In real life, we will see that many children are naughty at home, but they become good babies as soon as they go out. This is the so-called dragon at home and the worm at home. So what is the reason? Maybe the child is uncomfortable in public. The content of this article is to let children be dragons at home and go out.
How to cultivate children's social skills? Listen to him at home, or you will lose your temper! Strangely, when you leave home, you are like a different person, timid and shy. The reasons for your child's "Long Bian worm" are complicated, but they all have one thing in common-at home, your child is familiar with the surrounding environment, relaxed and comfortable, and he easily feels safe. In addition, the child knows that his family loves him unconditionally, and he can hide or even act recklessly, and he will never be punished for it. He is absolutely sure of this, so he will become a Jackie Chan at home.
In public, children are unfamiliar with the surrounding environment and naturally feel insecure. People in the environment are strangers, and he doesn't know what the bottom line of their tolerance for their actions is, so it is inevitable that they are a little cautious and afraid.
There are other reasons why children feel uncomfortable in public:
There is a problem with language expression;
Lack of social experience;
I have suffered setbacks in my previous social experience and lack confidence in myself.
More introverted and timid;
Mom and dad's coping methods:
Children's "out-of-home adults" stem from their unfamiliarity and inadaptability to the external environment. Therefore, parents should first unify the standards of behavior at home and abroad.
At home, children should also be required to use normal and standardized social rules.
Parents should never think that regulating their children's behavior will bind and bind them. Requiring children according to the standards and norms of social environment is actually to help children open a broader life path and help them overcome their inadaptability to the social environment.
It is the responsibility of parents to say "no" to their children. Don't be afraid to say "no". In the social environment, we may be rejected because of reasonable or unreasonable demands, and children must accept and get used to this. Therefore, in the face of children's unreasonable demands, parents should get used to saying "no" and let their children get used to being rejected by others psychologically.
Create a variety of social opportunities for children. At home, children can't learn real social skills and may become timid when they enter public places. Parents can use community activity venues, parks, early education institutions and other places to encourage their children to play with peers or others and cultivate their social skills and social self-confidence. For example: encourage children to say hello to other children, and say hello to property management or security guards; When shopping in the supermarket, encourage children to ask the staff which shelf to put the items they need to buy; Go to restaurants and encourage children to deal with waiters themselves. It is also important to remind children to say "please" and "thank you" often.
Put an end to doting. The unprincipled doting of the family is the chief culprit of the "Long Bian worm". When the child's crying tricks succeed repeatedly, he thinks that he can do whatever he wants, and naturally he no longer pays attention to whether his behavior conforms to the rules of social communication. But at the same time, children also clearly know that it is not feasible to do whatever they want in public places. Therefore, in public, he will always feel uncomfortable and restrained. Therefore, parents can't spoil their children blindly.
Help children gain social security and self-confidence
First associate with young people of the same age.
Adults or older children may bring nervousness to timid children, while playing with younger children may make him feel more secure. Therefore, parents may wish to let timid children associate with younger peers and gradually develop into older people.
Invite other children to our home.
His own home is the most familiar to children, and in this environment, he feels most secure. Invite other children to their own homes and encourage them to entertain guests as small hosts. In a familiar environment, timid children are easy to relax and successfully complete social tasks.
The range of communication is from small to large.
It is necessary to improve children's behavior step by step. When interacting with other children, you might as well start from a small scale, only play with 1 ~ 2 children, and then transition to a large-scale interaction, even with strangers.
Every family's situation is different, and every child's temperament is even different, so the causes of "Long Bian worm" are naturally different. Children's performance at home and abroad is different, so parents need to carefully observe and analyze, find out the reasons that are in line with their own logic, and then prescribe the right medicine.
How to cultivate children to be good at communication? First, provide more opportunities to get along with others.
Mothers are always afraid that their children will suffer, and there will be contradictions when they play with their children outside. Once the child suffers losses, mothers will inevitably take the child home and order the child not to play with someone again. This is not right. It's normal for children to have conflicts. Children should be encouraged to make more friends and get along well with them instead of avoiding minor injuries. Often taking children to the playground in the community, making new friends and taking them to small parties can create opportunities for children to get along with others.
In addition, don't ask too much of children, such as not playing with sand; Don't run around on the grass; Don't play with water. If there are too many restrictions, children will become more and more withdrawn.
Method 2: Guide children to talk more.
Children don't like to talk for two reasons. One is that they don't like to talk naturally. Such children are better at thinking. The other is that you criticize too much. The child wants to speak badly, and you think he speaks too slowly. Fast is meaningless; I think he's shameful. Wait. Your dislike makes children afraid to say more, which will cause inferiority after a long time. Chat with your child often and ask him if he has any new friends at school. Is the teacher in a good mood recently? Wait. Reading stories to children before going to bed and discussing stories together can encourage children's desire to speak.
Method 3: Teach children to overcome shyness and cowardice.
Research shows that about 1 1 ~ 15% of children tend to be too shy. Don't ignore the shyness of children. A strict mother will make her child's shyness more and more serious. When children are seven or eight years old, they stutter for a while. If his mother forcibly corrects it, it will make the stuttering worse. Facts have proved that any threatening behavior, such as scolding, satire, sarcasm or nagging, not only does not help the child at all, but will make him more shy and turn him from shyness into a serious psychological obstacle.
Mothers should tell their children not to care about other people's ideas when they speak, and treat themselves as mindless dolls. Give children more opportunities to express themselves. Encourage her to perform on stage and take part in the speech contest. As long as the manuscript is memorized, the child can improve his shyness. Even if you fail and lose people, don't over-expand. I believe that autumn is just a commemoration.
Method 4: Teach children some skills of making friends.
A child is like a blank sheet of paper. What color you draw will make him beautiful. Mastering the corresponding dating skills is the key to help children learn to communicate. 1, teach children to appreciate and learn to praise. Many children are afraid that others are better than him and stronger than him, just like praising others is demeaning themselves. Let children know that praising others is a virtue. Children should learn to discover the bright spots of others and praise others before they will be liked by most people. In life, we all like people who appreciate us and hate people who belittle us. The so-called "people who don't laugh" is the truth. 2. Teach children to be helpful. Helping others is also a virtue. Enthusiastic and caring people will take the initiative to help others. A helpful person is always full of enthusiasm for life and is also the most popular person. 3. Teach children to put themselves in other's shoes. Let the children know how to speak! Children sometimes expose other people's lies in public, or say other people's shortcomings in public, which will make children lose friends. If the child comes back and complains, "I'm not wrong. What is he angry about? " You have to tell him, if it were you, would you be embarrassed if others said the same thing to you? A person with a bad mouth will always hurt others inadvertently, and even a kind person is not really kind.
No one is born to be communicative, and the communicative ability will gradually improve with the growth and exploration of children. A popular person is the most beautiful regardless of his appearance. I believe that through your guidance and education, you will cultivate a beautiful teenager that everyone loves and flowers bloom.