Secondly, tell the facts and describe specific things.
In addition, choose the language of praise,
How to praise children correctly? The key is to tell the truth.
2014-12-1210: 28 due north net 0 collection
For many parents who don't know the "parent-child praise philosophy", "excellent" and "really smart" have become their mantra. This kind of praise can't make children fully realize their own value, which is unscientific and ineffective. Parents may wish to try to talk about things, rather than praise in general terms, and review and summarize with their children after praise. This is an ideal way of parent-child interaction.
survey
"Great" and "Smart"
Become the mantra of parents' praise
US President Barack Obama even affirmed the importance of praise for children's growth. He often actively communicates with his daughter: "Did I praise you today?" Praise will give children more strength and confidence to grow up happily, but in real life, how do parents praise their children? Judging from the survey results, it seems that many parents still need to learn and improve.
A few days ago, the reporter conducted a survey on 50 parents born after 70 s and 80 s (the ratio of male to female is 1: 1), and found that "greatness" and "true intelligence" have become the mantra of more than 60% parents to praise their children, and only 30% parents will choose "seeking truth from facts". In learning praise skills, more than 50% of parents learn by "sharing with other parents", and more than 20% of parents still have "no idea at all" about praising their children's skills.
"Children like you to praise him for being good-looking, beautiful and smart." Xiao Yu, a 3-year-old son, believes that praising children is "actually very simple", which means giving them what they want. Lulu believes that no matter what encouragement, children will be very happy, which helps to build self-confidence. However, the current situation is that only 30% of the parents interviewed will communicate with their children again after praising them. Kelly, the general manager of a well-known human resources company, showed different rationality from other parents. She said that praising children realistically and giving priority to encouragement can help children build self-confidence from bit by bit.
Many parents said that under the premise of not mastering praise skills, they either reluctantly praised their children or expressed them in exaggerated forms. "When I evaluated my son's handwriting as the best, he turned his head and stopped writing, but made trouble." Ms. Xue, a white-collar worker, has the same experience as many parents. When she highly praised her children, she found that their children gave up, resisted and made trouble instead. According to Jia Quan, a senior local early education expert, the general praise from parents has increased psychological pressure on children.
General praise is not feasible.
Matters needing attention
Support experts: Jia Quan, a senior local early education expert, and A Xue, a primary and secondary education research expert.
1, don't be stingy with your praise anyway.
For many parents, they care more about "whether to praise their children" than "how to praise their children", often because they are worried that their children will become more proud. In fact, no matter whether the child's personality is introverted or extroverted, don't be stingy with your own praise when praising the child. For introverted children, we need to give more affirmation. For example, when introverted children do something, they will pay attention to adults' reactions because they are afraid of making mistakes, which has a lot to do with family education. At this time, parents' eyes are also a great encouragement to their children.
2. Replace general praise with actual praise.
Do the parents around you always praise their children "You are great", "Really amazing" and "Really beautiful"? Praise is about skill and patience. This kind of praise for the sake of praise is the most common behavior of parents, and it is a sign of neglect in the eyes of children. Praise according to facts is the most basic principle. How to operate specifically? It is to mention the child's behavior first, and then praise it, such as "Baby, you can throw the ball (behavior), that's great (praise)!" Praise and remember that things are not for people to see, and so are criticisms. Praise children's good qualities obtained through study, such as "politeness" and "hard work", rather than praising children's natural advantages, such as "cuteness" and "really handsome". Praise any quality you want to cultivate your child.
3. Review and summarize after praise.
Praise children in time when they have good performance, review with them afterwards, discuss the shortcomings with them, let them learn self-criticism and remind them to pay attention to the bright spots of others, which can help them develop the good habit of self-criticism and appreciation of others. It is worth noting that parents' praise and criticism should be consistent, and it is possible for children to establish clearer criteria for judging right and wrong.
4. Generously accept the praise of children from outsiders.
When foreigners praise their children from the foreign population, most parents will generously say "thank you". China's traditional parents are introverted. Many times when someone praises a child, he will say, "No, actually he is not that great." . The correct way is: parents generously accept the praise of outsiders, and then review with their children afterwards, so that children can share how to treat the praise of others and guide them correctly. This is an important parent-child interaction.
5. Praise depends on the age of the child.
Children aged 0-6 need detailed and specific praise from their parents. As children grow up, parents' praise should be more skillful, pay attention to appreciating and discovering children's bright spots, help children establish correct values through praise, and even talk about shortcomings equally after praise. Some parents are afraid of praising their children too much, preferring not to praise or even suppress them, which is extremely unfavorable to their growth.
Praise you: Obama's letter to his daughter
An inspirational children's book written by US President Barack Obama. In this letter to his daughter, Obama told 13 inspiring stories of American heroes and praised and encouraged the children. In the book, Obama made a concise summary of each character: Martin Luther King's unyielding and compassionate, Helen Keller's unyielding and unyielding fate, George Washington's patriotic feelings ... Obama saw these beautiful qualities in his daughter and children all over the country. Zheng, the king of fairy tales, once commented: "Praise children more, and the future of the country will be strong."