Through this article, you will get:
1. What is the "Hedgehog Rule"?
2. The influence of "Hedgehog Rule" on intimacy.
3. How should couples get along?
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Hedgehog rule source:
On a cold winter night, two little hedgehogs cuddled and slept to keep warm, but they found this way of sleeping particularly uncomfortable. The thorns on themselves and each other often sting each other. They are very sad and anxious.
Then they try to keep a certain distance and sleep separately. Soon they felt that they could feel each other's body temperature without being stabbed by each other's thorns, and finally they both fell asleep comfortably.
First of all, what is the "Hedgehog Rule"
1 is a kind of distance control of intimacy.
Hedgehog rule can only be embodied in interpersonal relationships, and it is a universal rule, which is applicable to all kinds of relationships, especially intimate relationships.
Without intimacy, there is no hedgehog rule.
Hedgehog rule was born to solve the distance problem in intimate relationship. Many people in intimate relationships can't grasp what distance is, which leads to many problems.
2. Require that the distance between each other is not far or near.
Furthermore, the hedgehog law requires that the distance should not be too far, which means that you can neither ignore your partner nor keep your partner.
The distance requirement in this law has long been confirmed and used by many great men, and all of them have achieved good results.
The distance should not be too far, which is also the top priority of the hedgehog rule. People are required to have an accurate grasp of distance control. How can I make the other person feel warm and concerned without feeling out of breath?
3. An appropriate partnership model
The hedgehog rule is also based, that is, it must exist on the basis of the relationship between two or more people.
Hedgehog rule doesn't mean that two people in intimate relationship will repel each other and can't cooperate.
On the contrary, the Hedgehog Rule is an appropriate mode of partnership, which emphasizes that partners are not always tied together, nor live together without communication. They should adopt a cooperative attitude and method to win at a certain spatial distance from each other.
And such cooperation is also a benign cooperation mode that does not need too much dependence and oppression.
Second, the influence of "Hedgehog Rule" on intimacy.
1. Avoid marriage falling into a dull abyss.
Among intimate relationships, marriage is the closest and most important.
Many women report that after being married to their husbands for many years, they are not in bad feelings, nor are they disgusted with each other. They just feel that their marriage is too ordinary and formal, and they see the same faces all day, simply looking for a lover.
This is a kind of death that marriage is easy to encounter, and marriage is easy to fall into a dull abyss at this point.
Only the hedgehog rule can work on it. The principle of Hedgehog Law tells us to keep our distance. Too dull and uninspired marriage is often the result of both husband and wife not knowing how to keep their distance. When two people stay together every day and do the same thing, they will naturally get bored.
Hedgehog law will tell us to keep a proper distance, so that distance creates a layer of obscurity and mystery.
2. Avoid more unnecessary contradictions.
In fact, we can think about it. How many times have we quarreled with each other in intimate relationships? How many times have we quarreled because of trivial matters, and we will regret it afterwards?
It's all because we may be too close.
Hedgehog's law tells us that distance produces beauty, and many ugly things will explode in short distance or zero distance.
For example, if you go to work with your lover every day, then the other person is willing to drive and you want to walk, so it is easy to have differences and it is unnecessary. Just don't go to work with each other every day.
This is also a great extension of the hedgehog rule.
3. It is conducive to refreshing the intimate relationship model.
Many people have many problems and defects in their intimate relationship, the most typical performance is that the fault tolerance rate is too low, and the fundamental reason for the low fault tolerance rate is that they have a lot of dissatisfaction with each other, and these dissatisfaction are caused by their proximity.
This is a vicious circle of getting along, and the hedgehog rule will make couples jump out of this endless cycle and look at the problem with a more inclusive and objective eye. We may find that it is often more thorough to look at the problem from a new angle and a distant angle.
Third, how should couples get along?
1, don't do the same thing every day.
Former French President Charles de Gaulle has an extended application of the hedgehog rule. Neither his secretary nor the government team has served for more than two years. He believes that this is because if the same group of fixed people follow him for a long time, they will have a strong sense of dependence over time, which is not conducive to their own ability growth.
In couples, we should also abandon this fixed thinking. A couple should not think that they are happy to do something for the first time and then do the same thing every holiday. In the long run, everyone will feel bored.
Couples should discover and explore new tricks and new activities from the little things around them.
Don't take small problems too seriously.
Many couples have low tolerance for each other. In fact, to some extent, this is also a relationship in which their personalities are too serious.
Strictly speaking, no one likes serious people, because the more serious you are, the more likely you are to make them feel suffocated and angry.
Therefore, in order to keep a proper distance, lovers must not take everything seriously, but must fight for it.
Don't take "caring" for each other as an excuse.
Some couples like to "stick" together every day. More often, one person habitually sticks to another person for the same reason: I care about you.
In fact, if you really care about each other's intimate relationship, it won't be like this. If you really care about the other half, you should care about the feelings of the other person who sticks to you every day, not whether you care about the other person.
To sum up, the Hedgehog Rule has played a lot of roles in intimate relationship, which is a brand-new conceptual model of intimate relationship and a tool to avoid many contradictions. Couples should learn to use the hedgehog rule and get along normally.
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No one likes to be stuck by one person all the time, even if that person is close to himself, anyone will be out of breath.
This is often a huge misunderstanding of the intimate relationship between people, and there is still a lot of room for improvement.