Law of wolf nature
Among the four laws of educating children, the law of wolf nature is the most difficult to implement. Because it is natural for parents to love their children, it is hard for them to have the heart to severely blame their children. Wolves are the most curious animals in the world. They like to do their own research and experience, and are not afraid of danger. Even in hard living conditions, they can find food and survive strongly.
For children, parents should also guide their children's curiosity and learning ability about the world from an early age, so that children can observe and experience life independently. Children educated by the law of wolf nature have more independent personality, can be their own masters in the future life, and have the courage to overcome all kinds of difficulties.
South wind law
The south wind effect is the second of the four laws of educating children. The north wind and the south wind bet to see who is better and who can let pedestrians take off their coats first. The north wind blows violently at pedestrians, who just wrap their clothes more and more tightly; The south wind just swept gently, and people took off their clothes because of the heat.
The so-called south wind effect tells parents that tolerance is stronger than punishment. If parents always use severe criticism to "educate" their children, it is better to understand their shortcomings in a softer way and deal with their various problems from an objective, rational and scientific perspective. "Tender love" is more acceptable to children than "violent love".
River and marine law
Another of the four laws of educating children is the law of rivers and seas. The fish raised in fish tanks are not as big as those raised in ponds, and the fish raised in ponds are not as big as those raised in rivers. The biggest whale can only live in the sea. The law of river and sea tells parents that the education of children is the same, and the growth of children needs free space. If you only give your child a small space, no matter what needs to be arranged by your parents, your child will lose the ability of self-development and grow up to be stereotyped.
Rosenthal effect
The last rule of educating children is the Rosenthal effect. In Greek mythology, Pygmalion, king of Cyprus, fell in love with the statue of a girl made by himself. The king's love moved Aphrodite, the goddess of love, who injected life into the statue. With the realization of foreign fantasies, Cypriots were born.
The Rosenthal effect tells parents that every "stupid child" was originally like that lifeless sculpture, but their potential is infinite. This requires parents and teachers to give their children enough love and care, believe, expect and cherish their children, and let them find "life" from love and get miracles.
Parents must know: ten principles and taboos for parents to educate their children.
How should parents educate their children? Parents can be said to be the first enlightenment teachers in preschool children's lives, so parents' early education methods will affect their children's lives. What should parents pay attention to in order to better educate their children?
Principles for parents to educate their children.
Give the child a choice
It is very important to let children do things according to their own interests, which is also one of the best ways to help children succeed. If you let your child feel that she has the freedom to choose ballet or aerobics, she will work harder to do the one she chooses.
Accept him as he is.
If you are only interested in whether your child is the best reader in the class, you expect too much. Every child grows at his own pace. Comparing your child with other children will make him feel that if he doesn't study and do things according to a certain standard, he is a failure.
Are there any hidden difficulties?
Have you ever asked your children why they suddenly don't want to take part in group activities and do their homework? Maybe he will speak his mind under your questioning-he has been bullied by bad children, he doesn't like his teacher and so on. If a child becomes unmotivated, he usually has a reasonable reason.
State your reasons.
If you don't want your child to give up piano education because you are sure it will be good for him, what will you do? Whatever you want to do, don't yell at the child and scold him at the top of your lungs. After shouting for a few minutes, he stopped listening to what you were saying.
Attach importance to the role of praise
Praise must be targeted. Just say "well done" and he will know that you haven't really noticed him and his achievements.
Wise reward
Parents will promise that if children do well in the exam, they will get a bike; If you don't do well in the exam, you will get nothing. In fact, it is a terrible attitude to treat children like this. Parents are advised not to give their children too much reward. Besides, what taboos should parents pay attention to when educating their children? The taboo for parents to educate their children is condescending.
This may be a legacy of tradition. Many parents always show a condescending momentum when facing their children. Experts say: parents and children are equal in personality. If parents always pretend to be parents, even if parents' criticisms are sometimes 100% correct, children will be "verbally dissatisfied". Therefore, experts suggest that parents should kneel down and talk to their children, so that everyone will feel good.
Require perfection
After all, the child is still young. When he is not good at bedding, painting or throwing the ball, his parents should not criticize his performance. If parents always tell their children severely that "you are still far from it", they will hurt their self-esteem intentionally or unintentionally.
Praise often
Don't think that appreciation education means constantly praising children. Actually, this is a misunderstanding. To a greater extent, it means understanding and encouraging children. Too much unnecessary praise will only make children complacent. Moreover, after listening to the exaggerated praise of parents, you may only listen to good words and not listen to negative opinions after entering the society, and your life is easy to be frustrated. Too many restrictions, the world in children's eyes and the world in parents' eyes can't be the same. Too many parents' restrictions will make children feel bound, which is the most disgusting thing for children.
Care too much
"Who called today?" "What is written in the diary?" Parents should ask everything clearly; You should know that excessive concern will only make children feel disgusted, because children will feel that their world has been disturbed by their parents and their living space is being compressed, thus losing the opportunity for special development and even causing my rebellious psychology.
Completely deny
When some parents criticize their children, they often make mistakes of excessive criticism, such as "you always lie" and "no one in our family is as stupid as you". These words will certainly arouse children's resentment, which will lead to refusal to accept criticism and education, and even the idea of "breaking the jar and breaking the fall".
Fail to distinguish right from wrong
"The child is catching up with his father in drinking." Is this a compliment or a criticism? Maybe there will be more praise elements in children's understanding! Therefore, when parents criticize their children, they must talk about the facts and let them know where he is wrong.
Derogate others
It is natural to compare their children with children of the same age occasionally, but parents see the advantages of other children more. How can such education achieve good results?