"Phobia" is the embodiment of the baby's social development to a certain extent. It is the embodiment of baby's perception, discrimination and memory ability, emotion and interpersonal relationship development.

Fear of life and attachment

Fear of life and attachment are two emotions that appear at the same time. When the baby becomes attached after 6 months, he just refuses to leave his mother or the person who mainly takes care of him. Another manifestation of attachment is separation anxiety. In the mother's arms, the baby feels safe and anxious when he leaves his mother. So when a baby meets a stranger, as long as he is by his mother's side, he won't show so much fear. At least, his fear of life will be weaker. If the mother talks and laughs with strangers and keeps close contact for a long time, the baby will know strangers.

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The development of baby's fear of life

A careful mother will find that the baby can respond to her mother at 3-4 months. As long as the mother is close to the baby, he will be happy with his mother and express his happy mood. When the mother walks around the house, the baby's eyes will follow her figure and show an obvious expression that wants to attract her attention. Once the mother ignores it, the baby will cry If the mother is not in sight, the baby will also express his dissatisfaction by crying loudly.

At the age of 5 months, with the expansion of the baby's self-awareness and range of activities, the baby's recognition ability has been continuously enhanced, and it has begun to have obvious memory, which can distinguish relatives from strangers and produce different reactions. Because he is unfamiliar with strangers and doesn't like them, he will feel afraid and unsafe, so he has the phenomenon of "fear of life"

The 6-month-old baby has already begun to have emotions such as attachment, fear, recognition of strangers, disgust and hobbies. , and shows obvious affection for acquaintances, and can show different reactions according to the intimacy of family members. For the purpose of self-protection, babies at this stage will show allergic reactions to strangers and unfamiliar environments, and they are most attached to their mothers.

It is more common for babies of 8 or 9 months to recognize strangers. /kloc-babies over 0/year old have begun to have independent consciousness and are full of curiosity about everything. Coupled with the expansion of activities, they have the desire to leave their parents' arms and explore the surrounding environment. However, babies of this age are still very attached to their parents and relatives, and may show timidity once they meet people and things they have never seen before. Therefore, babies in this period are independent and dependent.

Even at the age of 2 or 3, the baby is still afraid of strangers and strange scenes, which is the nature of the baby's development. In addition, due to the difference of genetic factors, the family upbringing environment of babies is also very different, so the recognition degree of each baby is also very different.

When the baby just shows signs of "shyness", the mother can consciously take the baby to contact other people. For example, let other family members help feed the baby, drink water, change diapers, joke, hug and play simple games, let people who are not familiar with the baby joke on the baby, and help the baby adapt to various social environments that he may come into contact with through contact with others.

Solutions to the baby's fear of life

1, prevent in advance

When the baby doesn't know how to identify strangers, he can consciously take the baby to contact other people. For example, let other family members help feed the baby, drink water, change diapers, joke, hug and play simple games, let people who are not familiar with the baby joke on the baby, and help the baby adapt to various social environments that he may come into contact with through contact with others.

2. Gradually expand the scope of communication.

For an unfamiliar baby, the mother can start with people familiar to the baby, let the baby get used to interacting with people other than the mother or the caregiver, and then let the baby gradually get in touch with the environment where there are more familiar people and fewer strangers. After getting familiar with the environment where several strangers are present, expand his contact range and let the baby adapt to the ability of interacting with strangers and adapting to strange environment little by little.

3. Don't force your baby to associate with strangers.

It should be noted that when solving the baby's fear of life, never force the baby to be close to anyone, which will only further deepen the baby's xenophobia. When strangers arrive, if the baby is afraid of strangers, he can familiarize himself with the situation and then gradually approach strangers. If the baby doesn't want to be close to strangers, don't force him, let alone let him be with strangers. In addition, when meeting someone your baby doesn't know, parents should formally introduce your baby to strangers. No matter how strange your baby is, you should face strangers with a relaxed and happy attitude, which can help your baby quickly eliminate concerns. There are more opportunities to run in with strangers, and the baby's fear can naturally be alleviated and finally overcome.

