how our two mothers guided us.
Tao Tao just sat down and stood up again. Tao Tao's mother pulled her son's arm, and with a bang, Tao Tao fell. Mom also said, "Why are you running in class? Why can't you sit quietly for a while? Is it annoying? Mom will hit you if you don't sit down! " Then "pa pa" a few times, Tao Tao's ass was hit by his mother a few times. Tao Tao began to cry, so that everyone couldn't go to class, so he had to take Tao Tao outside to stabilize his mood. When my son is emotionally stable, he has already attended most of the courses here. Tao Tao's mother was angry and anxious, so Tao Tao went to play with toys soon. Tao Tao accidentally ran away again, and her mother leaned forward and walked out of the classroom, ignoring Tao Tao again. Tao Tao was freer when he saw that no one was in charge. He didn't have a good class even if he touched it here and there.
The correct way: camera sensing.
Suggestion 1
Kindergarten: Take the initiative to become curious
See how Mingming's mother does it.
Just after class, I stood up soberly.
Mingming's mother said to her son, "Son, are you going to get the teaching AIDS?" The teacher hasn't called your name yet! Sit and wait for a while, and the teacher will call you soon. "When the teacher called Mingming, Mingming ran to the teacher to get teaching AIDS.
Then mom waved to Mingming, "Come here, son, mom will play with you!" " "Yao Ming ran to his mother and sat down obediently. At this time, my mother will praise Mingming, "My son is so good that he knows that he can't run around in class and must listen to the teacher." "Come on, let's see how this game is done!"
Obviously, after playing this teaching aid twice, I got a little impatient and stood up and ran around. Mom said to Mingming, "Look, son, it took you 40 seconds to play this teaching aid yesterday, and it only took you 35 seconds to finish this teaching aid game today. You're a long time early! If you practice it twice, it may increase to 30 seconds tomorrow, several times more than today. " Obviously, I was very happy, so I immediately sat down and played with teaching AIDS twice.
In this way, a class obviously ended in passionate creation. On the way home, my mother always stressed to passers-by, "Our son was very attentive in class today, and the games were all done. He didn't run or move." When I returned the teaching aid, my son was the first to give it. We didn't take the teacher's things. "
In this way, clearly according to the kind of children imagined by mother and teacher, behave obediently in class. Occasionally, Ming Ming ran to the teaching aid rack to have a look. When my mother waved her hand, she would run back and sit down and wait for the new teaching aid. Mingming's early education classes are always carried out with more than 90% absorption. So obviously the whole brain has been fully developed.
How to turn hyperactivity into curiosity is a magic weapon to treat hyperactive children. Therefore, in this regard, parents should not rigidly arrange their children to go to school, but should change their thinking. It is wise to let children develop naturally, so that parents may gain a lot.
Recommendation 2,
After entering school: reinforcement method.
After graduating from primary school, the situation between Mingming and Tao Tao is still very sharp. As soon as Tao Tao's mother saw the teacher, she said to the teacher, "Teacher, has there been trouble in our Tao Tao recently?" Did he make trouble in class again? Does he often ignore lectures? Does he always speak in class? Tao Tao's mother can always hear the teacher's pertinent answer: "Yes, Tao Tao is always absent-minded in class." . There are always small gestures in class, such as talking, picking hands, looking out of the window, not looking at the blackboard and not listening to the teacher, which also affects other students. How can he sit still? "Run out after class, and the last one enters the classroom when the bell rings."
Tao Tao's mother always flew into a rage when she heard these words. When she came home, she told her father what the teacher said. If her father is unhappy, she will give Tao Tao a good lesson. So Tao Tao's attention is always distracted. Until junior high school, Tao Tao was still extremely active.
Look at the brilliance of Mingming's mother.
Obviously, after primary school, my mother communicated with the teacher like this: "Hello, teacher! Obviously, in the past, he was very focused in early childhood classes and kindergarten classes. He loves studying and attending classes, and sometimes he doesn't want to go after class! I like answering questions and communicating with teachers. Maybe my son will talk more in class. You must ask him more questions, thank you! "
After school, my mother will praise Mingming in this way. "Son, the teacher said you listen attentively in class, without affecting other students or teachers. So, my mother will reward you. Come on, son, give me a hug! "
Sliding text style can be the best substitute for hidden style. As long as there are a few lines behind the title, the following content can only be seen after the slide show, and you have achieved your goal.
Let children gradually focus on their excellent performance, and the problem will be solved. We can't punish what children give up, but we should change our attitude from opposition to recognition. Parents should expect their children to develop according to their own ideals, and the magic weapon they often have to master is to accept their son's emotions, understand his son and agree with his problems.
If we follow this method, our parents' goals can be achieved. The strengthening and weakening of the mother's son's behavior determines the trend of the child's behavior. If you want your son's behavior to develop in a good direction, you should give the child a hint in the form of a clear mother, suggesting that he is a child who pays attention to the class and emphasizing that he has made progress in a few seconds or minutes recently. When the child has the performance of concentration, parents must affirm it in time. If your child has made progress, you are just happy but don't express or only affirm the negative performance of your child. Children will think that they are like this, which will dampen their self-motivation, and bad behavior will not be well corrected.
Professor Zhou Zheng told us:
The root of ADHD comes from the fact that children are always denied. If they are rejected, they will run away, and when they go there, they will be rejected. My son will run until he is sure, and he will be happy to stay there and settle down.