In movies, we often see fathers and sons who love each other deeply but don't know how to express them, and even have misunderstandings, but they are unwilling to break the silence because of face. In daily life, the relationship between mother and son is often intimate and the relationship between father and son is unfamiliar, which is usually caused by the absence of father in family education: the father takes the lead outside and leaves his son to his mother. This makes many fathers feel quite helpless, but they don't know how to close the distance between themselves and their children and establish a closer parent-child relationship with their sons.

In fact, in the process of boys' growth, the father's influence is crucial. Education is not only a mother's business, especially in families with boys, and fathers should take the lead. Regardless of the parent-child relationship, the father's influence on boys is almost everywhere. Whether it is temperament, living habits, hobbies, lifestyle, mental state, etc. The shadow of a father is always found in his son. In psychological counseling, it can be clearly found that boys who lack fatherly love are prone to psychological obstacles such as emotional instability, serious inferiority complex and weak will in adolescence. As an excellent father, his excellent qualities will also affect his children's life. So as a father, how to educate a boy?

In society, men play a certain role in a fixed way, so in the cultivation of boys, fathers must attach importance to the communication and exchange with children during their growth, set a good example for children and pay attention to cultivating boys' masculinity. It is also necessary for children to feel empathy and appreciate the advantages of others when they are in contact with others. At the same time, they can look directly at their own shortcomings and mistakes and have the courage to face failure. You should also learn self-control, have a sense of responsibility and be able to shoulder the heavy responsibility of life.

At the same time, boys are naturally active and full of curiosity, so it is particularly important to cultivate children's spirit of independent learning and independent inquiry. Traditional education in China tends to obliterate children's curiosity, and fathers should pay attention to cultivating children's autonomous learning spirit in their interaction with children. Director Ren Jun, an expert in autonomous learning education at Beijing Aidile Learning Center, believes that every child has a strong thirst for knowledge and the spirit of autonomous learning in the process of growing up. Without normal guidance and encouragement, this natural thirst for knowledge will be curbed, and it will be difficult for children to have the spirit of independent learning and research, which is very unfavorable for their growth.

Learning how to be a good father is actually a homework that every father should do.

How to become a good prospective father through reading extension

Being a prospective father means that you have an extra role-"Dad". How to define this role, what kind of father do you want to be, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses from your father, or keep pace with the times? Many prospective fathers can imagine. Although there is no uniform standard for this position, more thinking and discussion will undoubtedly make prospective fathers more qualified for this role in the near future.

Father-an irreplaceable role

In our daily life, in most families, mothers become the leading force in child care, while many fathers become "spectators" for various reasons. However, many professional studies show that the role of father is irreplaceable, and he has a considerable influence on the formation of baby's personality, the development of wisdom and ability, and the cultivation of gender roles:

1. The father is an important source of the baby's positive personality.

Fathers are generally firm, strong, brave, confident, optimistic, assertive and other personality characteristics, which can benefit the baby all his life. When the baby gets along with his father, he will imitate many of his methods and ways of thinking, and his father's "personality" is easily "infected" to the baby.

Moreover, in daily communication, my father will instill these concepts into my baby intentionally or unintentionally, and some fathers will personally lead my baby to do these trainings. Father's way of thinking is generally more open, and he is more philosophical and comprehensive when things happen. These advantages will have a positive impact on the baby sooner or later.

2. Father is the pioneer of baby life.

As many parents know, most babies go to their mothers when they are hungry and to their fathers when they play. Because, the father plays many tricks and has a wide range, he can also take him to explore the curious world, encourage him to try, like to let the baby learn in nature, and let the baby cultivate imagination, creativity and practical ability in play. It can be said that the father is the baby's best playmate. He opens the baby's living space and gives the baby a chance to see a more colorful world.

3. The father is the leader of the baby's sociality.

Generally speaking, the father's focus is not limited to his small family, but has a larger life circle, so he has more opportunities to take his baby to social activities. In this activity, he can not only enrich his knowledge, but also learn how to treat people.

