Some time ago, Xiao Chen would wake up every day and pester me and say, "Mom, don't go to work, stay at home with me." At first, I thought he had only a short-term separation anxiety and didn't care too much. But later, I found his words and deeds more and more strange. Say "this is mine, it's all mine" more than ten times a day. If you want him to do something, he will only say "no". I cry when I meet any small things.

The angel baby suddenly became a little monster. Why do you become so disobedient? Every day, I was devastated by his strange temper and began to ask for help. After talking to many mothers, I found that other children will have the same situation, but most of them are 2-3 years old. Montessori experts told me that this is the performance of the sensitive period of self-awareness.

So, what is the sensitive period of self-awareness? How can we find out when children have a sensitive period of self-awareness? As parents, how to help children through the sensitive period of self-awareness?

Montessori experts say that children aged 0-6 will have various sensitive periods, such as hand sensitive period and visual sensitive period, and children grow up by one sensitive period after another. Among them, the sensitive period of self-awareness is the most important one. Whether it can be passed smoothly is related to what kind of person the child will become in the future, whether his heart is strong or not, and the construction of his future personality.

The sensitive period of self-awareness is so important, so how can we find it in time?

I remember little orange almost said "no" at that time, and he would say "no" no matter what he was asked to do. Followed by "this is mine, all mine", "mom is mine, the house is mine, and the toys are mine". Even the big trees in the park are mine. "Later, I will hit people or even bite people at random, or cry for a small thing for no reason.

Later, I learned that since Xiao Chen said the first "no" and the first "this is mine", she entered a sensitive period of self-cognition.

Generally speaking, if your child has just turned 2 years old and has the above situation, it should probably be a sensitive period of self-awareness. But some children will show up later. Generally not later than three and a half years old.

1, don't deny the child's "no"

When I knew that all the performances of Xiao Orange belonged to the sensitive period of self-awareness, I found myself making the biggest mistake, that is, denying what he said. For example, when I get up in the morning, I will let him drink a cup of warm water first. He will say "no" decisively. Then I will say, you usually drink, why don't you want to drink now? Drink quickly and don't say "no" to me. Then he will resist very much and even drop the cup on the ground, and the situation will get worse.

Later, I began to try not to deny his "no" Faced with the same problem, I would say, if you really don't want to drink now, then don't drink, and we will continue when you want to drink. Do you want to drink or not? Slowly, instead of saying "no" at once, he will say, let me think.

In this way, gradually, I don't deny his "no", and he won't say "no" slowly.

Only by respecting his "choice" can we better help him through this period.

2. Don't force children to "share"

Many parents like to let their children share toys and food. Some children do share, and some children may not, especially those who are in a sensitive period of self-awareness.

Once a guest came to the house, Xiao Chen refused to give her toys to play with, crying and shouting, "This is mine, mine, all mine." I once foolishly advised him to learn to share, but I didn't.

I whispered to him, "Yes, this is yours. If you don't want to play for her, don't give it to her. But when you don't want to play, or when you think you have something to play for her, you can play for her, ok? "

As expected, Xiao Chen calmed down. Then, when there is a guest at home, he will gradually stop giving toys to others as before.

Remind parents here that if your child really doesn't want to share, don't force him to share. In the sensitive period of self-awareness, he will feel that everything is his. This is the process of his leaving the world and his growing up.

Only by respecting his "sense of self-belonging" can we better help him through this period.

3. Take a kind and firm attitude to face children's unreasonable troubles.

When a child is in a sensitive period of self-awareness, he may become very perfectionist and even very orderly. For example, an apple can't be cut in half to eat, or it will make a fuss about you. He must take the elevator according to the floor, otherwise no one wants to take it.

Faced with the sensitivity of self-awareness and the unreasonable troubles of children, parents had better adopt a kind and firm attitude. That is, I can politely admit your uniqueness, but if this thing is really wrong and has affected others, we must firmly stop the child and tell him that it is wrong. But remember, don't yell at the children. Gentle words and love are better than any truth.

Every child will go through a sensitive period of self-awareness. I hope that when this most important sensitive period comes, every mom and dad can find it early and accompany it patiently. Helping children grow is also helping themselves to grow.

Has your child ever experienced a sensitive period of self-awareness? Welcome everyone to leave a message ~