If having a second child is your own wish, you don't mind (discomfort during pregnancy, heartbreak during childbirth, feeding more than ten times a night, ugly and fat). . . . . . ), then, give birth quickly now. I believe that even if you encounter more difficulties, you can find a way to overcome them, because once you have the glorious title of "mother", you will become tall, powerful and invincible.

However, the reality is that many second children are "forced" by the emotions of all parties. For example: "My mother said that the two children have a companion and will not be lonely in the future;" His mother wants to have grandchildren; The economic conditions are so good, why not; My friend advised me to live; Now that you are pregnant, give birth. . . "If you have a second child for these reasons, you will probably regret it when you face various problems in the future.

Can you take care of your life after giving birth?

Some time ago, there was a very popular family drama "The Second Child Age", and there was an impressive scene in the play.

William Hinton, a rich second generation lawyer, said to Jin Cancan, "Do you and your wife earn 500,000 yuan a year now? Is the housing environment at home allowed to regenerate one? Are there any parents who can help take care of their children after they are born? " Golden mother also said, "If you have another one, you deserve to live in poverty.". Do you think this line is an exaggeration of art and an alarmist middle class? Not exactly. Because there is such an example around me, my life has fallen into a trough because of my second child.

My friend Linda and her husband both have formal jobs, and the salary in January adds up to about 7,000 yuan, which is not low income in third-tier cities. After having their first child, the two took good care of them, and the children had no worries about food and clothing, and they also participated in various early education classes. Even so, Linda can often do skin care, watch movies, travel and bask in her mood, and her little life is very happy and enviable.

Because the first child was a daughter, my parents-in-law began to force her to have a second child every day when the boss was over 2 years old. Then she couldn't stand the pressure. She was really born, and she was a boy. However, the arrival of the second child not only did not change her position in her mother-in-law's family, but completely disrupted her life.

Before giving birth to a second child, Linda, who is smart, beautiful and capable, has always been our role model, and now she can only be used as a negative textbook. Originally slim, she gained 40 pounds, with rough skin, serious dark circles and frequent illness. In order to take care of her two children, she gave up the promotion opportunity and took a long vacation. I didn't expect my mother-in-law to complain that her son was working too hard to earn money to support his family. I finally weaned my second child, and when I returned to the workplace, I found that the position of manager had been robbed, so I had to compromise and start from the ordinary staff. Just as she was preparing to work hard, her husband's friend told him that her husband was having an affair with the new intern.

The once sweet couple are now arguing about various trifles every day, and even have the idea of divorce. Linda told us that she sacrificed not only her body and work, but her whole daily life. If there is a chance to do it again, she will definitely fight to the end and resolutely not give birth to a second child.

Isn't Linda's experience a problem for all couples who want to have a second child? In addition to the three unavoidable mountains of time, energy and money, there are also the problems of Dabao and parents' pension, which should be considered clearly before you have a second child.

Adding a child is more than just adding a pair of chopsticks and a seat.

In the second-child theme program "The Age of the Second Child", Yang Yangyang, who became popular from "Where's Dad Going", broke out in the face of simulated second-child sister Eva: "I don't like anyone, I'm a wild child". The fuse of the incident was actually because mom and dad taught him "My sister is still young, you should let her go", so skipping rope and putting drinks finally went wrong.

I am also a two-child family. At that time, my mother wanted my 8-year-old brother to take better care of me. Although mom and dad always said that their love for me would not change, I was always worried about having a younger brother, because they never asked me if I wanted a younger brother. After having a younger brother, I always feel that they are not as careful about me as before, and they also have contradictions with my younger brother. My mother always tells me to let him go.

This practice directly led to my insecurity, introversion and inferiority for a long time, and my relationship with them became more and more unfamiliar. This very bad state didn't improve until I got married and had my own children.

The arrival of the second child is a big problem for Dabao. "How to guide Dabao's psychological growth without feeling neglected because of Bauer's birth? How do parents optimize the allocation of energy, time and economy? How to establish a good relationship between two children? " These are all problems that will be encountered after giving birth to a second child.

Who will bring the second child?

According to some surveys, as many as 70% of two-child families list "no one to bring" as the biggest burden brought by two children. After the birth of the second child, 70% of the elderly personally participate in raising the second child, and another 8% of the elderly can't bring it, but they will pay for someone. In other words, nearly 80% of the elderly are closely involved in the raising of the second child. In contrast, only 10% of families said they would solve the problem of taking care of two children by hiring a nanny.

Anyone who has given birth to a child knows that the husband plays a weak role in pregnancy, childbirth and parenting. A good mother-in-law and a good mother can bring your life back to normal. Many relationships are promoted and broken in the first three years after giving birth.

Because of the increase in the cost of raising children, many mothers will go back to work to earn milk powder soon after giving birth. Of course, it is best to have the help of the elderly at this time, but not every family has the help of the elderly. It depends on the physical condition of the elderly, whether they are willing or not, and we must also handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and son-in-law. The older generation may have insufficient reserves and may have different opinions on parenting.

If you choose to bring your own, you really have to be fully prepared, because you will be very tired, especially when you are old, which will be more obvious after having two children. There is a post-70 s colleague around, who remarried after divorcing her ex-husband and gave birth to another child. Despite her mother's help, she is still embarrassed and looks less capable, elegant and stuffy than before. In order to take good care of her two children, she gave up a lot of private time.

Giving birth is not as simple as adding a pair of chopsticks and a seat. His influence on a family is enormous. For men, it is a hurdle for women to bear more economic pressure, which will greatly affect their health, energy, economy and work. For the elderly, they need to squeeze out and sacrifice their leisure time to help their children.

Although the "two-child policy" has been fully liberalized, many families have the opportunity to enter the "two-child era" and feel the warmth of their children enjoying the companionship of their brothers and sisters, but giving and receiving will always be an increasing proportion. As a mother, it is absolutely necessary to bear the great pressure of body, energy, career and economy, so you should think carefully before giving birth.