More importantly, this kind of dad party often treats the baby as an adult, and the baby is not the core of the party. To find your own position, you must abide by such rules. Mothers' parties tend to focus on babies, and most of the topics are the same. Babies become the focus of attention, not the real social environment. And the baby is growing up, and the demand for social interaction is growing. They will be happy to go outside with their father.

4. Father is the bridge for the development of baby's gender consciousness.

Parents' daily cooperation and division of labor, as well as their different roles in the family and different ways to deal with problems, will give babies the correct enlightenment of gender awareness and let them have gender awareness from an early age. Especially for boys, if they are only brought up by their mothers or are little influenced by their fathers, they often have female personality characteristics, and their masculinity and aggression will be even worse. It is equally important for fathers to cultivate girls' gender awareness, which will affect their performance when they interact with boys during adolescence. Many girls who are not influenced by their fathers will be shy and at a loss when interacting with men.

Orientation —— Nine Questions about Father's Role

1. What kind of father do I want to be?

2. What kind of father does the wife think is more conducive to the growth of the baby?

3. Discuss with friends who have become fathers and sum up their success or failure. What are their gains and losses?

4. Think carefully about what kind of fatherly love your baby needs to grow up.

According to the above investigation and study, combined with your actual ability, what is your image as a father?

6. Specifically, what kind of work does such a father need to do and what responsibility does he bear?

7. How much time do I spend with my baby and what do I usually do?

8. How can I arrange my work, or what adjustments do I need to make to be a good father?

9. What changes do I need to make in my lifestyle to meet the standards of my ideal father?

Tips:

These questions provide some thinking ideas for prospective fathers. If these questions are answered, it will be clear to them how to be a good father. The baby's ten-month growth process has given prospective fathers enough time to think clearly. With your own ideas, you can fully communicate with your wife and family and constantly improve.

Example-the power of learning

1. His own father

Psychology believes that many behavior patterns of an adult come from his childhood experiences and experiences. So when you are ready to be a father, your father will have a deeper meaning. Many times, you will unconsciously treat your baby the way your father treated you when he was a child. At that time, for our father, being a good father meant providing shelter, food and education for his family. They don't have much consciousness and time to get along with their children. They do what they think is best for their children at the request of society and family. However, with the development of the times, their model is no longer suitable for the real needs of babies for their fathers. Fathers should spend more time with their children.

In this case, the prospective father needs to recall his growth process and seriously think about what his father's practices are beneficial to his growth, what needs to be improved, and what vital places have been ignored by himself? This points the way for being a father. Children are a mirror of parents, and you must have the shadow of your father. Summarizing his gains and losses as a father is a very good reference for you as a father. For example, he may be strict, and there is no decent communication between you, but his perseverance in doing things has a good influence on you. Knowing this, you will try your best to foster strengths and avoid weaknesses.

2. People who have a great influence on themselves

Over the years, many people have helped themselves to grow, and some people can even be said to be "teachers like fathers". How can they influence themselves and help themselves in a way that they can accept? Such as teachers, coaches, friends, uncles, brothers and so on. Learn their mentality, practices and hearts, and be a father that the baby really needs.

3. Knowledge is power

In fact, how to be a father depends on the understanding of keeping pace with the times in parenting and early education. In modern science, there are many studies on the factors that affect the growth of babies. Compared with our childhood, there are many scientific conclusions, which also give us more basis to be fathers. Knowing what to do is more beneficial to the baby and how to educate him to live a happier and happier life. Therefore, paying close attention to some early education books or magazines will be helpful for you to be a good father in the future.

Myth-The Perfect Father

The biggest misunderstanding of the role of father is that a "good father" should have various advantages and ideal personality. In fact, this is unrealistic, for example, it can not only create very good material conditions, but also spend most of the time with the baby, which is a contradiction for the average person. Smart fathers all know that adjusting between the two and grasping the "degree" can make the two aspects distribute harmoniously and reach a relatively satisfactory level.

Therefore, there is no need for the prospective father to force himself to be perfect in everything. His innate character is not so easy to change. You can sketch the image of your father according to your own situation and the needs of your family. As time goes by, you can constantly update and enrich the connotation of this role.