But Zhang, played by Adi in Dear Yourself, is so humble and distressing. All the trivial matters in marriage are borne by her alone, and finally all the mistakes are piled on her and become the rejected one.
How wronged has Zhang lived? She is very busy in order to take care of her sick mother-in-law. Her husband, Liu Yang, was so busy with his female subordinates that he even beat her in public for the sake of mistress.
In Zhang's marriage, there is a scene that is hard to understand:
Liu Yang's mother was ill in hospital, but he couldn't raise enough money for the operation himself, and Zhi Zhi's cousin Yus paid for it.
Liu Yang didn't thank him at all, but asked Zhi Zhi in front of Yus, "Why do you want to change your medicine?" The implication is to accuse Zhi Zhi of abusing his mother, but as a big man, if you don't "abuse" your mother, you must show your money or attitude, right?
Cut the shopkeeper, no money, no effort, mother's sick daughter-in-law took money to take care of the relationship, take care of before going to bed, and what Liu Yang did was to find fault everywhere and pass the buck.
In marriage, it is a woman's sorrow to meet such an excellent love rat.
No one wants to see the once warm feelings fade away, and no one wants to see the once close people finally become strangers.
However, Zhang and his marriage are different. Even in a Chinese-style marriage with or without persuasion, there must be a majority of people who advocate her divorce.
As for the marriage that is still in the "redemption" period, I can give two suggestions:
Separate, try to live alone for a while and see if you feel relaxed and happy. If you think this is the life you want, live it the way you like.
If a person's life does not bring you any pleasure, but makes you more insecure, then you should think about how to improve the problems existing in this marriage.
The key to improving the problem is to find the root of the problem. I thought two people were born to live together. If there is something wrong with the relationship between husband and wife, the couple will find a time to sit down and talk about their dissatisfaction, and we will reflect and correct it together.
Zhang Zhizhi's marriage is also "inseparable". It was not until Zhang Zhizhi took her daughter Yu Wei and saw Liu Yang and Wei Yayun "show love" that she made up her mind to divorce completely.
Because it is similar to the popular marriage experience in Thirty Years Old, China and Gu Jia, Xu Huanshan and Liu Yang will naturally be compared with each other.
Liu Yang is an upgraded version of Xu Huanshan, who finally filed for divorce, while Liu Yang wanted to remarry Cecilia Cheung after hastily whitewashing.
Unlike Xu Huanshan, Liu Yang doesn't love Cecilia Cheung, and even he really despises the cowardly Cecilia Cheung, even without Wei Yayun, even though Cecilia Cheung sacrificed too much in this marriage. Realistically speaking, scum may change, but it is really difficult to maintain a good marriage without love.
And the way out for their marriage is really only separation, complete separation.
In fact, Zhang Zhizhi has a strong business ability and takes good care of her career and family, but Liu Yang's contribution to her is natural.
After Zhang divorced, her career ushered in a turning point. After a blow, she will understand that there is no need to compromise in marriage. Women should have their own careers and not force men to look up, but at least they will not feel inferior.
In fact, divorce is more difficult than expected, but when two people are together, they have to make do, and they don't have to be tied together.
There is no right or wrong in marriage itself, it is people who are wrong.
When people reach middle age, they are in a situation where there are old people and small people, and the pressure increases sharply. It is difficult to relax again, and the possibility of separation between husband and wife is greater. There are many effective ways to promote the relationship between husband and wife, depending on whether you want to break the deadlock or hurt each other chronically.
What I am most afraid of is that life is not smooth, there is no big principle problem, I have to take care of my children, I have to make a choice, and the quality of marriage is almost zero.
As for Liu Yang who has a problem of principle, the only possibility for Zhang Zhizhi to reverse is divorce. Feelings are like a cup full of water. If you are not careful, nothing will be left when you break the glass.
Before the divorce, every time Zhang went shopping, he was careful and careful. Buying clothes and bags costs tens of dollars, and your kettle is reluctant to return it. If there is an important occasion, you should borrow clothes and bags from your sisters.
In this way, she saved money for her husband, didn't blink, and didn't dislike expensive when she reported to her daughter for early education.
However, only after the divorce did she really become herself. A line in Sex and the City is like advice to a woman like Zhang: "A good life means I love you and I love myself."