The police came to the door and advised the child: Your parents took you away, who will take care of you? The background music of the video is that kind of lovely and cheerful music, but it makes me sad: the tears of adults may sometimes be insincere, but the pain of children is 100%.
Shouldn't children love their mothers the most? When I was a child, I couldn't help crying every time I watched the movie "Mom loves me again" in Taiwan Province Province and heard the song "Only Mom is good in the world". When did the mother become the enemy of the child?
After the emperor was destroyed, there were only two kinds of people left in China who still had absolute authority over another group of people. The first is the referee on the football field, and the second is the parents.
Did you take it out on your Xiong Haizi when you were in a bad mood and extremely upset?
Since your children entered primary school, have you started to regard their academic performance as a top priority? What makes you most happy is that your child got a high score in the exam?
When the children are older and start to rebel, they will not listen and argue with you everywhere. When they are unable to speak out, are your methods to deal with them becoming simple and rude?
When they reach puberty, do you start to stop children from puppy love like a thief?
When they graduate from college, do you start urging marriage every day again? Get married and start having children?
Parents always have a grand and cruel reason: I did it for your own good! This kind of legal and moral kidnapping is essentially "hooliganism".
Do you know what children really think? When you start complaining that they only know how to play games with their mobile phones, do you really walk into their hearts? Under the ruthless destruction of you for more than ten years, lucky children may become heartless, and the most feared thing is to become sensitive, inferior and even depressed. Have you thought about it? Do you have any communication problems with your children?
The mobile phone brushed a video titled "Both husband and wife are masters of 985, and the woman spits out that the third son is' school scum': the father's anger has a second heart attack". Since I have children, whenever I see such videos or words, I will watch them more or less for a while. The content of the video is probably about a mother introducing her and her husband's knowledge background and how hard it is to raise a child. As a result, the child began to hate learning in the third year of high school. Even if he didn't learn well, he was still an asshole. Her father was angry twice. At the end of the video, her mother seemed to sum up: "I don't have any expectations for my child now, as long as she is safe, healthy and happy." Listening to this tone, I feel that this mother seems to be terminally ill. After a very painful illness, she suddenly recovered and gave up treatment.
I'm really curious, this parent, are you sending this short video to vent your dissatisfaction or to embarrass your children? Don't tell me you're here to brush traffic.
I am a little nervous when I go home at seven or eight o'clock every night and climb the stairs to the second floor, because I often hear my mother's reprimand from a window on the second floor: How did you get such a small score in the exam? ! Are you lying? Is that all the homework the teacher gave you? ! Is this word pronounced like this? How many times have I taught you? ! Do you think dad will help you? ! What's the use of a child like you growing up? ! Occasionally, my father will say a word or two to help.
God, I want to knock on the door several times and ask the elder sister: Do you really resent the child's abuse? How can a child put his fear and anxiety in this small space with no exit?
I have a friend five or six years older than me. His children have been with him from elementary school to junior high school, and he has invited countless tutors. During the preparation for the senior high school entrance examination, he gave up all his work to accompany his children and made more than a dozen sets of simulation questions himself. I told him several times: Brother, do you have to spell it like this? The friend's answer is sincere and helpless: no way. Everyone else knows. If you don't fight now, you won't even have a chance to fight in the future. Finally, you will remind me earnestly: I didn't think it was necessary to play like this before, and you will understand when the child reaches this age. I almost stood up when I heard it.
I have a female friend who is a warm-hearted sister. Several times recently, I wanted to have dinner, hang out and chat with my two families. My sister is very helpless: the child has no time, and the senior high school entrance examination will be held next semester. Now I can't wait to split a minute into two, and I have to arrange two days of tutoring on weekends.
Every time I listen to my eldest sister, I think, it's not like the senior high school entrance examination is coming soon, there are still more than half a year left. Is it really necessary to keep him so busy?
I also brushed a vibrato video today. A girl named 1 19: Hello, are you in charge of collecting bodies? Tears of despair. Rescuers arrived at the address and found that the girl had jumped into the cold river. 19 years old, she is depressed. Her parents wanted her to continue studying, but she quietly found a job herself. The police rescued the girl in time. There is no life-threatening at present, and the body temperature has recovered. But how can her heart be warm?
This video reminds me of a three-page suicide note of a 14 Shanghai girl that was circulated on the Internet some time ago. The suicide note said to her parents: I am honored to meet you once in my life. If there is an afterlife, we will never meet again. Does a child's heart need to die hundreds of times to say goodbye to his biological parents in this way?
The news a few years ago, many people still remember: on the Huangpu River Bridge, in the long queue of traffic jams, a boy opened the door and jumped off the Huangpu River despite his mother's stop. Doesn't that boy know that it will be painful for his mother to do so? He knew that he would use this pain to punish his mother. Mom, I know you are in pain, but do you understand my pain?