4. Try to vote for the baby.

Generally speaking, babies prefer young women and babies. Therefore, we can start with these people and let the baby contact strangers. When taking the baby to play outdoors, to relatives and friends' homes or when friends come to their own homes, parents can hold the baby and say hello to those beautiful aunts or children first, so that the baby can gradually realize that there are many other people around besides family members, and they are also amiable and don't be afraid. According to these characteristics of the baby, the mother can try to expand the baby's social circle around the baby's preferences.

5, looking for opportunities to play the baby's strength

Observe the baby more at ordinary times to see what he is interested in, and then cultivate his specialties according to his interests, so that he can have more opportunities to express himself, which can enhance his self-confidence. The baby's self-confidence is enhanced, and the timid heart will gradually weaken.

6. Cultivate your baby's sense of security

Parents' attitudes and feelings towards their babies should be stable, and they should not be hot and cold. It's best to take good care of the baby, keep in touch at a fixed time, avoid the baby seeing his mother for a long time, and especially don't intimidate the baby with words like "I don't want you anyway" and "give you to someone else".

7. Don't spoil your children.

Many spoiled babies are timid. For example, don't be too surprised to see your baby climb into bed; The baby hit, don't be too appeased; If the baby wants to get a glass of water by himself, let the baby get it by himself, and so on. Most babies are very sensitive to adults' attitudes. If parents are always worried and anxious about their babies, they are likely to become more timid. Excessive recognition of strangers is one of the consequences of this kind of upbringing.

8. Communication methods should be appropriate.

Babies like to keep a certain distance when interacting with strangers, and don't like strangers touching their bodies. Therefore, when you meet an acquaintance with a baby in your arms, you can greet and talk to the other person naturally first, and then tell the baby who the other person is when the baby gets used to it. When the baby is familiar with strangers, you can touch or even hug the baby. Never give your baby to a "stranger" suddenly, so as not to strengthen his vigilance and nervousness, but to make him more afraid.

9. Create opportunities for your baby to interact with strangers.

Encourage your baby to do more outdoor sports and play games with friends outdoors. For shy children, it takes a little courage to try to play dirty games such as sand, catching bugs and patting the ball, and "dangerous" games such as jumping up and down on the steps, chasing each other and grabbing the ball. It is inevitable that children will bump into each other when they are outdoors. Parents should not make a fuss. These "brave" games are good ways to help children practice their courage.

The reason why babies are afraid of life

The phenomenon of "fear of life" in infancy is generally around 1.5 years old. With the expansion of knowledge, the opportunities to meet strangers increase, and the fear of strangers is gradually eliminated, which naturally eliminates the phenomenon of "fear of life".

However, due to the different environment of each child and the different education methods of parents, some children still have the phenomenon of "fear of life" when they are 3 ~ 4 years old. This needs to attract the attention of parents. There are two reasons for this "fear of life"

Environment is a very important factor.

Modern families are mostly miniaturized families of three, living in high-rise single-family houses, and closing the door is a small world. The only child only faces his parents at home most of the time, and has not been in contact with outsiders for many years, which gradually makes the child form a habit and psychological "stereotype" that only with his parents is the safest and most comfortable, but he feels unsafe when he meets strangers.

Improper education can lead to "phobia"

Some parents are afraid that their children will get into trouble when they go out alone, but they will scare their children, and their children will become timid and afraid of meeting strangers; Some parents are afraid that their children will go out and be bullied by others. They are afraid that their children will suffer and learn badly. It is better to stay at home. Some people are afraid that their children will be exposed to infectious diseases and are willing to keep them behind the door.

These parents artificially restrict children's activities and communication opportunities, so that children can't get information from the outside world and live a closed life, which will inevitably make the phenomenon of "fear of life" born in infancy continue into early childhood, and even affect the character of children and adolescents.