Normal subjects have a "belief-feeling-behavior" system. Everyone has different beliefs, so in the face of the same thing, we may have different feelings, and different feelings and beliefs urge us to do different behaviors. Judging from the examples we often encounter of feeding children or letting them eat by themselves, grandma may be in a hurry, and she will feed her children. Grandma's belief/idea may be that food is everywhere and it is too much trouble to clean up. And the mother may be very calm, and the mother lets the children eat by themselves. Mother's belief/idea is that children can eat by themselves, train hand-eye coordination and promote brain development. Whose belief is right?

There is no right or wrong belief, it is a person's subjective idea. So everyone has their own beliefs, and everyone's life experience deserves to be respected. Think about ourselves again. We can't change some concepts and habits formed over the past 30 years. How can an old man in his sixties and seventies change them?

2. Lower expectations and be yourself.

There is a popular saying that the ideal is full and the reality is very skinny. The gap between expectation and reality is directly proportional to our pressure. Imagine how easy it is for us to lower our expectations? Or is it easier to raise reality?

Grandma Webber is a neat and tidy person. The saliva towel and small gauze towel of Xiaoshu will be washed and dried in time, folded in time and put in a corner of the sofa, and I can get them as long as I need them. And I'm not good at storage. After I use the saliva towel, I will put it where I feed, or on the sofa, or on the bed. Grandma will wash it, dry it, fold it and put it in the corner of the sofa. Over time, I also formed such a habit. Put these used little things in the washbasin in the bathroom and let grandma wash them. Sometimes I wash and fold it myself in time.

Grandma didn't ask me to change. She did very well by herself. When she did it herself, everyone around her changed. Similarly, I have done my part in the education of children. Later, I found that the communication way between grandma and children has also changed. She can also be affectionate and cuddly, and has many positive discipline tools.

3. Connect first, then correct.

Although the elderly have their own set of inherent concepts, they are not static. They just don't know the meaning of that thing. If you really want to "correct" them, remember to "contact" them first

I found that grandma would teach him to draw some lifelike rabbits, small fish and so on. When she was drawing with Weibo, what I learned was that a 2-year-old child could doodle at will. The early education of his image painting is not conducive to his imagination and creativity. I went over and said, "grandma painted the rabbit as real!" " "Grandma sounds very happy. This is the connection. Then I said: "xx experts say that it is good for children of this age to draw by themselves, which is of great benefit to their imagination and creativity." You teach him to draw this rabbit, and he will only draw the rabbit you taught him to draw. " In this way, grandma realized this and stopped teaching children to draw images in the future. Even remind grandpa not to teach children to draw images. Connection before calibration. ? Connect first, then correct.

4, family meetings, everyone is equal.

A harmonious family environment not only lays a good foundation for educating children, but also is an education in itself. How to establish a harmonious and equal family atmosphere, positive discipline has a tool "family meeting", which can help.

At a family meeting in our family, I said, "Thank you, Grandma, for getting up the earliest every day, sweeping the floor, cooking three meals a day for us and washing clothes for Xiaoshu, so that I don't have to worry about Xiaoshu's diet and daily life and have more energy to do my work." "Thank you, Grandpa, for taking young trees to outdoor activities and basking in the sun every morning and afternoon. He is very strong, thanks to you. " Speaking of this, the old man is very happy. I feel better and more willing to give and cooperate. In the brainstorming session of family meetings, everyone can express their opinions without worrying about being evaluated. Finally, vote for the full name. Because everyone participates, the implementation is also high.

We held a family meeting to discuss the week's recipes, the division of housework, the frequency of mom and dad using mobile phones after work and so on. In a family atmosphere of equality and respect, everyone can find a sense of value and belonging.

We love children, and we hope that children will grow up healthily and happily, so we will "haggle over every ounce" about the contradiction of parenting. If we use love and wisdom to resolve these "conflicts", what can our children learn from them? I think he will have the successful personality and good qualities you want him to have in life.