The first two chapters of this book touched me:
1. Raising children is like planting trees. It will grow into its original appearance, and it needs material foundation, spiritual companionship and room for growth.
2. Enjoy the moment, look at things from another angle, and it will be wonderful in an instant. The same painting, one angle is the old man, and the other angle is the beautiful young girl.
3. Use of tools: encourage children's behavior, punish alternative methods, formulate appropriate rules, empathize and communicate.
It is the same as the parenting concept in game parenting and parent-child communication, and even the same as Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, that is to say, the needs of adults are also interlinked.
Educating children is related to the management of enterprises and the survival of nature. This reminds me of the Heaven in Laozi's Tao Te Ching. Everything will have an invisible Tao to guide us. When we conform to the principles of Tao, we can get the desired results, and vice versa.
For me, there are no children at present, and I can't experience the actual effect of this knowledge in parenting. It is difficult to combine knowledge with practice, but it also gives me a perspective other than parenting, that is, to look at myself through these parenting points, which can make me reflect on the education I received since childhood and the impact on myself now. This is a good way and opportunity to know myself. At the same time, these points can also enable me to empower personal growth, workplace relations and interpersonal communication from the perspective of an adult. I found another perspective, which is also particularly useful in my work and life.
I don't have any management experience, but when I first came into contact with management, the concept of management was still a blank sheet of paper. Looking back on my previous experience, I will find that my first obstacle in management is communication.
Not simply talking, but not communicating in the right way. What is the correct way to communicate? In fact, it is communication with children. It can be said that children are the most difficult to communicate and the easiest to communicate.
It's difficult to communicate: children can't understand what you say. If you try to reason with your children, it's that talking with a chicken and a duck will make you collapse, unlike the world of adults, a word, a look and an expression can make the other person understand.
Easy to communicate: children's world is simple and beautiful. You just need to understand his needs, give him love and understanding, and you will become his most solid support. He will trust and love you unconditionally. In the adult world, there are many intrigues, so there will be many dimensions to think about, and dealing with people will be very tiring.
But I found that the tools used to give children are also very suitable for the adult world. In fact, the world of adults seems complicated, but people's basic needs are no different from those of children, and Maslow's hierarchy of needs should also be followed.
Incentive behavior: We also need all kinds of incentives and positive feedback to support us to do better.
Punishment substitution method: we don't like to be punished, and we also have various emotions. Punishment can make us rebel, but we need to manage the team well, which is more about coaching than punishment. Managers don't need to consider how to punish employees' bad behavior, but what kind of management system should be set up to guide employees to work actively. In fact, the core is the same as Laozi's moral classics. For managers, they should do nothing on themselves, let employees have enough to eat and earn money.
Empathy: this is the basis for dealing with any relationship and contradiction, and it is also the basis for truly considering the problem from the other side's perspective. At present, I know this method, but I can't fully empathize and communicate with empathy in practice, but I believe that deliberate practice can help me improve.
Communication: I have never been good at communication. I have read some books on communication before, but I always feel that I have knowledge, but it is not easy to use it myself. Looking back on all kinds of communication problems, the key is that there will be communication jams and fears. I am afraid or unwilling to communicate. More psychological factors, or my own screenwriter psychology. Because of a communication, I will think about it. The root cause lies in my inner aversion to loss. I think if I communicate like this, I will have a bad influence. On the contrary, I feel that I won't touch the line of fire without communication, so I can stay calm as long as I don't touch the line of fire. It makes people feel safer than a sudden explosion, but it is this kind of escape that makes them feel uncomfortable all the time. They always feel that there is a pimple there, which may break out at any time, putting them in danger and always in fear and trepidation. Now, instead, I read the book on education and early education, and I see that the treatment of various contradictions with children lies in communication. Knowing the steps of communicating with children and then reflecting on the communication between adults is not so difficult. I think this is probably an inertial thinking: I think adults' problems are difficult, while children's world is simple, but the underlying logic is the same. In the world of adults, simple things can be complicated, while in the world of children, complex things can be solved in a very simple way.
These are some of my insights from reading the first two chapters of this book. This book is suitable for the following people:
1. Parents with cute babies can help build a parenting knowledge system from theory to practice.
2. Parents who are about to become novices are A Jin's classic parenting and early education books.
3. People who like to look at the world through introspection can complement each other by reading children's books: from the simple world to the complex world. Perhaps, we think the world is too complicated, and we can return to simplicity. The principle is the same.