First, to do clumsy things, we must first know what our "clumsiness" is.
Take me for example. My greatest weakness is my freedom, and most of my failures in life are because of this.
I can use all adjectives related to laziness, such as procrastination, procrastination, laziness and forgetfulness. ...
Daley. For example, when I wake up in the morning, I spend an hour taking care of my children before taking care of myself. Usually Gu urges me to go downstairs [covering my face]. Fortunately, I haven't gone to kindergarten yet, otherwise I would be late every day.
No sense of time. I want him to lie down and sleep at 9: 30 in the evening, but he often goes to bed at 10: 30, mostly because I don't control the time downstairs or upstairs.
Forget things. Prepare before going to bed, wipe his feet, then remind him to pee, and then wipe his feet when he comes back; He can wear pajamas by himself. After changing it, I remembered that I didn't bring diapers, like underwear, so I took off my pajamas and put on diapers again, and then put on my pajamas.
Fortunately, gu has a good temper Say at most, mom, how did you forget again?
I've been thinking about it for a week, but I can't. I have a bad influence on this child. It's all my fault in the future, and I want to change it!
Old problems are easy to get rid of, but I can't. Can't I hide them?
How did I cheat others?
Children have children's routines, and I also have my routines.
The routine of getting up and going to bed in the morning, the children's priority is the arrangement of matters, my share and the time schedule of everything.
I combed the process and decided to take a shower and drink milk before 8: 30. I'll get ready by myself before nine o'clock. I am playing with toys upstairs. At nine o'clock, I began to collect toys, wipe my face and feet, brush my teeth, pee, change my pajamas ... and read in bed at half past nine on time.
So I have some ideas about time.
Sometimes, I like to play without preparation. Let me remind you, do you want to look at the routine table? What should we do next?
Many times, he is very happy to look at his photos in the routine table and know what to do.
Sometimes he doesn't look.
Ok, then I'll look at mine and say, oh, mom, the next item is hot milk, so I can drink milk after taking a shower!
Agu is going to take a shower.
The routine table above looks perfect, but if Gu Dad doesn't help at home, he often loses to me. I do have a lot of things, and half an hour is not enough.
In addition, as I said before, I am forgetful and often rework, which takes more time.
Agu sometimes runs around naughtily and refuses to change diapers for a long time. Sometimes she thinks of cars and cars after wiping her feet, and then goes to play. I have to save it and wipe it again. One night, I wiped my feet four times.
So I said to Agu, Mom has prepared these things for you. Look, pajamas, diapers and foot wipes. Mom should prepare herself, and when you are all changed, mom will brush your teeth.
Gu was a little confused at first, and whined that Gu couldn't.
I said, do you want to see the conference table? This is your picture. Let's play a game to see if mom is ready first or the first in the valley.
He usually calls me a few times and then starts to prepare himself. After practicing for a week, he likes to pee first, take off his pants, wipe his feet and go to bed, then wear diapers, and finally wear pajamas, so he asks to change the routine.
Well, much more organized than me.
In this way, I don't need someone to accompany me, and I don't need anyone to rush me. I have more than twenty minutes to do my own thing, and I don't feel anxious at all.
For children, the key to execution is the degree of execution of parents.
There are three points to be noted in the effective implementation of the agreement.
One is to agree on a specific time in advance. Make an agreement when you are in a good mood and try to respect your child's choice. Hourglass time. Before there is an hourglass, I will remind you one minute in advance.
The second is effective follow-up. If you don't accept it by then, how can mom help you? Do you accept it by your mother or by yourself? If I really don't abide by it, I really start to collect it once, and it will be easy to implement it later.
The third is a kind and firm attitude. For example, before going to bed, I asked Gu to prepare herself. Sometimes he is still playing and doesn't want to sleep. Sometimes he would shout, "Mom, come and see Agu, or I won't leave"-in fact, this is a delaying tactic.
I said, get ready. We will study in bed at 9: 30 pm/1:30 on time.
