Your mother-in-law takes care of her daughter instead of your baby. Don't you know what you did wrong? You don't know, how do we outsiders know? Does your husband know? Then your mother-in-law must know? You can't ask, and your husband is embarrassed to ask!

It seems that you need your mother-in-law to take care of the baby! Some daughters-in-law don't trust her mother-in-law to take care of her baby, so they are picky and make her mother-in-law helpless. Moreover, your mother-in-law will not bring it to you directly, and it is ok to enjoy retirement, but only for her own daughter. It's really incredible. Don't you know why? Didn't you have obstacles before? Is there any reason why your mother-in-law didn't show it at all There must be a reason, but you don't know and don't recognize it!

If you still need your mother-in-law to take care of your baby, if there is really a contradiction. Then solve the contradiction! In front of the elders, if the younger generation knows nothing, it will make the elders sad enough to ignore the children. This is not a general problem. So if you want to find a way to communicate, just send the child and her husband together and tell her mother-in-law that we have something to help, and her mother-in-law won't care! Or you all need to go to work, let your mother-in-law take care of the children and see what she says.

I don't think there is a grandmother who doesn't like her grandchildren. What happened between you two? If you know something, you can solve it. You might as well coax your mother-in-law and buy some gifts. Old people are most afraid of being coaxed She should put her son's children before her daughter's children. As long as you have enough respect for your mother-in-law, as long as you trust her. The problem is solved, or it is really that you have done nothing wrong. There are too few such mothers-in-law. Then tell your husband and your mother-in-law. What's not satisfactory? Otherwise, there is no reason to be partial! Let the mother-in-law say the reason. If there is no reason, it takes a bowl of water to convince the child.

Don't worry, look for the reason from yourself first, as long as there is a reason, it will be easy. The above is my answer, and I don't know if it fits your situation. For reference only, I hope it helps.

The mother-in-law doesn't take care of your baby, but her daughter. Son and daughter, the palms of their hands are full of meat. I wonder how your mother-in-law did something wrong because she didn't take good care of your children. Maybe the mother-in-law just thinks her daughter needs more care. Have you thought of any other reasons?

I'm a daughter. My mother is almost 80 years old this year. She has been living alone since my father died. Shortly after my father died, my mother didn't want to live in the old house because of her shadow in her heart. She wants to move to my brother's new house. My brother's new house has six floors, and the land for building the house was bought by my father. We just want my mother to move to the second floor. However, in spite of this, my sister-in-law tried every means to prevent my mother from living. Later, I had no choice but to take my mother to live with me. During the days when my mother lived with me, I went to work, and my mother sold vegetables and cooked for me every day. I was very happy when I came home from work.

But I don't know, but because my mother lives in my house, my brother-in-law thinks that her mother didn't help her with the children and hates her coming. He also said that all my mother's good things were for me ... it was hard for me to argue. Obviously, she didn't let my mother live with me. Why am I wrong now?

Later, because my second sister returned to her hometown from Nanning last year, my mother was able to move to a new home. When she came back, she seemed to see a lifeline and said that she would move out to live in a new house. At that time, my brother happened to be at home, and my brother was a little afraid of her, so my second sister gave him money to buy her some basic daily necessities, and her mother settled down on the second floor of my brother's new house.

Although I live in the same building, my brother-in-law has never invited my mother to dinner on holidays since my mother moved in. Even my nephew and niece went downstairs to see my mother, and my brother-in-law scolded them. I didn't say hello when I saw my mother go upstairs and downstairs. ...

I always feel that my mother, despite all her shortcomings, is at least an old man who is almost 80 years old now. How can a young man set an example for future generations when he doesn't even have the minimum respect for the elderly? When everyone is old, I don't know if you are a mother-in-law, so will your daughter-in-law. How did you feel when you became a mother-in-law?

So I think everything may happen for a reason. You can't say that just because your mother-in-law didn't take good care of your baby, you think you did something wrong. Have you ever thought? Mother-in-law to take care of her daughter, just think you don't need her to take care of your children.

In many areas, it seems that mother-in-law can only take care of her daughter-in-law, but not her daughter. It seems that it is natural for a mother-in-law to take care of her daughter-in-law, and it is unreasonable to look down on her daughter-in-law.

However, the same is true. It seems that there are more mothers-in-law who take care of their daughters-in-law, more grandchildren and fewer grandnephews. Grandson is a member of the family. What about nephews and grandsons? Don't say it.

Mother-in-law is not bringing a baby to her daughter-in-law, but a baby to her daughter. There are probably two reasons. First, maybe the daughter-in-law is at home and the daughter is not at home. Maybe my daughter is working outside and has no time to take care of the baby.

Second, the time brought to the daughter may be very short, a day or two, a month or two.

As a mother, as a parent, it is understandable to bring a daughter-in-law to her daughter. As parents, children will help when they are in trouble and will not look on coldly. As a mother-in-law, I probably won't do anything like "losing my pawn to protect my car" or my daughter-in-law, and I won't be confused between east, west, north and south.

