After retirement, I thought I could swim with my wife, but when my grandson was born, I had to continue to "work". This position was heartfelt. I don't get paid, but I get paid backwards.
Once, our generation took care of their children and sent them to kindergartens or early education classes early. Rushing to work, rushing to pick up the children, stumbling all the way.
Nowadays, young people are busy with their work, but they have no interest in taking care of their children. It seems that giving birth to a child means giving an explanation to the parents, giving the child to the parents, but living smartly.
Uncle Zhao, 70, said: I have been helping my son with his baby since I retired 10. Now my grandson is in junior high school and studying in a key school in the city center. I have to stay with him. It's really sad. What if you don't help and feel sorry?
I am 70 years old, retired 10 years, and my wife retired early. We only have one son. My wife was in poor health, so we only had one child.
When my son was young, he was my husband and wife's treasure. I'm afraid it will melt in my mouth and fall into my palm. Our son thrives under our careful care. Went to college, got a good job, married a daughter-in-law and gave birth to a grandson.
As the old saying goes, a son is a son. A grandson becomes a grandson.
In the year when I had grandchildren, my wife had retired and just continued to work. My wife usually takes care of her grandchildren and cooks at home. It's really hard. Fortunately, when my grandson was 2 years old, I also retired.
My wife is responsible for taking care of the baby, and I am responsible for logistics at home. My daughter-in-law has a sweet mouth and sealed my position as "logistics minister" Shopping, cooking and cleaning are very busy every day.
This was planned with my brothers. After retirement, we realized our dream and rode Qinghai Lake together. As a result, dreams are always just dreams, and reality smashed them to pieces.
My wife has been in poor health, and my grandson's kindergarten was collected by me on a tricycle. It turns out that the pick-up team is full of old people like me. Only by chatting occasionally can I know that this is our sweet second job for retired people.
My son and daughter-in-law send their grandchildren here every morning before they go to work. They drove away, came back for dinner at night, and then took their grandchildren back to their hometown.
My son and I live in the same community, the front and back buildings, and it feels good. It's just that sometimes I wish they would stay away from us and give us some free space.
Because the grandson is old, he will be with the old couple on weekends, leaving us with no time of our own. Occasionally, I complained to my son and was rejected by my wife.
Fortunately, when my grandson was in primary school, he was close to where we lived, and the daily pick-up and drop-off was my business. At home, my wife is responsible for cooking and cleaning up, and we also have some time of our own, going to the square to play boxing and take a walk.
After several years, my wife is still very weak, and she has been to the hospital several times. Now she has no problem taking care of herself.
But the grandson wants to go public in key junior high schools and doesn't want to live on campus. We discussed with our son and daughter-in-law and rented a 60-flat two-bedroom apartment near the school.
I usually accompany my grandson and cook three meals for him. My son and daughter-in-law came back from work at night, only suffering from his wife at home.
I'm 70 years old and I feel worse and worse. Once I bought a lot of things and struggled to go upstairs, but I didn't open the door, and my neighbor across the street couldn't help me. As a result, I asked which floor I lived on. On the wrong floor.
At that time, I felt like crying, exhausted physically and mentally, and really didn't want to live like this anymore.
My own house is a big three-bedroom house, and my wife is alone at home. I still miss her every day. It's an hour's drive, and I didn't go back to accompany her until the weekend.
I discussed it with my wife. Why not talk to our son and daughter-in-law? Let grandchildren eat in the school cafeteria at noon and cook by themselves in the morning and evening.
My son didn't say anything when he looked at us like this, but his wife didn't want to. After a few years, it passed quickly. The future of children is a big event. If it is delayed, it will be too late to regret it.
In this way, we are helpless, so let's continue to help, and make do with it in a few years. Don't embarrass our son then, we will be scolded by them again.
But I'm really worried about my wife and want to rent another suite and let her go with me, but our pension is really not much. If we rent two suites, we will have no extra living expenses.
My son's family of three followed us and never asked for living expenses. My wife and I were embarrassed to ask for it. Can only endure the separation of the two places and live in fear. I hope this day will be over soon.
In my opinion, Uncle Zhao should first accompany his wife, not his grandson, son and daughter-in-law.
At any time, the relationship between husband and wife is above all relationships. Especially when people get old, mutual help between husband and wife can lead a happy old age. If two people share this way, they will definitely care about each other.
In life, one of the elderly couples goes to the children's house to help with the baby, while the other has much to do. If there is really something that anyone wants to do and then regrets it, it's too late to regret it.
Secondly, I think Mr. Zhao and Mrs. Zhao should learn to let go. You have helped your son's family for more than ten years, and your grandson has already entered junior high school. He is a big boy. Moreover, at this time, Uncle Zhao's sons and daughters-in-law are all middle-aged, and their jobs are stable, so they should be able to take care of their small families.
Uncle Zhao and his wife should communicate well with their sons and daughters-in-law, tell their sons their deepest thoughts and let them think for themselves. My parents have done their best. In their old age, they should enjoy a better life when they are in good health. Don't let parents take care of their own affairs, think more about their parents, let them do what they like and live according to their wishes. This is the best filial piety for children.
Finally, even Uncle Zhao and his wife should learn to grow up. It is not only children and young people who need to learn. Only when one is never too old to learn can one enrich one's mind. Only then can I know how to get along better with others and how to help each other better with my children, instead of sacrificing myself to fulfill my children.
When people get old, they should learn to think independently. Don't think about relying on children to support the elderly in the future, just listen to their demands everywhere. You are not good to them, but you indulge them too much. If this continues for a long time, when you really can't take care of yourself, their indifference to you will hurt your heart even more.
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Thank you for reading and wish you peace and success!
About the author: A retired woman who is luxurious and Zen, loves life, practices Tai Chi with her left hand and writes with her right hand, and enjoys the rest of her life happily!