Subject: "Gaining from Loss"

How time flies! It's time to write home again. Unconsciously, the study of physics class 105 is drawing to a close.

Looking back on my previous study, I was deeply moved. Silently persisted in studying for nearly eight months.

In more than 200 days of study, there are gains and losses; Have put down, also have the harvest;

What I lost was my inner paranoia and a desire to control my children;

What I have gained is that I am slowly learning how to make friends with my children, "be kind to others and be friends with others", and communicate with my children with acceptable thinking and friends' tone and way, instead of suppressing and preaching as "parents" and "elders" and letting go of my obsession;

What I get is more love from my family, more respect from my children and closer distance.

Yangming's mind initially changed himself and then influenced children. Along the way, although I have not gained much, I can feel my change from my children's attitude and words to me. Children often play naughty jokes and say that we are brothers and sisters and best friends. When you come home from school, you will miss me especially when you can't see me at first sight. You will come to me when you are not at home, and you will feel at ease when you see me.

This is quite effective in influencing children. Children are more self-disciplined in life and study than before, and more sensible, obedient, sunny, discerning right from wrong and reasonable in ideological and mental health. This makes me very gratified, and it also strengthens my motivation to continue studying.

I once read a report about the anxiety index of Chinese mothers. According to the report data obtained through investigation and study, among the parents born after 70 to 90, the mother's anxiety level is "slightly better". Among many mothers, the proportion of anxious mothers has exceeded 58%, and the proportion of mothers after 00 is as high as 67%. Among the anxiety factors, children's health and education account for the largest proportion.

In real life, many parents often put their children in a particularly high position. Expectations for children are particularly high. From birth, even as a fetus, prenatal education, early education, kindergarten, all kinds of talents, from the initial cultivation of children's hobbies, gradually evolved into "can not lose at the starting line" because of parents' vanity and comparison.

Whether the child accepts it or not has been forgotten, and it is not important. It has completely become a "tool" to satisfy parents' desires. Once children can't satisfy their own ideas, parents will "volcano". "Selfish desire" is the root cause of parents' frustration, and it is also the main reason of emotional out of control.

It's a pity that I am also a baby mother born after 80. I used to be an anxious mother, not only anxious, but also a controlling mother. From small to large, children's development in all aspects is outstanding among their peers. Although they are not outstanding, they have done a good job. But I always feel that children's potential is infinite and can be stimulated. Any thing, the child can achieve 80 points, I forced him to ask him to be higher, and he can also achieve 90 points or even full marks. Having said that, I don't have a perfect child in my heart, because I have great expectations for my children, and the life "score line" set for my children is too high, which is beyond the range that children can bear, leading to my criticism and criticism.

But I am honored that I have been exposed to Yangming's mind before my children entered the so-called "rebellious period" in primary school. Through studying, I suddenly realized that my previous concern for children was actually my own inner thoughts. In retrospect, children are children after all. Think about what I could do when I was young and ten years old. What can I do? Am I as good, self-disciplined and obedient as the children now? The answer is yes: no! I just impose what I can't do on my children and let them do it themselves to satisfy their own selfish desires.

During the time when my child is preparing for the exam, although I am more or less anxious and occasionally have some episodes, I can change my mind in time and put more time and energy into taking care of my child's life so that he can eat delicious meals three times a day; It's hot, and there's water to quench your thirst after school. Have clean clothes every day; Learning has a comfortable and quiet learning environment. ...

Let go without indulgence, I found that the child's self-discipline is not increased by 45 degrees, but a straight line. Get up at six o'clock every morning at 6 06: 10/0 at the latest. After washing, I punch in and read a book to review. The crisp sound of reading often wakes me up from my sleep. Make plans and goals for yourself every day, eat reasonably, improve physical fitness, don't be obese, complete the homework assigned by the school with good quality and quantity, and review for more than two hours every night. I will urge him to sleep, let him pay attention to his health and protect his eyes. In my life, I am clean and tidy, and I wash clothes after taking a shower every day. My room is clean and tidy, and my things are in order. ...

These performances are all I have not found before. I have always thought that children are like a millstone. If we don't help him, he doesn't know whether to do it or not.

In the last two months, these positive attitudes and behaviors of children have completely broken my inherent cognition. This is the effect of conscience on children. Children get along with us more and more harmoniously. We will talk heart-to-heart about anything good or bad, happy or sad, chat happily at the dinner table, and video chat with my father who works far away from home ... I am not the best, but as a parent and mother, I can be the one who works hard.

All these are attributed to the conscience of learning. If not studying, I still stay in controlling children's language and behavior, especially when the exam is coming. I will urge him to review every day, help him print and let him brush the questions freely.

Our hearts are like gardens, we have what we plant!

Plant tolerance, kindness, gentleness and harmony, and you will reap happiness; On the contrary, if you feel that you are overwhelmed, everything goes wrong and you are upset, then you should reflect on yourself, whether you have always been sincere to yourself, whether you are humble and respectful, and "everything comes from the heart."

Some people say that raising children is like growing flowers. Every flower has its own flowering period. Some flowers bloom early, others bloom late.

We should also know clearly that some children are doomed not to bloom and be colorful, because they may be towering trees.

Others say that raising a child is like planting a tree. If you don't fix it, you should "fix it" as soon as possible, otherwise you can't reach it on tiptoe. Yes, trees can't be straightened, but we must grasp the "degree". Excessive repression will turn them into ornamental trees. Although good-looking, but has lost the desire to grow tall and grow up.

"Being honest and acting without orders", on the road of educating children, I just need to be strict with myself, set an example in everything, and leave the rest to time!

Thank you, Mr. Boren, for your inculcation, for the help and encouragement of volunteer teachers, for your comments, and for the mutual encouragement of students. Let's work together!