Understand your parents more!

You did nothing wrong.

A mother-in-law can choose who will take care of her baby. She has her own ideas and choices, doesn't she?

Mother-in-law has her own ideas, which affects whether she will take care of your children. First, is it difficult for a daughter to take care of her children by herself? It is normal for her to feel sorry for her daughter. Second, are you strong? If she helps you with your children, you will have something you don't like, and the old man will feel distressed. Third, it's normal if your mother-in-law always gives you money and doesn't bring it to you.

Why did you feel wrong in the first place? Judging from the whole thing, didn't this mother-in-law have a problem first?

Of course, there is nothing wrong with saying that a mother-in-law must help her daughter-in-law with her children, or help her daughter with her children, but the logical direction of your thinking is not quite right. For example, after a mother gave birth to a second child, her attention shifted and she concentrated on Bao Xiao, so she left Dabao in the cold, sometimes even more seriously than before. If Dabao's psychological activity at this time is: "Mom doesn't like me and only loves my brother, is it something I did wrong?"

what do you think? Over time, in order to make his mother like him, Dabao will carefully "please" his mother.

Anyway, you don't have to blame yourself for your mother-in-law's behavior, but you can find the reason from your mother-in-law.

In the traditional concept, especially in the old concept of "children provide for the elderly", it is generally believed that mother-in-law helps daughter-in-law to take care of children first, and then take care of her daughter.

This concept must be known to your mother-in-law, even deeply rooted. Now she's doing the opposite. What does that mean? Explains three points:

First of all, her daughter needs her help more.

Maybe her daughter's economic condition is worse than yours, and the old man's heart is that her daughter needs help more; Or your child is old enough to be in custody, and so on.

Secondly, compared with her son and daughter-in-law, she feels more comfortable and comfortable with her daughter's home.

This may show that you have deep contradictions, such as the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and your son is not considerate. But the contradiction is both sides, not a question of who is right or wrong. Let's just say that everyone understands each other and compromises with each other.

But now, your mother-in-law doesn't want to compromise and tolerate. This is her choice and can only be respected.

Third, your mother-in-law is devoted to her daughter.

No matter how well you do, or for whatever reason, your mother-in-law likes and cares more about her daughter than her son and tries her best to help her daughter's family. If so, it is entirely her personal problem, and there is nothing to say, let alone worry about what she has done wrong.

In addition, there may be a little. You are very unkind to the old people, bullying them, beating them, making them feel cold, thinking that you are a baiwenhang and don't deserve help at all. However, if you are such people, you won't ask yourself "Did you do something wrong" at the beginning.

Because real villains never reflect on themselves.

In short, to sum up, the mother-in-law is not helping you with your children, but helping your daughter with her children. What can I say? The problems and choices are hers, not yours. There is no need to reflect on yourself.

In fact, everything has two sides. My mother-in-law won't help you. Although you work hard, on the other hand, how many contradictions can you avoid! You know, the two generations have different parenting concepts, which is definitely the fuse of family conflicts or quarrels. Besides, your own children can take care of themselves, take care of them as they want, and no one will pee next to them. Isn't this freedom fragrant?

On this issue, I want to say that the mother-in-law has no obligation to take care of the children. Therefore, as a child, I can't take it out on my mother-in-law just because she doesn't help with the children. Of course, there are many reasons why the mother-in-law doesn't help with the children, not necessarily the daughter-in-law.

The mother-in-law takes care of her daughter instead of her daughter-in-law's own situation.

The premise for a mother-in-law to help with her children is that her mother-in-law is in good health, because bringing children consumes both physical strength and energy. If the daughter is born early and the mother-in-law is relatively young and healthy, when the daughter-in-law is born, the mother-in-law is old and her health is not as good as before, so there is no way to take care of her daughter-in-law. Of course, if there are other reasons at home that prevent the mother-in-law from leaving, it will also lead to the mother-in-law being unable to take care of her daughter-in-law.

The degree of harmony of the relationship

Mother-in-law's purpose of helping children is to help them share their worries, because it is their responsibility to take care of children, and children have no ability and time to take care of children because they have no experience in taking care of children or are busy with their livelihood, so mother-in-law takes the initiative to help take care of children out of love for them. Generally speaking, the relationship between daughter and mother is harmonious, while the relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is subtle, and even some mother-in-law have a very bad relationship, so mother-in-law is more willing to take care of her daughter.

Inconsistent concept of parenting

My daughter and her mother-in-law have lived together for decades, and their concepts are similar in all aspects. Therefore, the two sides will not disagree on how to take care of the children. Even if there are differences, it is easier for mother and daughter to communicate and there will be no contradiction. Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law come from different families, so there may be great differences in the concept of parenting. If the mother-in-law helps with the children, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may deteriorate. In order to avoid conflicts, the mother-in-law chose not to take care of her daughter-in-law.

