The second principle of behavior change-the principle of small steps-is an effective method to promote change.

The "small step principle" is simply to take a small step on the road of change and achieve a little success. Let every small success be the basis of the next change.

Small success can make elephants realize the benefits of change, and also shape a sense of hope, make elephants believe that change is possible, and urge elephants to keep taking steps.

But the problem is that success always comes after action. We must take action to get good results. How can we make the elephant take the first step?

That is "miracle question", which is a question pattern often used in psychotherapy. It seems simple, but in fact it is exquisitely designed.

In the process of change, looking forward and looking back, what you see is often different.

Look ahead and you will see difficulties; Looking back, you will see the method and path.

When you assume that a good result has happened and look back, you have actually bypassed the elephant's defense mechanism.

Elephants will no longer think about how impossible and difficult it is, but how this process happened. At this time, you will know more clearly how to take the first step of an elephant.

Sometimes change is like dominoes. The most important thing is to find the card that can promote change, find the first small change and knock it down.

Finding the first small change by "miracle questioning" and making it come true is called "small step principle".

Remember, when changing, don't try to confront the elephant in your heart, you need to bypass the elephant's defense mechanism.

The "small step principle" is a way to bypass the elephant's psychological defense mechanism and trigger our actions.

The "small step principle" is not only a strategy about how to achieve ultimate success, but also a strategy to make yourself take action.

Its focus is not on results, but on actions here and now. Its core idea is the thought of the Stoic School in ancient Greece:

"Try to control what you can control and accept what you can't control."

If you need the promise of ultimate success to do something, then you have fallen into a thinking mode that makes you unable to act and change.

The core of the "small step principle" is to let you focus on what you can do now. As for whether this matter can bring you the desired results, it is beyond your control. So, you don't need to pay attention.

Alcoholics Anonymous has the most famous twelve-step method. Its first step is to admit that you are out of control and let people focus on what they can control.

It requires members to set a "one goal a day". Promise me you won't drink for 24 hours.

"One day at a time" means that no matter how well prepared you are, the result is still not 100% controllable. Focus on one small step that can be done in front of you and do it well.

This is the process of change. Don't dream of controlling the future that you can't control, but start self-development from a small step that is feasible under your feet.

My one-minute notes:

The principle of running in small steps can be understood as: divide the overall goal into several small goals, and when all the small goals are completed, the overall goal will naturally be completed. Sometimes when faced with a huge task, we will unconsciously feel afraid of difficulties, because "elephants" will be afraid of things that have not been done or look complicated, making us feel unable to act. Using the principle of small steps is like giving an elephant a little sweetness and taking small steps. I didn't feel too much pressure. In fact, I have gone a long way and finally achieved the desired result.

Asking questions with miracles is to guide us to avoid fear. When you assume that a good result has happened, when you look back, you have bypassed the elephant's defense mechanism, focused on the present, focused on the controllable things, and done the small things in front of you, first completed and then improved.

My feeling: Sometimes change is like a domino. The most important thing is to find the card that can promote change, find the first small change and knock it down.

My action: find my own dominoes and change myself from serious makeup.