My long-lost girlfriend suddenly called to complain to me, saying that I was under a lot of pressure recently, because my children needed to be taken to interest classes on weekends and didn't have time of their own. However, the child's study did not achieve any results, and her husband did not understand, saying that she ignored her family. She feels that everything she has done is to let her children win at the starting line. Even if her husband doesn't support her, she keeps throwing cold water on her.
There is no denying that as a mother, she is really attentive. When children are over one year old, they will attend various early education classes. After attending kindergarten at the age of three, he will start attending various interest classes. Now the child has just turned four years old and has taken four classes at the weekend, English, dance, Lego and painting.
She went to many training institutions, attended many classes, and finally chose several excellent training institutions. Because it is not close to home, it is not in the same training institution. Two days at the weekend, either in class or on the way to class. She complained to me that weekends are more tiring than going to work, and adults are already tired. So, what fun can children get from it?
Many parents have the psychology of not letting their children lose at the starting line, so they invest a lot of money in various interest classes, but ignore what our children can learn now and what they need most.
Gesell, an American child psychologist, once did a famous "twin ladder climbing experiment".
In this experiment, my brother has been doing 15 minutes of ladder climbing training every day since he was 48 weeks old. He fell countless times, cried countless times, and got up countless times. Six weeks later, in the 54th week, he was able to climb the stairs independently.
During this period, my brother didn't do any related training, but started the same training intensity and content in the 52nd week. However, in just 2 weeks, that is, the 54th week of birth, my brother was able to climb the stairs independently.
Later, gesell experimented with hundreds of twins of other ages in different fields. Based on the experimental results, gesell believes that individual development depends on maturity, which is the main driving force to promote children's development. When the body is not mature enough, there is no real development and change.
In other words, children are in the preparatory stage of learning before their physical conditions are mature, and learning will only happen when they are ready. If children study when their physical conditions are not mature, they will only waste time.
A study on the Internet compares two modes of early education, play and study, and proves that academic training such as literacy and numeracy may improve the corresponding test scores in a short time, but the advantages of this learning mode will only disappear after 1-3 years.
I have read a story, which is very interesting and worthy of our parents' deep thinking.
1968, a 3-year-old girl named Edith in Nevada told her mother that she knew the first letter "o" of "OPEN". Mother was very surprised because the letter "O" was taught in kindergarten. After praising her daughter, the mother turned and took the kindergarten to court on the grounds that it deprived the child of his imagination.
Because she thought that her daughter could describe "O" as round things like apples, the sun, football and eggs unconsciously, but now the child has lost this imagination, cut off her fantasy wings and asked the kindergarten to compensate Edith for her constant mental disability fee of $65.438 million.
The final result was unexpected, and the kindergarten lost the case. Later, Nevada revised the civic education protection law. At present, American civil rights law stipulates that children have two rights in school. 1. The right to play; 2. The right to ask why.
Deng Yuanjie, the father of the famous fairy tale writer Pipiru, thinks that if life is described as a competition, the metaphor of "starting line" is more appropriate. But "losing at the starting line" is only suitable for short-distance races, such as the 100-meter race. If it is a marathon, you are not afraid of losing at the starting line. On the contrary, marathoners who win at the starting line often get up early and rush to the late gathering because they don't save their physical strength.
We can't just estimate the life span of a child for more than ten years. A child's life is like running a marathon. It doesn't matter whether he starts early or not, because the characteristic of marathon is that the person who laughs last wins the race.
Now that they are all only children, we must provide them with the best conditions so that their feelings of winning at the starting line can be understood. However, for preschool children, parents enroll their children in various interest classes. Even if a child can learn, it is also a mechanical memory, which is not very helpful for future study. It is more likely that children lose confidence and interest in learning because of their poor understanding ability and poor memory.
"Winning at the starting line" is a business education lie without the support of educational theory. Letting children win at the starting line does not mean that children win life. Lack of long-term planning for children's training and excessive attention to winning or losing at the starting point will not only make children lose their happy childhood, but also lead to premature overdraft of wisdom, health and imagination, leading to winning at the starting point and losing at the end.
We should give our children a happy childhood and spend more time with them to feel affection and nature, instead of depriving them of the right to play for the "starting line".