Work aspects
I am an early education teacher, as I wrote when I shared my homework with you. In many daily work, accepting children's emotions is the basic work of our early education teachers, and it is also the most critical point for many courses to be done well. I think it is also the most important step for parents in China to learn.
In the past, I would admit my child's feelings when she was emotional, help her name her emotions, stand in the child's position, feel the feelings of TA, and then use feelings, language and methods to guide TA to flow out. Now I am also trying to make my emotional granularity more sensitive, to observe the child's micro-expressions, movements and even the feelings that ta makes me, to predict the child's inner activities in advance, and then I will try to describe ta's inner emotions in more delicate and clear language, instead of just asking, are you happy? Are you a little sad? I will try to use more delicate emotional language, such as depression, excitement and envy, to help TAs perceive subtle but more accurate emotions. Fortunately, when I communicate with TA with sincere eyes, the children who have just cried in their mother's arms will see these little people after hearing my description of TA's emotions. Stop their excitement first, their tearful eyes will think and feel my words. After confirming that you are right, you will definitely nod your head. So after this class, when you look at the way children look at you, you are no longer strange, but show a kind of trust, flashing like a gem.
interpersonal communication
In getting along with colleagues and friends, it is most likely to produce various emotions. So many methods in the course are more or less practiced.
For example, my colleagues and friends will share their happiness, sadness and complaints with me as before. I will accept them sincerely as before. But when they exaggerate their emotions too strongly and lose their authenticity, I will consciously ask myself not to be curious, especially when the boss is present. Everyone's emotions are theirs. If I really don't feel strong, then I don't need to force myself to pretend. Doing so will not make you so tired in the long run, but also let some people see that some things that everyone recognizes are actually "the emperor's new clothes." If the collective falls for a long time, there will be a scene of collective self-deception. How terrible.
Emotional stop loss means that when my friend's mood is too heavy, I will consciously let myself jump out to stop loss. This is actually quite challenging, especially if your friend is narcissistic and you have a tendency to please. At first, your heart is quite tangled, but when you try to refuse with a gentle attitude and then become more determined, you will find that she will be at a loss at first, but will gradually accept it. So, when you are thinking, others are thinking. When you encounter changes, everyone should accept and grow. If you haven't grown up, it's probably because someone is used to it, or something hasn't happened.
Family get along well.
After I returned to Shanghai, my brother took my father to have a check-up and finally found out the stomach trouble. I began to think about the illness of my family. I still remember a passage in EQ class, in which all negative emotions have positive meanings, such as "sadness", saying that the accumulated wisdom in life lies in the face of loss, and sadness helps us find the most meaningful thing in life, so the positive significance of the sadness of my father's illness now lies in making me pay more and more attention to family ties. I still remember Fan Deng's book "Live Well" mentioned that illness is also a godsend, which makes people find another way to get along with the elderly more intimately and begin to cherish every interaction and companionship. In class, I also wrote that "regret" can be divided into long-term regret and short-term regret. Now I have no regrets. What I can do now is to turn my sadness over and find a firmer and more intimate way to get along with my family, so that I won't leave regrets for my family every day.
Self-spiritual growth
At the beginning of the new year, I began to write my own emotional diary. I wrote it every night at first, which was rough and unclear. Now, after capturing my emotions more and more sensitively, I begin to realize the fluctuation of my emotions and describe what happened and my inner changes more delicately. I will take this emotional diary as my daily micro-habit, plus my own reflection and reading. I believe that I can not only describe my emotions more accurately and vividly in the future, but also know the reasons why I have such emotions, and how to face or resolve them correctly when I reappear next time, so as to live more transparently and freely.
Well, this is the harvest and practice of my first EQ class. I am especially grateful to meet Xiaodou, and thank you for establishing this EQ community and organizing many people who take the initiative to make themselves better to participate in this EQ community. I look forward to our second EQ class. We will always study together, absorb nutrients silently and grow silently in time.