Several children can talk and laugh when they are alone with their parents and relatives, and their emotions are natural and there is no abnormal performance. But if an outsider comes to the house, it's like a different person. You have to be hugged by your family, leave a shadow for each other, or simply hide in a room without strangers. If he is asked to follow his parents to visit relatives and friends, he will not even think about it, even if he goes, he will not enter the door; They usually refuse to go to any strange place and don't want to make friends with their children, but prefer to be alone with toys at home; Show resistance to going to kindergarten and primary school.
What behaviors are related to "withdrawal"
Five-year-old Tian Tian is white and clean with beautiful eyes. Everyone says she looks like a girl. And his character is surprisingly quiet. He usually likes to read comic books, cartoons, play with toys or listen to grandma's stories alone. He seldom goes out to play with children and does not invite them to his house. Tian Tian is fine. If you tell him what you can't do, you will remember it, so the family will never worry about his risky behavior. But compared with children of the same age, docile Tian Tian is withdrawn, timid, afraid of dogs and cats, and even afraid to touch the white rabbit; The biggest headache for parents is not wanting to go to kindergarten. The teacher said that he seldom talked, was uncomfortable playing with children or being named by the teacher in front of everyone, and rarely participated in group activities. Grandma loves her grandson dearly, fearing that her children will bully him, so she simply leaves him at home from time to time.
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Tian Tian's performance can't be simply summed up as "honesty" and "obedience", because there are many honest and obedient children, but they don't reject children, refuse to try new activities, and don't avoid going to strange environments. However, Tian Tian's loneliness, silence, timidity and communication anxiety showed an obvious tendency to retreat in his behavior.
He introduced that children's withdrawal behavior is manifested in interpersonal withdrawal, new things withdrawal and daily activities withdrawal. These three manifestations will exist at the same time in some children, and some children are the most prominent in interpersonal communication. These behaviors are embodied in the following aspects: at home, they don't like to talk, but they communicate naturally with their families, showing a fear or avoidance attitude towards their guests; Like a person in kindergarten, or timidly and reluctantly follow the children to participate in group games, and never take the initiative to answer questions; In rare outdoor activities, it is difficult to actively participate in other children's games, and greeting strangers is also shy and at a loss. Most of these children lack self-confidence. Although they feel more comfortable when they are alone, they often feel depressed, lonely and anxious. Dr. Zhen said that it is normal for a child to suddenly enter a strange new environment or show fear and retreat when encountering unexpected fright, but as he gradually adapts to the new environment, the situation will be greatly improved. Children who shrink back are always incompatible with the new environment and difficult to adapt to the new life; Lack of creativity. Therefore, we should intervene in them as soon as possible, otherwise, if left unchecked, they may continue into adulthood, which will have a negative impact on their personality formation, their own development and life. In severe cases, it can also lead to autism.
What should parents do if children flinch?
1. Hold a family performance
Playing games is a good helper to improve children's withdrawal behavior. At first, the game was played by family members, and everyone played a role. The content can be telling stories, singing or performing puppet shows. Of course, give children the roles and opportunities to talk the most. At this time, the whole family should encourage the child with applause and give him confidence. When a child falls in love with this game, ask the child's permission and invite one or two uncles, aunts or children he knows well to be spectators. Parents should say to them in advance: "Be sure to praise the children." With this successful experience, parents will create more opportunities and encourage their children to "perform" in front of more outsiders.
2. The baby also participates in social activities.
Parents can arrange some "social" activities for their baby, instead of strengthening his cowardice, encourage him to participate. For example, invite a few friends, colleagues or neighbors with children of the same age to play in the suburbs for a day, and adults and children will climb mountains, play games or chase on the grass together; You can also go to the playground together. Influenced by the surrounding environment, the shrinking children can gradually integrate into it. Of course, parents should pay attention to it at first, and even teach their children how to get into their children's games bit by bit. Don't forget to praise him as long as there is a little progress. It would be better if one of my friends is older than the shrinking baby. At this time, my father = mother entrusts my brother and sister to lead them to play.
3. Failure is also wealth
For children, experiencing failure is also a fortune. Therefore, when children have the desire to try and explore new things in the outside world, what parents have to do is to help them, and it is absolutely not advisable to retreat. When he encountered setbacks and failures, his parents took the initiative to help him analyze the reasons and find a better solution. If you reprimand and accuse rudely, it will cause great psychological harm to children, so that you will take an evasive attitude towards things you have not done or things you have not done well. Another point is to believe in children's ability, give them certain autonomy and opportunities, and learn to manage themselves.