Is your child particularly shy? Do you know what to do as a parent? The children below are particularly shy. I brought you how to deal with them. I hope it helps you.

First line case

When Niu Niu's mother and one of her "strange" friends came in, seven-month-old Niu Niu was sitting on the floor of the study playing with his toys. A "strange" friend went to Niu Niu and bent down to greet her: "Hi, Niu Niu, hello!" I saw Niu Niu staring at the "stranger" for a while, suddenly burst into tears and turned to climb over to her mother.

Niu Niu's mother said that when Niu Niu was a child, he didn't know strangers at all. At that time, he was very clever, everyone wanted to hug him, and Niu Niu seldom cried. Unexpectedly, when he grew up for a few months, he recognized it.

Seven-month-old Niu Niu cries when she sees strangers.

Teacher Lu Danying of Nanning Baby-Friendly Consulting Co., Ltd. said that children aged 6 months to 1 year are the stage of rapid improvement of their self-awareness. At this time, children begin to think independently, so their ability to guard against the surrounding environment and characters is also obviously improved, which is manifested in crying when they see strangers other than their parents. Lu Danying said that in early education, this phenomenon was called "stranger anxiety".

"Stranger anxiety" will appear in almost every child, but because of the different nature of children, the degree of anxiety is different and the time of appearance is different. Generally, "stranger anxiety" appears in children from 6 months to 1 year old, and it is most obvious at 1 year old.

cause analysis

In addition to the period from 6 months to 1 year, 5-6 years old is another peak of children's self-awareness. At this time, the child's cognitive ability is obviously improved. Lu Danying said that according to psychological development, 5-6 years old is a normal "shy period" in life. During this period, most children are not used to being alone with strangers and do not like to communicate with strangers. As they get older, they will gradually overcome their shyness.

Liang Liping, director of Tangshan Kindergarten in Nanning, said that because shy children rarely make trouble and are rarely noticed, they are becoming more and more silent. Most shy children often lack a set of social skills, and it is often difficult for them to express their inner feelings, let alone tell others what they think? /p & gt；

"Although children of this age are sensitive to' stranger anxiety',' overprotection' is also one of the main reasons for children's shyness. Such children will be like flowers in a greenhouse, and it is difficult to bear setbacks and pressures. " Liang Liping said.

At the age of five or six, "stranger anxiety" is manifested as shyness.

expert opinion/advice

Let children gradually trust strangers.

Lu Danying said that children's attitude towards strangers depends entirely on their parents' "face", so when facing strangers, parents should give him time to approach strangers step by step. "Never force children. The more you push him, the more he will feel dangerous. Don't leave him at will, it will only make him more afraid and won't make him brave. "

So parents should be more patient and give him more time to grow up. For example, in the face of children's "strangers", parents can smile at strangers and take the initiative to say hello to strangers, so that children can slowly let their guard down and realize that "strangers" are trustworthy. In the future, parents can tell their children who this "stranger" is, what he does, what relationship he has with us, what we should do when we see him in the future, and so on. All this is to let children have a gradual process of understanding things and the society in transition.

In addition, Lu Danying also suggested that strangers should be good at being a more sensitive and kind stranger. If there are children around you who are in the sensitive period of "stranger anxiety", it is best for strangers to keep a certain distance from them, then greet them with a smile, and finally slowly approach them and communicate with them.

Let children participate in social activities more.

Lu Danying said that participating in such activities will help children gradually understand the relationship between individuals and groups. However, due to the sensitive period of "stranger anxiety", such children are too defensive and will not take the initiative to participate in activities. Therefore, Lu Danying suggested that parents should take the initiative to take their children to do such things. For example, parents take the initiative to play with their children, let them look at other children for a while, and then tentatively ask him: "Do you want to play with your children?" Many children here are just like you! "

Games and stories improve children's cognition.

If children want to get through the sensitive period of "stranger anxiety" as soon as possible, the most important thing is to improve their cognition. Liang Liping suggested that they could play games and tell stories. For example, through the game of eagle catching chickens and dancing in circles, children can understand the relationship between teachers and children and the relationship between children.

In addition, telling stories can improve children's cognitive ability. The story contains a lot of social knowledge, natural knowledge, and many principles of being a man. For example, parents can tell stories such as "smell a chicken dancing" and "learn a snow", which can enrich children's cognitive experience of human society.

For older children, the children's motor ability and language expression ability are poor, but at this time the children are in the imitation stage. For children aged 6 months to 1, parents can try to take their children to participate in activities and take the initiative to do something for their children to imitate, so that children can feel that "strangers" are trustworthy and the strange environment is safe.

Lu Danying pointed out that children's self-distrust and timidity are also the main manifestations of tactile imbalance in sensory perception. Patients with tactile disorders are introverted and like to be alone. They don't like playing outdoors, are afraid to go to crowded places, and like to stick to specific people, but their sports ability is not good. Therefore, when children are no longer in the sensitive period of "stranger anxiety", but are too sensitive for a long time, it may be sensory imbalance.

Lu Danying said that sensory integration disorder will cause incomplete brain function response, which will lead to learning difficulties. In the end, learning difficulties will adversely affect children's observation ability, innovation ability and self-confidence. Therefore, experts suggest that once this happens, children should be taken to the hospital for sensory integration test. Hospitals and early education institutions have systematic sensory integration training methods.

Expert reminder

Not in the sensitive period, but long-term sensitive, beware of sensory imbalance.

Children aged 6 months to 1 year and 5 to 6 years old are sensitive periods of "stranger anxiety", which shows that they cry when they see strangers other than their parents.

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