Between husband and wife, a widowed child-rearing, a man who can't finish a certain tone without working, and a woman who can't finish her work.
Between parents and children, mothers are usually kind and filial, and chickens fly and dogs jump when tutoring homework.
In the busy schedule, it seems that everyone can't escape "contradiction" and "dispute". Under this pressure, they disturb their mood and even become the last straw to crush the camel.
So, how to get happiness?
Ji Xianlin, a famous master of Chinese studies, said in "Life is the Present", "Turn a blind eye."
This accommodation is the top formula of happiness.
Downstairs, there is always a special group. They are doing nothing, sitting downstairs, and they realize their neighbors. Yes, this special group is my grandmothers. A group of old ladies sit downstairs every day, and their parents are short.
Accustomed to quarreling and fighting at home, grandma came to a conclusion: couples who don't quarrel are the easiest to break up, but quarreling couples are inseparable.
Come to think of it, it is. It seems that every old lady is sober.
A couple, living together, how can they not quarrel or fight?
In those family lives, those who can swallow their voices and endure grievances are all "indifferent" actors. Just like my classmate, she married her husband, because all the conditions match, the economic conditions are good, the two families know each other well, and the boys are not bad. However, after seven years of marriage, she just lives under the same roof and doesn't care about love or care. Therefore, when her husband cheated, she just said faintly: "The money is there, the house is there, and the home is there, which does not affect the children's study."
This kind of couple is not "blind", but completely blind. As the saying goes, "If you die, you will be busy." Careless couples have places to take care of contradictions, and naturally there are quiet families, but this is only the silence before the storm.
A real couple who turn a blind eye can see big mistakes and ignore small contradictions.
In important matters, stick to your bottom line and don't be blind. As a woman, at all times, we should understand the bottom line that we can accept and have the ability to control our own life.
There is news that my wife is going to jump into the river with her two-year-old child because her husband is obsessed with rewarding female anchors.
In this news, the woman really knows her "bottom line" and she can't forgive her husband's mistakes. But she responded negatively, and she didn't have the ability to grasp her own life, because she was a full-time housewife and had no financial resources. However, it is difficult to think about life, and only by going out can you meet heaven.
As a woman, she must have the ability to earn money at all times, so that she can have the confidence to be wronged. We can accompany a person to make a comeback, or we can accompany a person to overcome difficulties and enjoy the present.
Therefore, between husband and wife, the so-called "turning a blind eye" is not only magnanimous to ignore small mistakes and quarrels, but also uncompromising to big mistakes.
There is a video on the Internet. A chef's father took his children to the back kitchen because they didn't study, let them carry the pot, and asked them, "Is the pot heavy?" Or sink with a pen? "
Many people like it, and think that this kind of immersive education can make children intuitively understand what suffering is and study hard.
In fact, the harm behind this is even greater.
Is a cook necessarily worse than a professor with a pen?
The advantages and disadvantages of the industry are artificially divided, and Michelin chefs may be better than many ordinary professors. Parents just think that there are high and low occupations, so they want their children to succeed. When children fail to meet the standards, there are many contradictions.
In addition, parents themselves are cooks, which implicitly sends a message to their children: I don't love my career.
In fact, there may be few things that people can choose freely in their lives, and many people's careers are not their own choices. However, even if you accidentally enter the business, you can do well. For example, Grandpa A Mu, a carpenter with a hot network, showed China's tenon with exquisite skills? Structure. Yuan Longping was born in a petty-bourgeois family, and agriculture was not his own choice. But with his love, he studied persistently all his life and eventually became the father of rice.
For the growth of children, every family wants their children to have a bright future. However, when parents' standards are transformed into their own yardsticks, the parent-child relationship is tense.
The road of life is very long and the times are changing rapidly. Parents' inherent ideas may not really suit their children's development. As a post-80s generation, when I was admitted to university, computer major and economic management were both very popular majors, and many parents registered for their children. But after four years, there are no jobs in this major. Many economic management people do sales, but computer professionals can't repair computers.
Therefore, in the process of children's growth, parents should also "turn a blind eye". The so-called turning a blind eye means not forcing children to become their own plans, but turning a blind eye means being a good teaching assistant, giving children trust, helping them understand society and supporting their interests. After all, interest is the best teacher.
The reason why "turning a blind eye" becomes the top formula of happiness is because it bypasses others and puts itself down.
For others, it is not a high standard constraint, which leads to contradictions between two people;
Don't embarrass yourself, make yourself an optimistic person.
As Ji Xianlin said in his book, "Life is a journey, with short and long. You might as well be optimistic, love someone, climb a mountain, pursue your own dream ... go your own way and see your own scenery. Not to create miracles, just to live in the present. "
May everyone "turn a blind eye" and enjoy happiness.
(Image from the Internet)