The Seventh People's Hospital of Hangzhou is a hospital that mainly treats mental diseases. According to experts Xie Jian and Tan, 90% of the patients who came to the hospital came to see depression, of which 1/3-2/5 was a depressive patient under 8 years old, and 1/4 was an inpatient under 8 years old.
What anxious parents can educate so many unhappy children!
Let's analyze the source of parents' anxiety.
First of all, the atmosphere of the whole society is that everyone is anxious, and they are a little embarrassed if they are not anxious.
A friend told me that her big treasure has always been "free-range" and she is not allowed to learn anything profound before going to school. As a result, she regrets it very much now. Because many other students attended many early education courses before going to primary school, her son couldn't keep up with other students in many places after going to primary school. As a result, when educating Bauer, who was five years younger than her, she began to "repent". At the age of one, she began to teach literacy, read English and learn arithmetic. At the age of two, she began to learn to use chopsticks. At the age of three, I began to professionally train table tennis. My son's daily "progress" was exposed in the circle of friends ... Many parents think that if you don't work hard, your child will fall behind. Children have self-esteem.
Really, parents are anxious, which is a common social phenomenon.
This sense of social collective anxiety gives education and training institutions an opportunity to further promote "anxiety". Someone once joked that the collapse of middle-aged men began with entering the elevator. They looked up and saw advertisements for medical beauty on the left, hair loss on the right and teaching and training in the middle. Education and training institutions tirelessly instill in you the idea that if only 1% of children can eventually become useful people, then you must make your children become that 1%!
The question is, why is your child that 1%?
The state's rectification of the education and training industry this year is to disinfect these poisoned chicken soup. Giving one student chicken blood may improve his score, while giving all students chicken blood will only improve his score. If the enrollment of key universities does not increase, what is the difference between everyone tightening and everyone loosening?
I really like what Professor Zheng Qiang of Zhejiang University once said: Life is a marathon. At the beginning, you should push too hard, but be careful of the lack of stamina. I also like another sentence he said: Let's go to Hangzhou Wildlife Park. Which bear is sitting properly?
Isn't it natural for children to be naughty and jump around? Killing children's innocence and curiosity, our nation has gained a cold GDP and a rigid thousand people. Is this really what we want?
There are still many parents whose anxiety comes from their unsatisfactory living conditions and from not letting my children repeat their miserable lives. Many mothers will tell their daughters that you must find a rich man, or a man like your mother will really suffer for life when he marries your father! Many mothers tell their sons that you must study hard and earn a lot of money when you grow up, otherwise you will be scolded by his wife for life like your father! To put it bluntly, many parents take pains to instill their anxiety into their children.
Success is accidental. Ma Yun also said that it is impossible for you not to try to be the second me. Sadly, many of our parents have fallen into this collective unconsciousness. If children don't succeed in the secular sense, their lives will be meaningless. These parents don't want their children to be recognized by themselves, but want their children to be recognized by others.
My Lord, you said I did it for your own good. Have you ever thought that "children" will really be "good"?
As adults, couples can choose to divorce, mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law can choose not to live together, and bosses can choose to resign if they disagree. But children, they have no choice, we want them to come into this world, we want to raise them in our own way, and we ask children to be what we want to be.
It's creepy to think that parents don't have to take the exam
Many years ago, I first saw this sentence by Japanese writer Kotaro Isaka, and it was immediately imprinted on my mind. At that time, I was not married and had no father.
Children are the most innocent. They grew up under the protection of their parents. Everything we say and do is shaping their personality. They have no choice but not to be our children. Tragedy can happen when they can't love their parents and escape from them.
Don't touch the child!
Parents, please calm down and think about it. Do you expect your children to support you in the future?
Most people probably don't have this idea, so why do you ask so much of him? As long as he can grow up healthily and happily, don't take crooked ways and support himself, isn't that enough?
Only one in a hundred children will eventually become a "useful person" in the secular sense, so relax. 1% probability will not be your child. In the process of children's growth, please put down their parents' ridiculous pride and conceit and make friends with them seriously. When you are free, take them to the playground, dance with them, listen to their nonsense, take them to nature, go to road trip, and take time to patiently tell children a story. Please try to smile in front of them. If you really can't hold back yelling at your child, give your child a hug in time and put down your sad shelf.
China's ordinary parents born after 400 million 80s and 90s, which one of you has never worked hard for the growth of your children and consumed your own hair. Looking back, you may complain that your life is not worth it, but if you are given another chance, it is estimated that you will still go back to the old road without looking back. After experiencing many disappointments and helplessness, you still comfort yourself with the famous words of Empress Dowager Cixi: Poor inheritance!
I am fortunate to be a parent in this life. Please ask yourself, do children need us more or do we need children more?
As parents, let your children go, and in this way, let yourself go.