I hurried to see what had happened. I saw Doudou's mother running quickly from the bathroom to the classroom. "Doug, mom just went to the bathroom. Look, mom is back. Didn't mom just tell you to let the teacher play with you for a while? " "When Doudou saw his mother coming back, the tears on his face instantly turned into sporadic light rain, and his hands were open for his mother to hug.
Doudou's mother hugged Doudou, and Doudou's little hand wrapped around her neck, slowly restoring calm. "When Mom Doudou saw me coming, she couldn't help but vomit:" Doudou is a little insecure, but I can't help it. Usually go to work, only accompany Doudou at night. Our branch sometimes has meetings in the evening, so I spend less time with him. "
I also deeply felt: "Yes, it is not easy for a working mother, especially before the child is 3 years old. This stage is the golden age for children to build a sense of security. Try to spend as much time with Doug as possible, communicate with him more, and let him feel at ease. "
Children feel insecure because their mothers spend less time with their children, and they will stick to their mothers. It will be sunny when mom is around, and anxious when mom is not around. The lack of children's sense of security is not only manifested in this phenomenon.
My member's parents, Tintin's mother, also gave me feedback. Children always say "fear", hear the sound of an electric drill digging the wall next door, hear the sound of a police car whistling on the road, and even hear the sound of a locked electric car being hit by an automatic alarm.
Tintin has been taken care of by his grandmother, and his mother also goes to work during the day and goes home to accompany Tintin at night. It is difficult for grandma to take care of herself during the day. For example, if Tintin doesn't sleep when he should sleep, grandma will scare him, "If you don't sleep, the tiger will eat you. Are you afraid? " If you are afraid, go to sleep quickly! "There are too many words. Tintin now says" fear "whenever he hears anything, even with his mother.
The behavior of Doudou and Tintin is a sign of insecurity. Many parents feel that their children's insecurity is not a problem for the time being. However, if their children have not successfully established a safe attachment relationship with their families before the age of three, then their children are likely to lack the ability to establish a deep and intimate relationship with others all their lives, and they are always timid and difficult to trust others, which will consume their energy and make them unable to express and show themselves confidently.
? Therefore, we need to gain a sense of security in family of origin, in order to find a space to release ourselves in this world, just as a child can explore passionately when his mother is around, and he will stop exploring and continue to look for his mother when his mother is not around.