Emotional management has always been a "roadblock" for high-quality family education. Many parents often beat and scold their children because they can't control their emotions well, which leads to problems in their personality and psychology, rather than progress in their studies.
Generally, children who grow up in the long-term scolding of their parents will have the following personality manifestations:
1, irritable, often talking back loudly. This is because children have been "edified" by their parents for a long time, which also makes them extreme and violent. They think that the solution to the problem is the way parents treat themselves.
This will also make it difficult for children to get along with others in future interpersonal communication.
2, inferiority, cowardice, fear of difficulties. 1967, American psychologist seligman put forward learned helplessness's psychological theory. 3. Flattery does not dare to offend people. Parents' long-term scolding will make children feel scared.
Some children keep trying to please their parents just to avoid their parents' scolding and scolding, which will eventually make them form a psychology of caring too much about other people's attitudes. In order to please others, they are even less likely to refuse.
This kind of personality is actually caused by inferiority, so I usually feel very tired in my later life and care about what others think of me.
Studies have shown that children who are often scolded by their parents and children who are basically not scolded by their parents have great differences in personality and life after ten years, and yelling will not only make children's personality problems, but also stimulate their rebellious psychology.
Some parents think that not all children can be taught well by a few sermons, and there are always disobedient children. What if the child can't fight and scold?
I. Attitude and tone
Children's failure to listen is indeed one of the reasons for parents' scolding, but parents should also know that the deterrent effect of scolding is only temporary or even absent.
Therefore, when educating children, parents should first adjust their emotions. After all, emotions dominate behavior. Then communicate with children with a peaceful attitude and a soothing tone to avoid language conflicts with children in communication.
Only in this way can children feel the respect from their parents and concentrate on listening to their parents' lessons.
Second, pay attention to the conversation atmosphere.
Yelling will only make the communication atmosphere between parents and children more tense, especially for adolescent children, which will intensify contradictions.
Therefore, parents should create some atmosphere before speaking, for example, let their children sit next to them and make them feel treated equally.
You can also give your child a cup of milk tea first, and use this time to calm both sides down, think about right and wrong, and treat them rationally in the next conversation.
Third, children also need to be understood.
Children sometimes screw things up unintentionally or jokingly, so they prefer to get their parents' understanding rather than yelling at them.
If parents can respect their children, listen to their explanations and find out the reasons with them, not only can they learn lessons, but they can also enhance their feelings invisibly.