What kind of child do you want to raise? Children's health is very important to parents. Whether the baby is healthy or not, there is no need to see a doctor. Some symptoms can be seen by yourself. Let's share what kind of child you want to raise and related information.
What kind of children do you want to raise? 1 The training direction is: trinity of mind, brain and physical strength, and sound personality.
Separate.
The first, physical strength, is the physical quality of children, so that children have a healthy and strong body. Therefore, as long as I have time, I will take my children to run, jump, play ball, outdoor sports and so on. She is now in kindergarten, which is basically the fastest, farthest and tallest in the class.
The second, brain power, is the intellectual development of children. I think this is what most parents attach great importance to, but it is the part where I spend the least time. I usually chat with her every day, read books before going to bed, and then play chess occasionally, but fortunately, so far, I have performed well intellectually and my thinking is clear. I know 80% of the words I see every day, and my chess skill is estimated to be higher than mine soon.
The last point, spiritual efforts, is what I value most. The scope of mental work is very large. I condense it into key psychological qualities and core psychological qualities, such as self-confidence, desire to explore, sense of purpose, perseverance and internal motivation. In fact, many ideas about family education and parenting that I usually come into contact with are mainly about improving my ability in this area.
Is there a sequence of these "three forces"?
In fact, there is no so-called order in the Trinity. If there must be an order, from the perspective of starting, I will put physical strength first. "Health is the capital of revolution" is completely correct. More importantly, physical quality will greatly affect the development of psychological quality (yes, to a large extent).
Then which is the most important?
As far as composition is concerned, they are all important because they restrict each other. But from the perspective of advantage development, I will put "mental work" at the core. Because this is the underlying logic and core of human development, no matter what kind of development goals you want your children to have in the future, what kind of career they are engaged in, how much they want to achieve and how high their quality of life is, these key psychological qualities must be indispensable.
Everything is a system and a whole. Although it can be divided, it needs to be combined! People are all the same, and so are their academic qualifications.
What kind of child do you want to raise? When they are babies, novice mothers are anxious because their children eat, drink and sleep a little differently. If they are educated a little, they will be troubled by the ranking of their grades, followed by the formation of various good habits. When you see something unsatisfactory, you are eager to point it out and hope that your child will change.
However, this is not up to the mother. When children grow up and have a stronger sense of self, you will find that educating children is the most difficult thing in the world, and there is no one. We are anxious to find ways to make our children better. How to make children fall in love with learning? How to make children listen to themselves? In fact, what is needed behind these problems is not the method, but the parents' own choice. What kind of child do we want to raise?
Which is more important, the child's score or the child?
Which is more valuable, immediate ranking or long-term development?
Think clearly about the ultimate goal, and then go to life to find details, find ways, what should I do.
Whatever you choose, it means giving up something at the same time. For example, if you choose your child's feelings, you can't pay attention to your child's scores, so don't stare at them. If you choose to cling to your child's grades, you will fight a protracted war with your child, your child may be unhappy, and your relationship may be deadlocked.
Before solving children's problems, parents should first think clearly about what they want. The following choices were put forward by Dr. Dong Jinyu in a series of family education courses. You might as well think about them seriously, which may enlighten your teaching experience:
1, do you want to train your child to be your own master, or a good boy who always listens?
2. Do you want to train your child to be an independent person, or do you want to be the mouthpiece of others?
If children want to have their own opinions, they should cultivate their independent thinking ability and allow them to have different views from their parents.
Practice: Let children talk more and learn to listen to children.
Do you want to train your child to be an honest man or a liar?
100% of children's lies are forced by their parents. Under high pressure, people have to bow their heads. Parents are absolutely authoritative in front of their children. The reason why children learn to lie is to avoid accusations. If children can handle every mistake properly, I think they are willing to tell them frankly. Don't label, let alone look at the mistakes made by children from the perspective of adults. If you are at the age of a child, you may not be as good as a child.
Practice: Give children full understanding and allow mistakes.
4. Do you want to train your child to be a dignified person or a snob in have it both ways?
The dignity of children comes from the respect of parents at first. Bullying and bullying means that children have no dignity. If you want to cultivate a dignified child, you must respect the child, and don't beat and scold him, dig at him or hurt him with words.
Practice: treat children as leaders and talk to them like leaders.
5. Do you want to train your children to be trustworthy or faithless?
90% of parents in China don't keep their promises to their children. To cultivate children's trustworthiness, parents should first keep their promises. Children's basic personality model is formed by imitating their parents, making them feel that they are the most important people in their parents' lives.
Practice: Be cautious in words and deeds, and match words with deeds.
What kind of children do you want to raise? Before becoming a teacher, I worked in an early education institution. At that time, colleagues often laughed and said that parents should get a license first, because most parents didn't know why they wanted to be parents, what kind of children they wanted to train, and there was no correct way to train their own children.
In the conversation with most parents, we found that parents want their children to be capable, so what is the interaction mode of most families? -severe and arrogant.
Strict means excessive control. There are rules but no choices. You have to do whatever I ask you to do, and you have to obey the rules from where to play to the order of taking a shower.
Arrogance means no restrictions, freedom but no rules, unlimited choices, and even children who want to eat spicy strips for breakfast in the morning will be willing. This way is called respect.
What is the ability? What are capable people like? In the positive discipline, it is necessary to clearly put forward "seven important perceptions and skills" to become a capable person.
1, perception of personal ability-"I can do it." I believe many mothers have a deep understanding of this. They bought breakfast for their children 10 yuan separately, and repeatedly reminded them to pay attention to safety. The children said, "Don't worry, I can do it." This sentence is a child's perception of personal ability.
2. Perception of my value in important relationships-"My contribution is valuable, and everyone really needs me." One day after breakfast, a child in our class went to the office in frustration and said to me, "Teacher, the student union caught me taking breakfast from the canteen today and deducted 1 point. Sorry, I will definitely not deduct points in class in the future. " The children know very well how important this is to the class. This is perception.
3. Views on my strength or influence in life-"I can influence what happens to me." Last month, two boys in our class played "card toss" together. Later, all the boys in the class began to play, and finally the whole third floor began to play like this. The two boys proudly said, "We invented this game".
4. Strong self-examination ability: the ability to understand personal emotions and use this understanding to achieve self-discipline and self-control.
5. Strong interpersonal skills: good at cooperating with others, and establishing friendship on the basis of communication, cooperation, consultation, sharing, affection and listening. 4 and 5 are easy to understand, so I won't explain them.
6. Strong overall grasping ability: treat all kinds of restrictions and behavioral consequences in daily life with a sense of responsibility, adaptability, flexibility and integrity. It is forbidden to bring snacks into the campus, but in fact, many children like to eat snacks and drink, and even eat snacks as meals. But how can children solve it at school? Many children I interviewed said, "Nothing, I'll eat two more bowls of rice." "Nothing, I'll drink two more bowls of soup at noon." What a flexible child!
7. Strong judgment: use wisdom to evaluate the situation according to appropriate values. For example, when I went for a spring outing, one of my classmates stayed. At this time, the monitor found out and turned to look for it alone. Or should we ask the big troops to stop first? Or invite students to find it alone? This is the ability to judge.
Why is it difficult for a strict and arrogant family to cultivate such a comprehensive quality child?
In a strict family, children's perception of personal ability, interpersonal ability and judgment ability are very weak, because someone arranges everything, because someone always takes the lead. In a pampered family, the child's self-examination, interpersonal skills and overall grasp ability are not enough, because few people tell him right or wrong, and few people remind him of his discretion.