At noon yesterday, it was time, and he was not ready. I said I had no time to study. Let's go to bed.
He clamored for a book and his mouth began to flatten.
I squatted down and hugged him and said, mom knows you like reading, but when it comes to time, mom is so sleepy that she can't see clearly and can't stand it.
I have to encourage you: you can try next time. How can you get there in time?
No choice but to climb into bed.
He hung around for a while last night. I said we still have ten minutes to study. If we put the hourglass in front of him, do we still have time to study?
He said it was too late, so he stared at the hourglass.
It may seem that I am a lazy mother who puts everything on her children.
Indeed, I am lazy in helping children.
But I am a diligent mother and good at learning how to take better care of children.
If you want to do what you are good at, you are hiding others by using tools or asking others for help to improve or avoid doing what you are not good at.
Encourage children to pick up toys, they can collect them together, race who is faster, and deliberately lose to children.
Some questions asked by children can be answered, and some can pretend not to understand. Consult information with him, teach him the ability of self-study and expand his knowledge.
These are familiar methods, but weaknesses have other functions.
1. In the face of discouraged children, one magic weapon to encourage him is to make a fool of himself in front of him.
For example, one or two-year-old children have to do many things by themselves, and they are very anxious when they can't do well. But adults want to help him. He is more anxious. Adults are annoying.
At this time, adults can also encourage children by joking. Stay with your child and help him a little, and everyone will be in a good mood.
Recently, Agu is teaching early education, teaching one-legged squat and one-legged jump for the first time. He was always unstable and a little discouraged, so he sat on the ground and quit.
I said, mom, try it. Mom will. Then I stood up and fell in various ways. He stood up with a smile and learned all kinds of wrestling from me.
I said, mom, don't lift your feet so high. Just lift them a little and stand on one foot for a while. He also learned from me, and then slowly practiced harder.
I also heard a story. When a child is afraid of bees, his father will wear a bee hat and make a buzzing sound. Then he just flew around and picked nectar, but he couldn't find his way home. He deliberately hit the wall everywhere, making the child laugh. It turns out that bees are not scary at all, but a little cute.
2. I hope that children know how to be grateful, don't treat their mothers as servants, show weakness appropriately, and let children learn to be considerate and love.
I was pregnant with a second child when Agu was one year old. That's when he loves to hug. Every time he asked me to hug him, I sat and let him hug him, saying that Agu had grown up and her mother was too weak to hold her. Dad is very strong. Dad holds him.
Later, Gu never let me hug him when he went out. Moreover, my classmate is pregnant, and Dabao still hangs on her all day.
After Didi was one year old, Agu was almost three years old. I really want to pick up Agu. He will hesitate and ask, mom, can you?
I was a little sad and took the initiative to pick him up several times. He is happy every time.
Once I took him to play alone. It's about half an hour's walk and uphill. He was really tired on the way. Let me hug him.
Sometimes he hugs, sometimes he hugs, and every time he asks, Mom, are you tired? I said I was tired, and he would come down at once; I said I wasn't tired, and my mother could hold on a little longer, so he smiled happily on my back.
If his father is present, it will be held almost all the time.
3. I hope the family is harmonious, and my mother should also understand the appropriate weakness.
In the past, many mothers' sense of value was mostly reflected in housework. In her eyes, everything at home is in good order, which is her greatest achievement.
She can do anything. She does all the housework. She knows where to put things, what to buy and what to eat.
But it also means that other family members rarely pay for the family. If she is too busy, she will be anxious and the family atmosphere will not be too good. It also means putting things and buying things according to her idea. She is the host and the other members are like passers-by. This also means that she is an authority. At home, she is the truth and everyone else is wrong.
From a psychological point of view, is this uniting people or dispersing people? Most recent articles about cheating have also mentioned this point.
In short, the father should act like an idol in front of the children, and the mother can boldly show weakness.
It is enough to have a superman at home, and I hope it is the father of the child.