Why do children kiss their grandparents instead of their parents? Although there are various reasons, in general, he will kiss whoever spends more time with him.
Tell me about my granddaughter! My granddaughter is two years and four months old. I've been with her since she was born, feeding her food, drinking, playing with her, urinating, taking a shower and sleeping ... less than three months later, my mother went to work, and during the day, it was just our grandparents and grandchildren (grandpa had not retired at that time). My mother was busy until midnight at night, and my granddaughter was weaned for nine and a half months. She followed me all day. Our granddaughter can rest assured when we go back to our hometown to wean her. I don't want to find my mother either, but my mother is so upset that she will come home to pick us up after half a month that the first thing my granddaughter said was to call her grandmother. My mother, who is over one year old, goes to work far away and comes back once a week or two. She bought food and played with it. She still went to grandma with food and play. Before going to bed at night, she must share a bed with her grandmother. Otherwise, she will sleep in grandma's bed instead of going to her mother. Mother gave her delicious food, and she asked her grandmother for one, and she wouldn't leave until she gave it. Go out to find shoes for grandma, come back to find slippers for grandma, drink water and get grandma a cup, go out to play with mom and dad, and then go home to find grandma. This is not to cultivate feelings with mom. Her mother took her to a nearby early education class these days, but when she came back from school, she still needed to find her grandmother's video. ...
In fact, children are close to grandparents because grandparents have patience and spend more time with their children. Parents often spend a short time with their children because of work, have no patience with their children, and don't concentrate on playing with their children. They play mobile phones for a while, watch computers for a while, and are not child-centered. Where's the baby? She knows who is comfortable with, so she kisses whom. Haven't you met those adoptive parents and adopted children who are completely unrelated? They kissed as usual!
The main reasons why children don't want to live with their mothers:
Some people have never cared about their children in order to work hard all their lives. After giving birth, their children eat and drink Lazar for 24 hours, and they can't see their parents all day. I don't know whether ta's parents love ta or not, and I don't know why their parents don't want ta. There is also the meticulous care of grandparents, and all the memories are grandparents.
Grandparents are older and have rich life experiences. When I was young, my anger and spirit had already been exhausted, and I had already become an amiable, smiling and pleasant old man. Old people have great patience and meticulous care for their children's discipline.
Children talk, count, wash their hands, etc. When they do well, they will be praised and encouraged in time. I didn't do well, especially when I dropped a cup, spilled water and peed my pants ... My grandparents never yelled at me. Even if you hit a little, smile and make a scene, you won't blow your beard and stare and spank like some parents.
After getting along for a long time, even the youngest children will gradually feel that grandparents are really good.
Think about the communication with parents when I was a child. You didn't know anything when you were a child. You know everything about this strange world through communication with your parents. At this time, the communication is obviously not reciprocal-you are the one who asks questions, asks questions, is curious and naive, while parents are the one who answers, gives, is mature and has prestige.
But when you grow up, you are no longer the child who needs parental guidance. You also want to comment on something from the perspective of an adult, or you want to talk to them about your adult heart. But what if parents still treat you with the communication mode of childhood at this time?
The communication mode at this time is called staggered communication in Bowen's communication analysis theory.
The stimulus and response of staggered communication are crossed, and the expected identities of the two sides are different. You expect to communicate with parents who are also adults equally, and parents expect to communicate with you, their children, as parents. This kind of staggered communication will make people feel unhappy and interrupt the conversation. This is also the main reason why children don't talk to their parents.