The next day, when I sent her to class, she said to me, "Dad, go to work quickly. I can play with the children here. "
I was moved to tears at that time. Yes, my baby is too sensible and brave.
In fact, children's independence is not as fragile as we thought. On the contrary, what is vulnerable may be our parents' own psychology.
I told my friend about my child's performance in early childhood classes. My friend said that your baby is really excellent, but my baby can't, and I won't let it go.
In fact, where is my baby outstanding? I think the babies who went to class that day were quite independent and brave. Only one or two too young cried.
My friend asked me if I had any good ideas. I thought about it, but it is nothing more than two points: guidance and patience.
Montessori, an Italian educator, once said: "Education should first guide children along the road of independence."
The so-called guidance, I understand, is to patiently teach children how to do those things independently and tell him "you can do it!" "
One month before attending the early education class, the husband and wife began to consciously cultivate their children's independence.
Let her clean up the toys she played with. At first, the child didn't want to lose his temper, so we accompanied her to clean up and told her to do her own thing and take care of her toys.
The paper towel she wiped her mouth and the snacks she ate reminded her to take it to the trash can, telling her that a child who loves cleanliness is a good child.
It is easy to form habits, but it is more difficult to take care of yourself. Because the baby is young, he can't eat by himself or go to the toilet by himself. So it's harder to teach.
But it is difficult for children to learn by themselves. After all, she will enter school one day.
Every time she goes to the toilet, her mother or grandmother will accompany her, teach her how to pull up her clothes so as not to get wet, teach her how to wipe her ass, and then tell her to wash her hands after going to the toilet.
Eating is also a big problem, and the greatest patience is to spend time with her to eat slowly. At first, she may not even be able to hold the spoon well. It doesn't matter. Take your time. Tell her it doesn't matter if it falls on the table. Try again.
Children's independence is not achieved overnight, and no one is born independent. Parents' patience is the best care for children to learn to be independent.
It is said that every year when kindergarten starts, a group of "strange creatures" will appear outside the campus. They either squat down or hide behind the wall, gently lean out their heads and secretly aim at the classroom to see if their baby is crying.
Many times, they will still have tears in their eyes, not because they are moved, but because they are not at ease. Or you can see the baby crying in the classroom. They are also outside, even a little impulsive. They run directly into the classroom and pick up the baby for warm care: "Okay, okay, baby, don't cry."
How can children be independent if parents don't let go? Do you have to stay outside the classroom every day?
My friend Zhang Ting is a cruel mother. She told me that on the first day of sending her children to kindergarten, she only said two words to her baby:
"The baby should listen to the teacher at school. Remember to ask the teacher for help when you encounter your own problems. The teacher will love you as much as his mother. " Let children know that they are reliable.
"The baby is out of class, and the mother will pick up the baby." Tell the child's parents not to want him.
Then, I turned to work.
I asked him, does the child not cry or make trouble?
She cried and said, the first day I cried badly, my eyes were red and swollen, and my throat was a little sandy.
"God, don't you feel bad about being a mother?"
"Love dearly, it hurts! But what can we do? There is a process for children to adapt to the environment. As parents, we are willing to let go! There are teachers taking care of the school. What are you worried about? "
I asked her, how many days did the child cry before getting used to it?
She said that on the third day, she began to tell me that there were many children playing with him at school, and they could also play slides, learn to draw and learn to dance ... There were many Barabara, and they were very happy.
Yes, since we want our child to learn to be independent, we must give her the opportunity and time to learn to be independent!
Although the second child is now released, most families are still only children. Many parents regard their baby as the apple of their eye, and do everything themselves, for fear that their child will be hurt, and they are always worried that their child is too young to do it.
There is a story that we all heard when we were children. When the baby eagle learns, it will push it off the cliff. Just like an eagle struggling to flap its wings, it naturally learned to fly.
We don't know whether this story really conforms to science.
However, in the process of children learning to be independent, parents sometimes really want to be a "tough guy". Only by "pushing" the child at a critical moment can the child learn to fly solo.
Patience and willingness to let go are the first steps for children to grow up independently. But children's independence is not so simple, there are some minefields, but it cannot be avoided:
First, don't scare the children.
If children want to face the world independently, they will always encounter such problems. Parents should never frighten their children.
Parents are not around, and for children, it is already insecure. So, don't give him unnecessary fear.
Many parents always like to joke with their children that if you are disobedient in kindergarten, the teacher will criticize you, punish you for staying in school, and let you stay in the classroom and not go out to play with your children.
Talking too much, children will only make them feel afraid to live alone in kindergarten.
Second, don't set too high a challenge goal for your child.
As I said before, children learn to be independent, and it is impossible to reach the sky in one step. They should take their time.
Give the child a goal that can be achieved by "jumping" and make him confident in this process, and he will boldly move forward. Early frustration education may lead to children's inferiority complex.
They can learn from simple things, such as cleaning their toys, brushing their teeth and washing their faces, throwing garbage into the dustbin and so on.
Third, let children learn to think independently and support their own ideas.
Ideological independence is also an indispensable part of children's independence.
When children have their own ideas about one thing, as long as they are not fundamentally wrong in values, parents should support them and let them develop the good habit of independent thinking.
What is more precious than independent thinking?