A few days ago, a father who sent a special product to his daughter all the way made the topic of distant marriage fire again.
The circle of friends began to publish articles on long-distance love, and there were always sad women who spoke out the grievances of long-distance love.
They took pains to pour out the disappointment and regret of long-distance love, counting the piles that made them feel wronged, and some even said that long-distance love only had disadvantages and no benefits.
When it comes to distant marriage, it is full of either tragic death or active punishment. It seems that the days after marriage are only miserable and isolated from happiness. Many people tell unmarried girls not to marry far away in an experienced tone.
With unquestionable determination and disappointment in marriage, the word "don't marry far away" is enough to scare off a large number of young people who are eager for marriage.
I never like grandstanding. It seems irrational to me to knock over a boat with one pole, so the suggestion of getting married not far away makes me very disgusted.
Your marriage is unhappy, your friendship is not satisfactory, and your life is unsatisfactory, so you throw the pot to a distant marriage, as if it caused all your unhappiness, and you can't help it yourself.
However, this road is your choice. At first, no one forced you around your neck with a knife rest. You insist on marrying yourself.
It's useless to complain about the road you chose, and it's even more useless to regret it. You must continue to kneel.
After listening to the sadness of a married woman in a long-distance relationship, I especially want to say that you are not happy, and it really has nothing to do with long-distance relationships. The problem is still yourself.
Don't worry about whether it's worth marrying far away.
There are many articles about long-distance love, but they all say the same thing over and over again, just because love is not worth it.
Far-married women generally think that they are far-married for love, and conceptually think that far-married is a sacrifice.
Their inner play is this: I left my job for you and cut off my original foundation to join you. This is a great sacrifice. In order to make up for my sacrifice, you have to be doubly kind to me and make me happy.
This mentality is very dangerous.
Since we have made sacrifices, we are eager for compensation, so people become sensitive and psychologically unbalanced. It is good that men can take care of their inner sentimentality. Once men can't satisfy them, or are slightly negligent, they will feel left out, so they will be wronged, complain, nag and put pressure on men.
Men can accommodate at first, but after a long time, they will feel great psychological pressure, because they find that no matter how they accommodate and please, they can't get rid of their moral inferiority. They just want to escape, but they are too lazy to please them.
Therefore, women will be disappointed in marriage, coupled with the prevalence of widowed marriage, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the children's affairs, women think it is not worth marrying far away.
However, loving each other means not asking if it is worth it.
If you really love each other, all your efforts are sincere and willing. I am willing to pay, which represents the richness of my life and my confidence in love, so a truly mature person doesn't care about value.
Once you lose your heart, your mind will start to be unbalanced, there will be more and more contradictions, and happiness will get farther and farther.
Therefore, the unhappiness of a woman who marries far away has little to do with marrying far away and much to do with her mentality.
? 3. No matter whether you are far away from marriage or not, you will face contradictions in marriage.
Quarrel with my husband, run away from home, have nowhere to go, and can only cry until dawn in the hotel. This is the most mentioned situation for women who have been married for a long time.
This kind of complaint is a bit like the feeling of the little daughter-in-law returning to her mother's house in feudal society.
In the past, when there was a conflict with a man, the woman would pack her bags and go back to her parents' house, waiting for the man to pick her up.
They have no choice but to go back to their parents' house and let men bow their heads for a while to resolve their grievances.
This kind of thing was understandable before, but now women can hold up half the sky and think about going back to their parents' house when they quarrel. It's really naive.
We're all adults. If there are contradictions, try to communicate, eliminate differences and solve them, instead of running away like a little wife.
Another dilemma is that married women in long-distance relationships are out of the familiar life circle and face many difficulties in living in strange places, such as eating habits, cultural customs, social circles and so on.
It is relatively easy to stay in a familiar place, but it does not mean that it is difficult to live in a different place. Women who really go for love, love is their motivation, they will resolve loneliness, digest grievances, integrate into local life, and settle all obstacles in front of them.
As long as you are married, no matter whether you are married or not, no one can escape the contradiction in marriage. Those women who think they will be happy when they get married are just not independent, mature and strong enough to handle their own happiness.
Your happiness can only be won by yourself.
My sister-in-law is what everyone calls a long-distance married woman.
She married all the way from Zhejiang to Hebei. After seven years of marriage, my husband and children are around, and my life is thriving. Besides, she is especially suitable for our life. Sometimes I forget that she is from the south.
It's not that she is heartless, of course she will be wronged and disappointed, but that's only temporary.
I remember when I first came, her circle of friends was gray and gloomy. Besides unhappy life, the topic is bad mood. Every few days, something like "this is not my home" will pop up.
At that time, they just got married, and her brother often traveled on business and seldom stayed at home. Her work has just started, and she has many difficulties. Besides, she is new here and has no friends, so she is very depressed.
But it wasn't long before she was alive and kicking.
Her work is slowly on the right track and she gets along well with her colleagues. She also developed a new hobby, joined various rock climbing clubs, and often followed the organization to climb mountains on weekends.
After having children, life is more exciting.
Taking children to early childhood classes can make some friends and get along well with my brother's colleagues and friends. They often take their children to colleagues' homes, have more parties than I do, and have a colorful life.
Life here is going well, and she hasn't left her parents.
To catch up with the long vacation, she will take her husband and children back to their hometown, and it will only take a few hours by plane.
After returning to her hometown, she has been dating old friends from all walks of life, and her circle of friends has also uploaded photos of the party. She always looks radiant.
She also paid her parents to come to the north to play, eat and play with them, and do her best to accompany them.
I haven't heard her talk about the bitterness and grievances of distant marriage. All I see is her passion for life, so I think she is quite rational and mature in dealing with this problem.
I once chatted with a girl who was also a distant marriage. She said that after she got married, she could only rely on her husband. If her husband treats him badly, she will hit the wall.
She said this in a joking tone, but it sounded terrible to me.
She has regarded marriage as a gamble, and her happiness depends entirely on her husband. My husband is very nice, of course, he hasn't hit a wall yet, but if he does meet someone, she really can't think about what kind of future she will have.
The idea of expecting men to create happiness for you can only show that women are not independent. Because no one can bear another person's life, let alone take full responsibility for another person's happiness.
No matter when and where, your happiness can only be won by yourself.
5. Since you choose to marry far away, don't be a mother-in-law.
When I'm in a bad mood, it's understandable to complain, but don't go too far.
Those women who say it is not cost-effective to marry far away are still too cowardly to leave all the pots behind to marry far away. They made their own choices, but they didn't want to take responsibility. They just complain. It's really immature.
You know, marriage can't rest easy by making the right choice, and no choice can last a lifetime. Marriage requires reason and courage, but every adult should know what he has chosen, what responsibility he will take, and have the courage to take it.
You should know that your long-term marriage is for happiness, not for love. And since you are married far away, you are destined to seek happiness in a foreign land.
I remember a girl said, married, your parents or your parents; But if you don't get married early, then your husband will be someone else's husband.
She does not regret, does not complain, and calmly moves towards her own happiness.
What many women who have been married for a long time lack is this firmness and calmness.
So since you have chosen to marry far away, don't be such a mother-in-law. If you still have nostalgia for marriage, it is the best policy to face up to fate and give it more stimulation.