For this, as a mother who has children in the third grade of primary school, I would like to ask very objectively, what is the basis of this conclusion? Are there any surveys and statistics? Is there a comparison? If it is also subjective, I can also say that the children brought out by stay-at-home mothers are smarter! Maybe a lot of people follow. That's right. The children who study well in our baby class are brought up by full-time mothers. Because of the fact, this is the case in the small bacteria class.
? Therefore, this is a false proposition with no definite theoretical support at all. To some extent, this is a comfort. Although we both work and have no time to take care of the children, it is said that it is better for the children! Before pushing down the fragile support of this false proposition, I want to talk about how unrealistic this proposition is taken for granted.
First of all, he assumes that the parents of dual-income families are highly educated and high-quality, and full-time mothers are housewives in the traditional sense. Therefore, the parents of dual-income workers are representatives with long-term vision and advanced ideas, while full-time mothers have become short-sighted, backward and conservative representatives Because stay-at-home mothers are confined to their families and only care about trivial matters, they can't form a good education for their children, while parents of dual-income workers can easily do it in their spare time because they are better themselves.
? Secondly, they assume that children in dual-income families can be more independent, but they will not lack their parents' company; And stay-at-home mothers always do things for their children everywhere, which affects the cultivation of children's self-reliance ability and takes up too much of their own growth time. Well, that's it. Actually, I can't write anymore.
Thirdly, they also assume that the Excellence of children is directly related to whether they are full-time mothers. In other words, once a mother works full-time, she will hurt her children, and they could have been better. ...
? After reading these assumptions, it is estimated that many stay-at-home mothers are already angry! What do you think full-time is? Full-time means lazy, not working, just resting at home? Do you really know how many things a child needs to solve and how stressful the life of a stay-at-home mother is? At this time, the working mother is also very confused. Is it really so beautiful to take care of the children while going to work? Why do I always feel the same way?
? If we want to make this clear, we must first correct the wrong concept of stay-at-home mothers in society. Stay-at-home mothers are not the representatives of low energy and backwardness, nor are they lazy. In fact, many highly educated and capable women have started to be full-time mothers, not because they have more money at home, but because their children need it. For an ordinary family, women can't work without the help of the elderly to take care of their children, especially before their children are three years old. Who else would you give it to? Maybe you will say that there are all kinds of nannies. Of course, if you think that any middle-aged nanny at the primary and secondary school level is better than her mother raising children, then I have nothing to say. I've seen how nannies take care of children. When a bunch of children are playing together, you can tell at a glance which child is not with relatives. They tend to be timid, quiet and introverted, which has nothing to do with the nanny's personality.
? Many times, a woman can return to the workplace immediately after giving birth because she has an understanding mother or a lazy mother-in-law, otherwise it is basically impossible. Ok, let's discuss the problem of asking the elderly to help with the children. Let's not talk about education for a while. All kinds of disputes between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are enough to write a group of articles. I have seen this situation many times. There are also people who send their children back to their hometown. This is a tearful thing. When they miss their children at work, they catch up with the holidays to see them. What greeted her was not the affectionate hug of the child, but the indifferent eyes. At that time, almost every woman had the urge to resign.
A colleague of mine, whose children started working after kindergarten, can only come back on weekends two days a week. Three years later, the child should go to primary school, only to find that the child can't even add and subtract from one to ten, let alone pinyin, and the primary school can't follow the class at all. So she hated it, quit her job, and then helped her, and finally let her children catch up with the class after the second grade.
? Of course, this is an example. Most working mothers can accompany their children after work. That's what I did. I try to get off work early every day, try not to work overtime, and try to use my mobile phone to attend meetings that need to be held after work ... This actually requires a lot of pressure, because you can't always be special, but if you don't do something special, your children may be asleep when you come back from overtime. I lay quietly beside her for a while and my tears came out. During the years when I was busy with my work, my relationship with my children was the worst. She became rebellious and short-sighted. She is a mess in the piano class, and her pinyin and arithmetic are also average.
? The girl next door is a very strong woman. Her children started working in less than 100 days, and all the care of the children was left to her mother. She travels a lot, and sometimes she can't see her children for 20 days in half a month. When the child grows up, he listens to his grandmother, but turns a deaf ear to his mother's words. She often says that she has no authority over her children.
The reason why I give so many examples is to say that not every woman's work is so easy, and children can get off work after school; You can ask for leave at any time when you have a parent-teacher meeting or when your child is sick. For women, the cost of balancing family and career is too high. That working woman owes her children nothing?
? Whether a stay-at-home mother does more harm than good or more harm than good to her children depends on a person. The same woman, if she goes to work, her children will be better. If she takes care of the children full-time, will the children change? Obviously, it must not be like that. There are also many excellent women around me who choose to take care of their children full-time for active or passive reasons. In fact, their family education is really excellent. Full-time mothers can provide the most convenient counseling for their children and even serve as early education; And have time to explore children's amateur talents, take a music class, an art class or something; ? At all stages of children's growth, there will be no absence and no sense of loss. It would be better if the children of stay-at-home mothers, I believe, because they put more energy into their children instead of giving this time to long and boring meetings. Especially before children go to kindergarten, this difference is more obvious. How can a nanny, or an old man, replace the most caring and considerate mother?
After entering primary school, my mother's accompanying pressure will be less, and she may be more considerate in education and counseling. At this time, many people may feel that stay-at-home mothers are incompetent. In fact, at this time, if conditions permit, most women will return to the workplace, and even if they don't return to the workplace, they will take care of their time very fully. Yan Xin's mother is Xiao Muer's classmate and a full-time mother. Because of the superior economic conditions at home and the factory, I stopped looking for a job. After seeing Xinxin off, she learned guzheng and embroidery, and there are many things I don't know. Mushrooms always come back, and he is envious. There are also some stay-at-home mothers who choose to open their own small shops or run small industries, which won't take up too much time, that is, they can guarantee some income and the companionship time their children need. I don't know. Still a stay-at-home mom? In another article, I define stay-at-home mothers and working women in this way, just to see where their focus is and where they spend more time and energy. I think a woman is excellent if she can still have a little life under the condition of taking good care of her children.
Finally, will stay-at-home mothers affect children's independence? More or less, because as long as there are conditions, mothers always want to give it to their children as much as possible, instead of watching him try it himself. I have seen some children who have been in the fifth and sixth grades of primary school, but they are still picked up every day and can't go to school by themselves. However, it must be said that there may be more elderly people like grandparents among these parents, and few young parents. Generally speaking, it is not difficult to say which generation affects children's independence more. As the saying goes, "children from poor families take charge early". When they are not accompanied, children do start to do things by themselves earlier, but they always feel a little cruel. I prefer to cultivate a child's self-reliance ability slowly when conditions permit, rather than forcing him to grow up too fast. One day, Xiao Mu said to me, "Mom, I want to go to school by myself." Although I was very upset at that time, I agreed, and I thought it was good.
In short, this proposition is meaningless. How a family raises children depends on the specific situation of the family. Whether women work hard in the workplace or go home full-time is not entirely subjective. To say that a stay-at-home mother will affect the children's Excellence is really a slip in the world. All mothers will try their best to give their children the best. As for Excellence, it is like being the first in the class, and there can only be one mother. Can't you deny a mother for this? After all, we don't raise children for various firsts. It is enough for him to be the best himself, so why compare with others.