Wechat group is established in the workshop and shared by teachers and students every day. I have the experience of reading, and I also have problems in family education. How to deal with it, so that you can get some proper guidance all the time, and you can also gradually broaden your thinking angle. It was announced in the WeChat group that there was a reading salon at 1 1.5, so I joined it. I want to know what this charity salon has.
Most of the students who attended the reading club were parents, some of whom signed up automatically, some of whom were recommended by school teachers, some of whom were teachers in charge of this activity. Fortunately, sitting near Mr Xiong and He Laoshi, you can learn how they help others (their enthusiasm when they take the initiative to draw people into the WeChat reading salon group).
This salon, led by Li Shu, is mainly to read five articles that are not lost in family education. In fact, the form is very simple, that is, everyone reads together, which seems to bring us to the primary school stage. Every time I read an article, Teacher Li Shu will mention the knowledge points in the book, so that we can clearly understand what these knowledge points are talking about. Leave time for parents to share or ask questions halfway and at the end.
This kind of reading content is not lost on pages 38 to 44 of the family education book. One * * * five articles. The topic is father left, mother right, whose children listen to? A good boy can't learn well in a day. Can you tell ADHD from ADHD? Sow the seeds of self-confidence in children's hearts, karl witte's educational concept of Jin Dian. These articles are grounded and tell us some misunderstandings in learning, which is worth thinking about.
Misunderstanding 1
We gain some new knowledge and ideas in workshops, reading books or communicating with people. When we visit our family, we can't help sharing what we have learned with them. After sharing, we often find that others either laugh without saying a word, or directly resist fiercely, or say that you are too theoretical, and at the same time find out how many mistakes you have made. Begin to reflect, introspect, and make yourself feel bad, as if you are a sinner in this family. In fact, these are all common problems of learners, and they are also problems that bother me. Teacher Li easily pointed out in class that these are actually inward or outward accusations and some misunderstandings. In fact, the purpose of our study is not to reflect on what is wrong, but to better accept and start rational thinking and action. When you find yourself in emotion and remorse, you need to comfort yourself and praise yourself first. Because I am the first person in my family to go out to study. In addition, it is normal for couples to have different ideas. If the concept is different, it will give children a diversified perspective, and children can adapt to and face some different opinions in advance.
Myth 2:
Unconditional love for children is not the same as doting.
In many books, I will talk about unconditional love, love myself and love others. However, different people have different understandings of unconditionally, which will lead to misunderstandings. When you spoil your children, you give them whatever they want. The child is very smart, and he will constantly explore the bottom line of his parents and put forward different requirements. This problem will be more obvious in the intergenerational belt.
And unconditional love does not mean that all the conditions of the child must be agreed and recognized. Because we train children to make them better adapt to society. If a child's behavior is only loved by his family, when most codes of conduct cannot be accepted by society, and when most people don't love it, such a child's viability is limited. In fact, it is harmful to children.
What we need to accept and understand is the child's inner feelings. Understand and agree with his feelings, and then gently and firmly tell him some boundaries. Parents treat their children with kindness and virtue, kindness before and kindness after. What matters in the family is not right or wrong, but good feelings. The feeling of home came out and everything was solved.
Myth 3: Labeling children
The child's grades are not good and he is active. My parents were in a hurry, went to the hospital and posted many labels. But is it reasonable to have hospital tests on the back of the label? If you look at those topics carefully, can many topics be covered by themselves? In fact, the test is accidental, and we need to think that there may be deeper needs behind the seemingly ordinary phenomenon.
On the one hand, we should respect and trust science, on the other hand, we should know that taking medicine is not the main solution, but psychological intervention and family support are the fundamental.
Two major educational theories
Erickson's psychoanalytic theory and karl witte's early education theory. There is a local conflict between the two. Pay attention to the negative effects of conditional domestication in eight stages of life.
Parents share questions
Mr. Xiong shared his stories from dispute, depression to love (assimilation), which is worth learning. In the process of family education, it is normal for couples to have theoretical disputes. If the public is right and the old woman is right, then the family is likely to be a chicken flying a dog jumping. Both husband and wife will fall into depression. Why not listen to me is obviously wrong, and it is also wrong for children. When you are depressed, in addition to continuous learning and improvement, the first thing to do is to comfort yourself, especially when no one comforts you. When accumulated to a certain extent, you will find that you can guide your children and your family.
For example, I found my wife looking at her mobile phone when she was reading with her children. At first, you may think, why do you have to take care of the children when you can't do it yourself? If you think so, you will be entangled and in a bad mood. If you think so and tell the children. Mom is tired from work, and now she uses this method to relieve her mood. We have to understand her, so can children understand her well?
In addition, some parents asked, when eating shrimp at home, everyone will be assigned three, and the old people always leave the good ones to their children. Let the children eat more. What should I do?
This is actually a problem of intergenerational education. There are always good and bad parts behind an action. First of all, we should understand why the elderly do this. Because they didn't eat during the natural disaster, they would save good things for their children to eat. Second, we need a solution to the problem. The overall strategy is to enlarge the good part and dilute the bad influence. We can tell our children that grandparents love you, so we'll leave you something delicious. This is a good part and a way for them to express their love. We also need to love them in our own way and thank them for their efforts.
We need to constantly apply theory to practice and internalize knowledge into wisdom that can solve life problems. This is homework and daily practice.
1, the most important thing in the family is goodwill.
In Why Wu Zhihong Hurts People at Home, he once said that the law of work is correct, and its operating mechanism is competition and cooperation, control and conquest. The rule at home is to cherish, and the way to cherish is to understand and accept. Love is a feeling, respect the feelings of family members.
The first relationship in the family is husband and wife, followed by parent-child relationship. If this order is confused, everything else will be confused. In the relationship between husband and wife, we need to be able to see and accept him in order to grow up together and create a good family atmosphere.
Any existence is reasonable, and there are demands behind it. Try to understand.
Step 2 be sympathetic
Fathers cultivate compassion and guide children to have ideals and ambitions, while mothers cultivate compassion and educate their children emotionally.
Husband and wife have different division of labor. When a child has emotional problems, it may be easier for the mother to see that she needs to help the child solve the problems.
3, don't blame yourself, don't blame others, sometimes you don't need to reflect. When you feel helpless, let go and hug yourself.
I have the habit of reflecting every day. Sometimes it really hurts me when I know I can't do it. Sometimes you don't have to reflect all the time. Just think of it as a seed, planted in your heart, and when the time comes, it will blossom and bear fruit, not deliberately, slowly.
Thank you for reading! Look forward to studying together!