What if the mother-in-law doesn't help with the children? It's not necessarily a bad thing that a mother-in-law doesn't help with the children, because many deterioration of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law comes from helping with the children. Therefore, there is no need for a daughter-in-law to complain that her mother-in-law doesn't help with the children. Instead of causing conflicts between them, it is better to make more reasonable choices according to her own situation.

Ask your mother to help with the children.

Nowadays, more and more treasure mothers choose to ask their mothers to help with their children, because the two sides have the same ideas and are not prone to conflicts, and mothers are more willing to take care of their daughters' feelings and do what their daughters want to do, which can effectively avoid the breeding of conflicts. As a child, you shouldn't be a shopkeeper just because your mother helps take care of your child. We must take care of the children after work and holidays, which is not only conducive to the cultivation of parent-child relationship, but also allows the mother to have a certain rest, and it is best to give her some financial compensation, which is also a way to express gratitude to the elders.

Send children to early education institutions

In recent years, early education institutions have been favored by many treasure mothers, because formal early education institutions have systematic educational concepts and methods, and can formulate corresponding courses according to the physical and mental development of children of different ages, which is helpful to the development and cultivation of children's physical and thinking abilities. Of course, the cost of early education institutions is relatively high. If family economic conditions permit, Ma Bao can consider this plan. Generally speaking, children over two years old can participate in full-time classes in early education institutions, which is not only conducive to the cultivation of all aspects of ability, but also better adapt to the next kindergarten life.

Quit your job and take care of the baby full time.

This is also a mainstream practice in today's society. With the concept of scientific parenting deeply rooted in people's hearts, more and more treasure mothers choose to take care of their children by themselves, because there are many disadvantages for elders to take care of their children. Early education is very crucial for children's growth and will affect the development of their personality and behavior habits. Of course, full-time nannies must constantly recharge their batteries while looking after the baby. On the one hand, they should learn advanced parenting concepts in order to better educate their children. On the other hand, we should strive to improve our work skills in order to create conditions for future re-employment.

Conclusion With the change of the times, mother-in-law is no longer the only one who takes care of children, and mother-in-law has no obligation to help take care of children. If the mother-in-law doesn't want to take care of the children, Ma Bao doesn't have to force it. Instead of conflicting with each other, it is better to choose a more suitable way to take care of the children according to her own economic and family situation.

You didn't do anything wrong, nor did your mother-in-law.

As a younger generation, it is proper to be filial to parents, because it is parents who have put up their children with great pains. But as parents, they have no obligation to help their children take care of their grandchildren. Of course, they can also choose whether to help their son or daughter with the baby.

If you help your son take care of the baby, you will inevitably have frequent contact with your daughter-in-law, which will inevitably lead to contradictions, especially when you encounter different parenting concepts. Do you want to say it or endure it? And you don't have to be so careful to help your daughter with the children. You can make your own decisions without hesitation.

In Shanghai, there are still more grandmothers with babies, and some mother-in-law even prefer to spend more money for grandmothers to take babies to avoid family conflicts caused by parenting.

Therefore, from the beginning, you should be prepared that your mother-in-law will not take care of the baby, so that when her mother-in-law comes to help, you will naturally be grateful. If her mother-in-law doesn't come, you will discuss the best solution with your husband. As for the mother-in-law helping her daughter, it is quite normal in Shanghai, and there is no need to think about whether it is wrong.

This has nothing to do with what you did wrong. Yes, two children are hard to be fair. Just like some people have two sons who don't live together and are not in the same city. How can they raise two children at the same time? This is very difficult. I don't know who to help. Generally, it is up to the two sons to see who will take care of who. My mom's not the Monkey King. She'll be separated.

Everyone has been calling for equality between men and women for so many years. Both the daughter and the son enjoy their mother's help fairly. So your mother-in-law went to take care of her daughter and didn't take care of your child. This requires your husband to come forward and discuss with your sister to see when he can get out of there and come and help you with the children.

My friend's mother-in-law is two sons, and now she is taking care of the children at her friend's house. Last year, my sister-in-law gave birth to a second child. My friend took the initiative to let her mother-in-law take care of the child at her sister-in-law's house, but her mother said she could help, so her mother-in-law continued to help her take care of the child. But she also discussed with her sister-in-law, and when her mother went back to take care of her grandchildren, she still asked her mother-in-law to take care of her children.

So families can communicate with each other and help each other. Don't complain and guess. Problems can always be solved.

good luck

Who doesn't want to take good care of themselves? In modern society, women don't have to pretend to be closer to their mother-in-law than to their own mother. Mother-in-law doesn't have to be afraid to care about her daughter or daughter-in-law.

According to the law, a daughter-in-law has no obligation to support her in-laws, but has the obligation to support her parents.

Therefore, it is also supported by law to go back to each family to find their mothers when there are difficulties.